Relationships!

[Hey Joe]

Oh noes, not another relationship thread! Rather, the anti-relationship thread.

The question I wanted to ask of you all is 'are relationships overrated'? You see, I've always been somewhat of a commitment-phobe (to the extent that my mum never meets the women I'm dating because the relationship doesn't get to the 'introduce to mum' stage) and I beat myself up over it all the time.

It's been like that for as long as I can remember but there's always the self-rationalisation which says that why does everybody need relationships anyhow, and why do I feel bad for not wanting one?

So, relationships. Overrated?

DISCUSS

 

[Arehexes]

Yes they are overrated, people think it's important to have but it's really not. I've been happier by myself then when I was dating.

 

[Matronadena]

I'd say it really really depends, I've had a myriad of relationships and by design they are usually meant to fail for a good portion of our younger lives......its how we learn... but also nothing anyone should use to try and validate themselves.

So that said, Not really overrated if your looking at it as a learning experience whilst you walk away.

I'm happily married, 2 kids, my spouse and I work together from home and have never fought " the off handed smart ass comment to piss the other one off when they are in a pissy mood not withstanding" though even that boils away when one of us says something random, or just flat out stupid, and it turns into an hour long laughing fit, then typically spend the next several hours playfully mocking each other, then eventually mocking other things in life etc etc... the honey moon is long long over, but the fact that we have fun, and enjoy the long hours on a professional, and personal side show that there are the good sides to a sucessful relationship out there

 

[Labyrinth]

I say no to the blanket statement. Some relationships are, others aren't. It's working out the difference which provides problems as there are often only subtle signs as to which is which. Many close relationships I have mean so much to me. I include my friends in that, as there are some which I can talk to about absolutely anything and I love them for it.

Do I value relationships? Hell yes. That goes for distanced and intimate. I am somewhat of a people-person though, so I might be biased.

 

[bikeninja]

It varies from person to person.
I myself am in a long term relationship,and I love my girlfriend and want to be with her for a long time.
However, long-term relationships (or any at all)are not for everyone, I know plenty of people who are happy by themselves, or just "fooling around."
Basically, if you haven't met someone you really care for in that way, or if you just don't want to, then that's your choice.

 

[Soulkiller3]

Yes they are overrated, people think it's important to have but it's really not. I've been happier by myself then when I was dating.

This, its pointless being in an unhappy relationship for the sake of it.

 

[slxiii]

if you've ever had a good relationship, they do matter
or if you're single, they matter

 

[Aramax]

Take it from a pro, relationship is never black or white... it's gray. The best way I could explain relationship to you is by breaking it down into three categories; The good, the bad and the ugly.

The good: Of course there's the sex but you dont really need a relationship for that so if you're only interested in "rabbit-like" behavior then a relationship is not for you. A relationship also offers a lot of comfort like that warm feeling of having someone next to you in your bed at night, taking showers together, breakfast for two in the morning and having someone you can talk to/whine to whenever you feel like it.

The bad: A relationship with someone you're not compatible with will be a disaster from the first day. You want to do something and she wants to do something else, you tell her something important but she disregard it and do the opposite, she argues constantly even when she know how dead wrong/guilty she is and let's not forget the manipulation. I could write a whole chapiter on "The bad" of a relationship but it will never make a difference, in the end you never see it comming and you always want to play the denial card on yourself untill it the cold truth come slapping you in the vital organs. Just remember that if she was not meant for you it's better that way... and dont get rid of the pictures. =P

The ugly: It's what your supposed to see in the mirror when you're in face of it, just like everyone else. It's normal and human to not be perfect so live with it and try to think about that next time you look at the girl who's looking at you.

Relationships are not overrated, you are. Respect.

 

[itsnotyouitsme]

Short answer: yes
Long answer:
Relationships are there because people feel the need to validate themselves with another person. You've seen these people. They will have a new girlfriend every week and have no emotional attachment to anything.
On the other hand, girls tend to seek relationships not for personal validation, but rather for personal comfort. And not the good kind of comfort either. Not the type of comfort you get on a water bed. But the kind you get after running 10 miles by the whip and collapsing of the street. girls tend to seek relationships for this reason, "i don't want to be alone" and not the cute kind of way either. It's more like "i don't want to be the only one without a boyfriend." These obsessive people make up the "popular" cult in schools because they are made up of big boobed drama queens and pretty boy jocks. And somehow, the lower group, decided this is the way it should be and did it themselves.
Now everyone is running around trying to get another boy/girl friend after the 35th one before they enter high school.
Relationships went from something sweet and special to a weekender at your mums. And it's very sickening.
Overrated, overdone, pathetic.

 

[Matronadena]

that is more or less how it is in the younger days of H.S and even early collage....at some point around the mid 20's the rules completely change , the self validating relationship hungry ones of youth become used up emotional wrecks..

Those who followed their gut instincts, learned a lesson in each relationship they had but focused more on developing their own life and identity and stability in the real world fare much differently.

those who let the childish chaos of youth scare them off all human contact end up with several hundred cats or small dogs they treat like children, or retain the child like inability to fully grasp social behaviors of their, and the other gender...

and then some just....do what they need to, but tend to bury themselves in distractions like work, or a hobby..

but to take the fevered pitch of youth and assume thats how it is in the adult world really have a shock coming.

 

[Ancalagon]

Generally, yes: I do think relationships are overrated. There are far too many people who view being in a relationship as being qualitatively better than being single. I split up with my girlfriend a couple of months ago, when we both came to the realisation that we were just 'going through the motions' for the sake of keeping the relationship together. Since we've split up, I've really enjoyed having more time to do all the things I want to achieve, and not having to take someone else's feelings in to account.

The irony is, of course, that when you're feeling self-confident and happy being single you tend to get far more attention from the opposite sex than when you're desperately chasing them all the time. Also, I'm not saying that being in a relationship can't be worthwhile; far from it, it can be the most amazing and joyful experience. I'm just saying that being single and comfortable with it is better than being in a relationship which is not really what either or both parties really want, even if it's outwardly functional.

 

[Bunnymarn]

"Happiness only real when shared." - Into The Wild.

 

[Nexus424]

Eh relationships are a perk of life. You don't really need them. But if you have one then you can live (maybe better who knows). That's the shortie version. Too busy with Mass Effect for long.

 

[shannon.archer]

relationships are good so long as they are not forced if you cant find it workin then just end it. no point stressin over something that wont work anyways. plenty more fish in the sea aye ^_^

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

You don't need a relationship to have fun. I have so much fun with my best friend and everyone thinks we are dating, but we're just having fun. You don't need to be going out to show someone you care, and in a relationship you only get hurt more if you find out they don't. Dude if you don't want a relationship then there's nothing wrong with that, just go out and live life, have fun, like i said we have so much fun just flirting with each other, we don't need a dating relationship (I would like to point out that I at least would like one with her, and it is a future possibility with us). Just go with it mate, whatever happens, maybe in time you'll find someone you really want something long term with... Thats my 2 cents

 

[Mariena]

Relationships, engagement, marriage.. Who cares? I just want to be with the person I value the most, and could not live without that person. I don't need to be married, or have some form say I am with that person officially.

And if you don't want to be with a person, then don't. You don't need to be in a relationship. If you want one, you can be in one.

 

[Inverse Skies]

I wouldn't have thought they were overrated before I was in one for two years... and now that I'm single again I'm honestly wondering if they really ARE worth it. I learnt a lot sure, but it's too much fun doing whatever I want to.

It's up to the individual as to whether they think relationships are important or not. Some people have to be in a relationship in order to survive, some don't. It's too much of a personal opinion taste.

So me? Yeah a little. Being single with my own place... ohhhh the possibilities.

 

[NewGeekPhilosopher]

Sometimes I get lonely. Then I remember being whiney and emo is a bad thing. I don't know. Maybe somebody will come along later in life who will love me. High school dating is more about politics and who you're seen with than actual love. It's a bit hard for me considering the condition I was born with but I try and manage it. I feel less lonely and depressed now my meds have shifted to a more suitable, smaller dose because I don't need a huge dose that makes me drowsy, just like I don't really need just any woman in my life to define my existence.

I was one of those nice guys who got burned a little too often, but instead of Sweeney Todd I hope to be a bit more V from V for Vendetta when it comes to my romanticised leanings. I don't know. Sometimes I feel I have the mind of that child pretty boy from Ouran High School Host Club trapped in a grown up body that somehow doesn't attract the ladies.

 

[CrashandBurn2640]

Real relationships: Not overrated
Flings: Probably overrated but still fun on occasion!