Reliable Source: Diablo 3, Bad Children and Night-vision!

wilsonscrazybed

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Dec 16, 2007
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Reliable Source: Diablo 3, Bad Children and Night-vision!

Reliable Source tackles censorship, demons, and children.

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Diablini

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May 24, 2009
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Pahahaha! Replacing with Mao, Marx and... OBAMA! Hahahaha! That was great material!
 

messy

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Dec 3, 2008
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Diablini said:
Pahahaha! Replacing with Mao, Marx and... OBAMA! Hahahaha! That was great material!
I was going to say this. Best line of the entire line of articles (not just this one, all the other reliable sources)

Really good satire
 
Feb 13, 2008
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Damn, I missed this last night.

Ok...Page 1: Scary
Page 2: Delving too close to the truth.
Page 3: Nearly at that line
Page 4: ...It's what we were all thinking.
Page 5: Ooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Top, top work. Just close enough to be nearly mistaken for reality.

P.S. [small]purple headed demon? I thought Funk was bad[/small]
 

Nimbus

Token Irish Guy
Oct 22, 2008
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wilsonscrazybed said:
Nimbus said:
Wii stapler? Seriously?
It's for Wii Office Games, out next summer.
For a minute there I actually thought you were serious. I even googled Wii office games.

It's a stupid idea, but I wouldn't put it past Nintendo.
 

whaleswiththumbs

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Feb 13, 2009
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"China is also requiring us to replace all our initial classes with popular socialist heroes like Mao, Marx, Lennon and Obama.

As if that wasn't enough, the ESRB has demanded that we maintain their standards for US game releases by processing the game in a grainy brown filter, removing all dialog and replacing it with catchy one-liners."
LMAO, I knew there was a reason I loved this article
 

samsonguy920

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Mar 24, 2009
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Bayonetta looks like the Baroness at Mardi Gras. Think she'll be at Bourbon Street?
Wii Circumcision...Yes, but will it be kosher?
Silly kids, they missed some of the funner things of adult entertainment: monthly bills, taxes, getting up at 3 in the morning to beat the traffic jams to work, getting up twice or thrice at night to go to the bathroom...
 

feather240

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Jul 16, 2009
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I thought this was real for the first two pages. By the third I got realized it was satire.
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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feather240 said:
I thought this was real for the first two pages. By the third I got realized it was satire.
I felt the same way while writing it, though I must admit there was some 12 year scotch involved.
 

Brett Alex

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Jul 22, 2008
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The Diablo censorship was the best bit in my opinion, had a serve for just about everyone and their autocratic regimes.
 

Fortesque

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Jan 16, 2009
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"In fact Australia's OFLC has asked us to double the price of Diablo 3, remove all violence, and release it only after the rest of the world has had the game for at least six months."

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT! God dam I hate this fucking country. Fuck You Kevin Rudd and Fuck You Stephen Conroy.

EDIT: I am aware this is satire... Still
 

Dommyboy

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Jul 20, 2008
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At first, I thought it was real. Quite cleverly done. It's a shame though that these are problems that could occur, especially in communist Australia.
 

Fearzone

Boyz! Boyz! Boyz!
Dec 3, 2008
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Hey leave us one-handed game players alone! I drive my car with one hand most of the time so why don't I get to play videogames that way? Half of the afternoon I spent trying to get the right position of hand and wind finger on the six-axis controller so that I might be able to enjoy Flower with just my right hand... WITH NO LUCK! Relaxing-- my ass!
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Fearzone said:
Hey leave us one-handed game players alone! I drive my car with one hand most of the time so why don't I get to play videogames that way? Half of the afternoon I spent trying to get the right position of hand and wind finger on the six-axis controller so that I might be able to enjoy Flower with just my right hand... WITH NO LUCK! Relaxing-- my ass!
One-handed flower? I don't think I have ever been more disturbed with a mental image before.

The_root_of_all_evil said:
P.S. [small]purple headed demon? I thought Funk was bad[/small]
Wish I was joking about that one actually.

 

veloper

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Jan 20, 2009
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Funniest RS yet.
I LOLed at Australia, but unfortunately that bit is mostly true.
 

The Austin

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Jul 20, 2009
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Lol I thought this was real for a moment. This is my new favorite thing on the Escapist.
 

Florion

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Dec 7, 2008
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For the lulz, I showed my mother the one about British ratings fail. It took her a moment to register that no kids actually killed any cameramen or wore their faces as masks.
 

Tantalus3D

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Nov 5, 2008
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Very funny :)

The nintendo article reminden me of something:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a14s1LcCUWs

So much for wii accessories. :p
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Tantalus3D said:
Very funny :)

The nintendo article reminden me of something:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a14s1LcCUWs

So much for wii accessories. :p
That's pretty entertaining.
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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excellent,although i cant wait for people to use the nightvision goggles while playing cod
 

wilsonscrazybed

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Dec 16, 2007
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Masterstuffing said:
excellent,although i cant wait for people to use the nightvision goggles while playing cod
While playing? Just in case you're ambushed?
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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if you use the real ones and the in game ones you can see in the dark twice as much, im just thinking that packaging night vision goggles with a game that creates large amounts of light is kinda a bad idea
 

ERadical

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Aug 30, 2009
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I think you have to be Australian to really appreciate what he says about Australian Gaming:
and release it only after the rest of the world has had the game for at least six months.
it hurts me that's so close to the truth ;)
Keep up the good work
 

toapat

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Mar 28, 2009
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I want to point out that even with the graphic violence of Diablo 3, it can not trump either the Graphic Violence of God of War games or the shear magnatude of death and destruction you have to reap in any game named Samuri Warriors/Dynasty Warriors/Warriors Orochi
 

Fightgarr

Concept Artist
Dec 3, 2008
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Priming the pipes was very clever wording for a game that you play one-handed.
I would also like to add that the censorship of Diablo III in Japan is being adjusted to that all female characters are removed to avoid the game being potentially mistaken for a game known as Demon Rape III which involves directing scantily clad women into the bowels of hell in order to sacrifice them to the atrocities below. Demon Rape as a franchise has been targeted by officials as one of the primary examples of games that should be banned. So far the developers have been avoiding the issue stating that you do not play as the rapist and are thus not responsible for rape occurring in the game. Needless to say Blizzard is wary to be confused with this game, while Activision is considering the possibility of taking on the franchise because it appears that the Japanese developers managed to squeeze out a couple of sequels.