Relationships: trials & temptations
- Thread starter Sebass
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I believe this may stem from a subconscious desire for... no, revenge is the incorrect term, I suppose comfort might suffice. Nonetheless your girlfriend admitted to an act of betrayal, albeit not in the complete sense, the act, intentional or otherwise, still took place. Thereafter you sought solace with a friend and have since derived feelings to some degree for this person. It is not a rarity when grow to have an attachment to something or in this scenario someone, who provided us solace when we felt lonely or distressed. While this friend of your may be viewed inferior to your current girlfriend, she has two superior qualities at present. She was your sense of tranquility when things went amiss and she has not betrayed your trust. If you feel loyalty to your girlfriend, it is best advised you distance yourself from this other girl or find some other means to distract your attention.
Personally you are most tolerate a man than I because it is unlikely I would so readily forgive my girlfriend were I in similar position as you. Intoxication to the extent you cheat, no matter how borderline to me, is an indication you have no self control and if alcohol has such an effect upon you, then it best not to consume such an amount. Granted if this is your girlfriend's second time drinking, her position in claiming it was a mistake is more worthy of forgiveness, I nevertheless cannot affirm with absolute certain I would. I nonetheless advise you to trend carefully hereafter, if the alcohol excuse is used a second time, move on without any hesitation.
Personally you are most tolerate a man than I because it is unlikely I would so readily forgive my girlfriend were I in similar position as you. Intoxication to the extent you cheat, no matter how borderline to me, is an indication you have no self control and if alcohol has such an effect upon you, then it best not to consume such an amount. Granted if this is your girlfriend's second time drinking, her position in claiming it was a mistake is more worthy of forgiveness, I nevertheless cannot affirm with absolute certain I would. I nonetheless advise you to trend carefully hereafter, if the alcohol excuse is used a second time, move on without any hesitation.
Ok you clearly dont need advice since your rationalizing everything shes done either end it or move on but clearly you made up your mind so you dont need our opinions since you defend her cheating behind your back. Denial is the worst thing to do to yourself.
Btw if you forgave her then you dont need to ask for advice just say fuck it it never happend now if you want to bang this other chick, id say this if you like her better than your current girl and are going to make a mistake make sure end your relationship and make sure its not just for sex or youll regret it. Otherwise stop talking to this girl that your tempted to bang.
Long rant coming on *Deep Breath*
Well, my girlfriend and I have been going out for a few months, and those moths have been great. However...she is always hanging out with other guys, and at first it didnt bother me. But then I found out, when we first started dating, that as she had asked me out there was someone else in her life. She was dating someone as she asked me to go out with er, why the hell would she do that? I confronted her about it and made her choose between the two of us, she chose me. I was overjoyed...but I was not over joyed that they were still going to hangout. (Fast forward a week) Her best friend had told me that they were still going out, but I didnt listen. A few days later I was over at her house and she brought out all of these stuffed animals, she said that he had given her them. She then proceede to grab a steak knife and tear them up and rip out all the stuffing, i didnt say it to her but that was one of the happiest moments of my life because i knew she was over him. (Fast forward a month) She had been hanging out with another guy and I didnt care because she said that she wasnt going to cheat on me again and I believed her, that might have been the worst mistake of my life. A few days later I had found out that she had kissed him at lunchtime. I confronted her about this and she said she admitted to doing it, she said that she didnt know what came over her. After not speaking for a few days i told her that I would give her one more chance, and I told her that this was her last one. That if she ever cheated on me again I would break up with her and never speak to her for the rest of my life.....third times the charm, right? And for a while, it was. For weeks she seemed different and that she actually wanted to be with me, and I was so happy. Things were going great between us and I thought they would stay like that forever. But then, her first boyfriend that she had been with for a year had showed up. Apparently he had run away from home a long time ago and was now contacting her again. Turns out, he didnt run away from home, he was sent to a mental instituition. Freaky right? So they started to talk and it was like she was slowly drifting away from me. (Fast froward to the present) We are still going out, and she has admitted that she still love him...AND the one she left in the beginning of our relationship. However, she swears that she loves me more than the other two combined, and I believe her...but when she kissed that other guy a while back, she had only known him for two weeks. All he had said was that she was cute, and she fell for him, just like that.
Now, her first love, the one who was sent to a mental institution, is back. And I have no idea what the hell im going to do. the only thing keeping me with her is that he lives in another state...but summers coming. What if he comes down here, and they get to talking, and the feelings for him reurn? Stronger than before. I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and she knows this because I tell her almost everyday.
If theres one thing I do know, its that I care for her more than anyone else in the world. And I know that I love her more than the other guys...for now im just going to wait, see what happens.
[sub] *Exhale* [/sub]
Well, my girlfriend and I have been going out for a few months, and those moths have been great. However...she is always hanging out with other guys, and at first it didnt bother me. But then I found out, when we first started dating, that as she had asked me out there was someone else in her life. She was dating someone as she asked me to go out with er, why the hell would she do that? I confronted her about it and made her choose between the two of us, she chose me. I was overjoyed...but I was not over joyed that they were still going to hangout. (Fast forward a week) Her best friend had told me that they were still going out, but I didnt listen. A few days later I was over at her house and she brought out all of these stuffed animals, she said that he had given her them. She then proceede to grab a steak knife and tear them up and rip out all the stuffing, i didnt say it to her but that was one of the happiest moments of my life because i knew she was over him. (Fast forward a month) She had been hanging out with another guy and I didnt care because she said that she wasnt going to cheat on me again and I believed her, that might have been the worst mistake of my life. A few days later I had found out that she had kissed him at lunchtime. I confronted her about this and she said she admitted to doing it, she said that she didnt know what came over her. After not speaking for a few days i told her that I would give her one more chance, and I told her that this was her last one. That if she ever cheated on me again I would break up with her and never speak to her for the rest of my life.....third times the charm, right? And for a while, it was. For weeks she seemed different and that she actually wanted to be with me, and I was so happy. Things were going great between us and I thought they would stay like that forever. But then, her first boyfriend that she had been with for a year had showed up. Apparently he had run away from home a long time ago and was now contacting her again. Turns out, he didnt run away from home, he was sent to a mental instituition. Freaky right? So they started to talk and it was like she was slowly drifting away from me. (Fast froward to the present) We are still going out, and she has admitted that she still love him...AND the one she left in the beginning of our relationship. However, she swears that she loves me more than the other two combined, and I believe her...but when she kissed that other guy a while back, she had only known him for two weeks. All he had said was that she was cute, and she fell for him, just like that.
Now, her first love, the one who was sent to a mental institution, is back. And I have no idea what the hell im going to do. the only thing keeping me with her is that he lives in another state...but summers coming. What if he comes down here, and they get to talking, and the feelings for him reurn? Stronger than before. I love my girlfriend with all my heart, and she knows this because I tell her almost everyday.
If theres one thing I do know, its that I care for her more than anyone else in the world. And I know that I love her more than the other guys...for now im just going to wait, see what happens.
[sub] *Exhale* [/sub]
This is ridiculous. She had her hand down another guy's pants. It's over, man. In my opinion anyways. I can't believe you would try to rationalize staying with her. There is other stuff I could say, but you should really talk to BonsaiK.
Well, one other thing I would say, and it may offend but I certainly mean no offense- Seems like a bunk story, kind of. The old "Well, we only did this and this and it didn't get that far until I made him stop and I said no but..." How many of us have been on the end of that one before? And Jesus, after only 3 days away? Come on man, I have to think, somewhere inside you, you've got to know you can't stand for this.
And how many people are going to have to tell you being drunk isn't an excuse before you consider them maybe being right?
Shit, I replied to an old thread. Sorry, the guy above me bumped it and I didn't look at the date.
Well, one other thing I would say, and it may offend but I certainly mean no offense- Seems like a bunk story, kind of. The old "Well, we only did this and this and it didn't get that far until I made him stop and I said no but..." How many of us have been on the end of that one before? And Jesus, after only 3 days away? Come on man, I have to think, somewhere inside you, you've got to know you can't stand for this.
And how many people are going to have to tell you being drunk isn't an excuse before you consider them maybe being right?
Shit, I replied to an old thread. Sorry, the guy above me bumped it and I didn't look at the date.
@keybird
Waiting is fine and dandy but you have got to draw a line somewhere, it isn't fair for you to have to put up with her shit for this long. you have to decide at what point you let her go. Otherwise you will end up having your chain yanked around for the rest of your life.
the whole point of being together with a girl is that both of you commit to keep each other safe/happy, etc. how is that going to work if she still loves the other two guys not just has feelings for them. its a one sided relationship with someone who doesn't want a relationship, just a lot of people who give her lots of attention and love, without being tied down to any of them.
IMHO let her go. it might hurt but its probably the best thing to do right now, and will be better in the long run.
also look at xDarc's post a bit up. he has a very good point.
Waiting is fine and dandy but you have got to draw a line somewhere, it isn't fair for you to have to put up with her shit for this long. you have to decide at what point you let her go. Otherwise you will end up having your chain yanked around for the rest of your life.
the whole point of being together with a girl is that both of you commit to keep each other safe/happy, etc. how is that going to work if she still loves the other two guys not just has feelings for them. its a one sided relationship with someone who doesn't want a relationship, just a lot of people who give her lots of attention and love, without being tied down to any of them.
IMHO let her go. it might hurt but its probably the best thing to do right now, and will be better in the long run.
also look at xDarc's post a bit up. he has a very good point.
Oh COME ON!
What has happened to Males? IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS! DO WHAT'S RIGHT!
Get rid of them both and find someone better. NOW!
[sub]Disclaimer: The_Healer is not responsible for any damage that may be caused to your emotions, face or groin region.[/sub]
What has happened to Males? IGNORE YOUR FEELINGS! DO WHAT'S RIGHT!
Get rid of them both and find someone better. NOW!
[sub]Disclaimer: The_Healer is not responsible for any damage that may be caused to your emotions, face or groin region.[/sub]