Reliable Source: Mac Vs. PC

[Steve the Pocket]

Wow. I've never read this column before, so I had no idea what to expect. At first it looked like a real story that was going to end in the usual "Macs are overpriced" point, and I was like, meh. And then I kept reading and it looked like it was going to turn into a story about how Macs are overpriced AND all the stereotypes about their users are true. And then it crossed the line a second time [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrossesTheLineTwice] and it got hilarious.

And then I came here and found generic Mac bashing from people who apparently took the story too seriously. Big surprise.

 

[Abedeus]

While your story sounds like something a friend of mine would make up (only not quite as good), I'm more interested in the fact you claim to have a sister named "Maryanne." If by chance, you really do have a sister with that name, then you have my sympathy. Not only did your parents name you after your sister, they did it in spite of the fact you are male.

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

...Then let me say, I'm even more sorry now. Your dad named all his children after a guy who had 12 people on the team and returned without any of them?

 

[DigitalSushi]

While your story sounds like something a friend of mine would make up (only not quite as good), I'm more interested in the fact you claim to have a sister named "Maryanne." If by chance, you really do have a sister with that name, then you have my sympathy. Not only did your parents name you after your sister, they did it in spite of the fact you are male.

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

...Then let me say, I'm even more sorry now. Your dad named all his children after a guy who had 12 people on the team and returned without any of them?

And without an arm too, this is the sort of person you should look up too.

Remember in the civil war all weapons were two handed, this dude survived with one arm.

 

[Abedeus]

While your story sounds like something a friend of mine would make up (only not quite as good), I'm more interested in the fact you claim to have a sister named "Maryanne." If by chance, you really do have a sister with that name, then you have my sympathy. Not only did your parents name you after your sister, they did it in spite of the fact you are male.

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

...Then let me say, I'm even more sorry now. Your dad named all his children after a guy who had 12 people on the team and returned without any of them?

And without an arm too, this is the sort of person you should look up too.

Remember in the civil war all weapons were two handed, this dude survived with one arm.

My grandpa survived WWII with one leg.

Your argument is invalid. Especially since the civil war was... well, a civil war. No other country cared about it.

 

[Tony2077]

cool victory for the PC

 

[Jonathan Wingo]

I personally like macs, the way they run is nice, they are just too expensive for the hardware you get in them.

Macs do attract the crazy hippies though. Not sure why, Windows is the one with the recycle bin, mac has a trash can.

Way to go, teaching that hippie not to mess around with people who build their own computers!

 

[BloodRed Pixel]

Dear Lord Z,
My dad didn't name me after either of my older sisters (Maryanne and Marian), he named us all after an ancestor and civil war hero: Lieutenant Marion Keybridge Cox. The story goes that he took 12 gallows-bound soldiers and turned them into a special infiltration unit. The mission went horribly wrong and only Lt. Cox returned. Rumors had it that he had eaten the other men and his right arm to survive but there was never enough evidence to hang him, so they gave him a Purple Heart instead.

Now THIS is 100times more funny than your entire story.
I nearly fell from the chair, laughing.

 

[DigitalSushi]

My grandpa survived WWII with one leg.

Your argument is invalid. Especially since the civil war was... well, a civil war. No other country cared about it.

My argument is not invalid, Marion Cox's ancestor was the only survivor of a special forces unit and he survived with only one arm... heard it before?

yes, Marion's ancestor is Revolver Ocelot.

I didn't know either of my male grandparents, one was a bank robber, the other one I don't know.

 

[Xeros]

That is one of the funniest, most badass stories I've read in a long time.

 

[Playbahnosh]

[..] If I got the computer set up quickly, I could stop by Giorgio's and pick up a BBQ chicken pizza and beer to wash the taste of health out of my mouth.

That is the best sentence I've heard in a LONG time!

Love your stories man, keep writing! I don't know if any of them are true (I'm not implying they are not), but it they are, you have some very interesting life.

 

[Jim From Accounting]

Seriously though, is there anything in this world better than Barbecue Chicken Pizza?

2 of them ?

 

[Thedutchjelle]

The story was somewhat funny but I'm saddened that the Mac vs PC war just won't die.

 

[El Poncho]

I had a big grin on my face at the end, great article. I think i'll be reading this weekly now ^^

 

[MGlBlaze]

12345? That's the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage!

Seriously great read and I had many laughs keep up the good work.

It's also one of the most commonly used kinds of passwords, frighteningly enough. Seriously, a lot of e-mail passwords are just things like '123'.

Anyway, a very nice article as always. Horray for PC chassis as deadly weapons! I'm a little disappointed you didn't try and preserve the evidence in some way, but the fact that the man had legged it and took your sister's purse with him is pretty much an admission of guilt right there, anyway.

I'll always be a PC person, honestly. I have an iPod touch, of course, and it's a nice little thing, but I'm just familiar with how PCs work. Hell, I tried to use a Mac once. I couldn't even figure out how to turn the bloody thing on until the owner showed me how.

Besides, pre-built stuff is always really overpriced.

The story was somewhat funny but I'm saddened that the Mac vs PC war just won't die.

The Mac versus PC war dying would be like fanboyism itself dying; thanks to human nature, that isn't going to happen, I'm afraid. People grow out of it, but there'll always be a LOT of fanboys in the world at any given point in time.

 

[Hayate_GT]

is this a true story? even if its not its a good one...

 

[UtopiaV1]

Awesome, i laughed hard! Great stuff, keep it up man, you're a legend!

 

[scienceguy8]

Despite the fact that I'm a Mac user, I found that generally funny and entertaining. Good job protecting your sister from an identity thief by the use of a gratuitously-heavy tower.

And no, I'm not a hippy: I'm a clean-cut electrical engineering undergrad who keeps Windows 7 on his iMac for games.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

Fuck weight to protect my PC. If you can get to it, you deserve it!