Reliable Source: Megan Fox Wins VGA for Best Human 2009

[Dr Happypills]

I don't mean to be a dick, but it's obviously Gonzo journalism. Specifically Hunter S Thompson-esque style (which I guess he described as failed Gonzo, but close enough). I'm ruining a really good joke by explaining it, but since some people don't get it...

The winners he named and his disgust for the event? That happened.
His behavior? His story about the after party? Etc? Didn't.

I think, anyway. I'm just calling it as I see it. I don't come here enough so I don't think I've come across him before.

Either way, very entertaining.

 

[Misaek]

If there ever was a best human award and if Megan Fox won it, I would find a way to freeze my self in Carbonite but instead of Carbonite it will be liquidized pig stomach acid and free myself with a tub of napalm in 20 years just to do it again until something happens that makes the human race better and then we would all gather round and burst into song.

 

[Bajaraja]

This sounds a lot like an article I'd find on Cracked
And by that I mean it's "balls-to-the-walls" awesome.
Oh and lol to the idiot who says this isn't proper journalism. You know what? No one gives a shit.

Bullshit

Idiocy

I agree good sir.

 

[Tuddle]

Megan Fox is a B****

 

[SamElliot'sMustache]

A lot of good points have been made about how awful the Spike VGAs are, but the thing that bothers me the most are the awards named "Best Performance by a Human [insert gender]." As opposed to what, a performance by a kangaroo male or female? Why not just say "Best Voice Actor/Actress" and not have an award that sounds like it was named by Morbo. And if they are naming it that because there's an award for "Best Performance by Digital Something-or-Other," then that's just stupid because the quality of the character models qualifies more as animation than acting, so "Best Animation" would work just fine.

The whole thing reeks of a bunch of fat, bald guys in suits looking at gamers and going "What's the best way we can get them to buy our shit while we mock them?" And this is what they came up with. Though, it seems a good number of gamers are such complacent tools that they go along with it when given the option (that is, unless the votes were rigged to filter out everyone but the morons), leading to things like Megan Fox getting "Best" Anything.

2. The title is the bloody joke. I... I can't believe you wouldn't get that off the bat. Sometimes it takes me halfway in before I realize he's made up a good deal, if not all of his story, and then I remember the title. It's... gah, I can't remember the word. I want to say ironic, but I know that's not it; it's funny because he calls it "Reliable Source" when it clearly isn't. Or at least, that's the joke, whether you find it funny or not.

'Ironic' is the right word.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

That was hysterical. Wish I was there.

 

[Twilightruler]

Dear god I hate the VGAs...I stopped watching it for years and decided to give it a shot again this year..Just as much total bull-shit as the last time I watched it...OT: The article was hilarious, nice job lol

 

[Quoth]

Some nice gonzo reporting here. It was slightly reminiscent of Hunter S. Thompson but I'm guessing that was the intended angle.

 

[Hashandir]

An excellent piece of writing... doesn't really matter wheter its fact or fiction since you, my good Sir, have managed to put into words the emotions me and my friends feel towards the "awards".

I salute you

 

[Lordpils]

The VGAs are the most horrible example of shitty video game award shows, how can you justify giving Megan Fox a nomination let alone an award for best voice acting? I don't just mean from a professional standpoint I mean from an ethical one.

 

[JWAN]

What....

Seriously....

Jack Black got robbed.

Why? Neither of them even are human.
He is just a walking ball of hair and fat and she is a fucking mannequin brought to life by dark magics by sacrificing a dozen virgins and 50 talented actors. And in the end we get a whore who is not fit to sell hemroid cream on commercials showing at 3am.

Ok, who would you nominate then.

 

[raunchysandwich]

I am really afraid to watch the VGA shit... Its nice that some random corporate assholes turned into another business NOT

 

[GloatingSwine]

I'm not understanding all the rage and hate about Megan Fox in this thread. I mean sure she's hardly an actress, but really she's just another plastic hollywood person, there have been others before and there will be others again. Why get your knickers in a twist?

 

[ArcWinter]

That was funny!

Although I think the people not getting the joke, and then being completely destroyed made up about one third of the hilarity.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

I rather like this part of the Escapist. Simple reading of an article never seemed so enjoyable.

 

[swansman]

Great article, I had fun reading it. I knew that the VGAs were a joke but its nice to read an article about someone who has common sense going there and telling me how bad it is.

 

[antigodoflife]

Someone needs to help my poor brain out here...

How does a Cow win 'Best Human'?

 

[goldenheart323]

Gee, some of you guys are great at fully comprehending what I said and so helpful and good at making new people unfamiliar with this site feel welcome.

I said I wasn't judging him on his main job of getting people to this site. He uses comedy to get people to this site. I said he's a terrible journalist... which he is. However, being a good journalist isn't his goal. This is where non-dicks just say something like "Umm, he's not trying to be a good journalist. He's just a comedian who uses the guise of journalism to to deliver his jokes."

I never said this site should bend to my expectations. I said it's smart to let the audience know what's coming. I don't set the standards for good writing. I just know what they are. Is the article "for funny" or is it for news? How hard is to make that clear? I understand some sites are all about humor, but this site mixes some news with comedy. That makes it harder for new people to know what to expect.

I especially liked Cavouku's comment

2. The title is the bloody joke. I... I can't believe you wouldn't get that off the bat. Sometimes it takes me halfway in before I realize he's made up a good deal, if not all of his story, and then I remember the title. It's... gah, I can't remember the word. I want to say ironic, but I know that's not it; it's funny because he calls it "Reliable Source" when it clearly isn't. Or at least, that's the joke, whether you find it funny or not.

He says I should get the joke right off the bat, but he can go for half the article before figuring it out. Nice.

 

[Cavouku]

Gee, some of you guys are great at fully comprehending what I said and so helpful and good at making new people unfamiliar with this site feel welcome.

I said I wasn't judging him on his main job of getting people to this site. He uses comedy to get people to this site. I said he's a terrible journalist... which he is. However, being a good journalist isn't his goal. This is where non-dicks just say something like "Umm, he's not trying to be a good journalist. He's just a comedian who uses the guise of journalism to to deliver his jokes."

I never said this site should bend to my expectations. I said it's smart to let the audience know what's coming. I don't set the standards for good writing. I just know what they are. Is the article "for funny" or is it for news? How hard is to make that clear? I understand some sites are all about humor, but this site mixes some news with comedy. That makes it harder for new people to know what to expect.

I especially liked Cavouku's comment

2. The title is the bloody joke. I... I can't believe you wouldn't get that off the bat. Sometimes it takes me halfway in before I realize he's made up a good deal, if not all of his story, and then I remember the title. It's... gah, I can't remember the word. I want to say ironic, but I know that's not it; it's funny because he calls it "Reliable Source" when it clearly isn't. Or at least, that's the joke, whether you find it funny or not.

He says I should get the joke right off the bat, but he can go for half the article before figuring it out. Nice.

A bit hypocritical, but you seem to be so oh high and mightier than I, so your perception should be more advanced, right?

If it only takes someone as low as me halfway, than surely you could get it off the bat. You've proven that you clearly possess greater understanding.

Now stop being a dick, because as you can see, it just makes others act like dicks.

But yes; he's not a journalist, a comedian. I thought I mentioned that myself, but if I missed it my apologies, I was consumed with annoyance to be as clear as I'd prefer.