Remember when "bullying" entailed physical assault?

[Phasmal]

Snip.

Ugh, as usual I'm bad at getting my point across.

I wasn't quite talking about people who had experienced things that severe, but the type of bullying that most `nerds` have experienced. Sorry if you thought I was generalising.
I really was talking about just schoolyard stuff that ends there, and the people who struggle to leave it back there because it became a part of their identity. I was actually thinking of someone I knew when I was typing, so I was too vague.

 

[Something Amyss]

-snip-

Nah. At least in part I overreacted. We all have our pressure points, and this is something that I've dealt with for over 30 years now. Also, my back was having a particularly bad day, which always has the side effect of reminding me of all those lovely days I was told that if I just stood up to people, I wouldn't get the shit kicked out of me.

The reality was, of course, that they used knives and baseball bats and a couple of times I had guns pointed at me. Because standing up for yourself works!

So yeah. Confluence of circumstances.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I'm almost 40, and I experienced a mix of both physical and verbal bullying in elementary/high school. It was equally bad, and I recall viewing both as bullying at the time.

It's possible OP is 75 or something. I don't know how far back we're intended to go here.

The reality was, of course, that they used knives and baseball bats and a couple of times I had guns pointed at me. Because standing up for yourself works!

I think you've shot well past bullying and into the realm of attempted murder, old chum. Did you go to the authorities?

 

[WouldYouKindly]

Still does, just no longer required. Physical wounds are quite obvious, but significantly easier to deal with than emotional wounds. You can go to school authorities with a broken bone or black eye and get something done about it(probably). Come to them with a story about how someone said something mean to you and they'll brush you off.

I, for one, wish the highschool bullies had the balls to actually hit me. I'd have never tolerated it and they probably would have seen the worse of whatever fight went down. In the least the school wouldn't be able to ignore the problem when the hockey player ends up broken bone not relating to his sport. No matter, I was mentally tough enough to handle all their bullshit anyway.

 

[Aurion]

"Remember when "bullying" entailed physical assault?"

Honestly? No.

Speaking generally, the most effective types of bullying don't resort to physical assault to get the bully's point across- a bully beats someone up and it becomes a lot more likely that something actually gets done about them. Threats of physical assault are a pretty common component of bullying, of course. Actual physical assault's never been required, though.

Never really had problems with bullying in school. I have a certain fondness for sharp objects. I think people noticed.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

No. when was that? I almost wish that the torment I had to endure had been the physical variety 'cause that's easier to confront. Verbal abuse is a lot harder to confront.

 

[Denamic]

I was bullied, physical assault included. It hurts being punched, and it's painful to be in a chokehold. But the psychological assaults were by far worse in the long term. Bruises and cuts heal within days, but the feeling that you're worthless as a human being can stick with you for life.

 

[lunavixen]

I got bullied all through school, both physical and verbal, the worst two physicals bullying episodes I can remember is the times I got thrown down the concrete stairwells at the school (that happened three times, the bullies were never caught) and the time two bullies tried to push me off a first floor balcony outside the library onto concrete, I only got out of that second one by fighting really, really hard (to the point I ended up breaking two fingers, the wrist and a rib of one of them without realising it), I had no friends that would stand up to them (I had almost no friends anyway). I haven't been in school for about 8 years and my self esteem is still trashed as a result of all the bullying.

 

[CaptainCoxwaggle]

I wish physical assault was still allowed in school.

When I was in school I got a lot of insults thrown at me for being a nerd. One time three guys ganged up on me after school and beat me up, so I spent the next week following them one by one when they were going home and taking them down when it was a fair fight. Unfortunately I was suspended when one of the pansies cried to a teacher about a broken arm. This incident at least prevented anyone else from trying any physical "assault" on me, but they still kept insulting me and crying to any supervisor or teacher if I attempted to rectify their manners.

So eventually I just decided to lie and tell the teacher that they made racist comments about me and they got suspended. What a world.

 

[Laser Priest]

I only really got physically bullied in school when I was about 14 or 15. And it was less direct bullying me and more that I had some sort of hero complex and felt the need to pick fights with anyone picking on people. I only recall two specific occasions: One douchebag punched me in the face while I was catching a bus after I got him in trouble and another asshole grabbed me and slammed me back first into these metal-wire lockers we had. I think both of the people responsible for those moved away at most a year later though. My last few years of school were pretty damn tame, at least for me. There were fights, yes (and a stabbing once) but they were mostly between people arguing about one thing or another. And I think the stabbing was more of a racism issue than general bullying.

 

[Rebel_Raven]

Spent my entire childhood being bullied in one fashion, or another. Physical, verbal, racist crap (try being the only Asian in a school of over a thousand in the southern united states. You're a lightning rod for every stereotype.), and so forth.
It's like I have some aura that screams "give me a hard time." Even to this day, it goes on, possibly in some dumbassed attempt at humor. Just helps me hate people.

I've been in numerous fights (though it stopped in highschool since the police would get involved) but never started them. they usually ended up broken up, mercifully for the people against me since there's not a whole lot of half way with me, and I know how to hurt people.

Yeah, there's been physical bullying done to me that didn't set me off, too.

I never limited bullying to physical. I think it's absurd to, personally.
I basically define it as oppressing someone. Actively going out of your way to find some way to make them miserable, and only care about doing that. Sure a friend might give you a hard time here and there, but you go hang out, and have fun, and they generally make good balance of being good to you, and being bad. Friendship is give, and take as far as joy goes. Bullying is no giving of joy.

Honestly, the non-violent bullying is the worst, IMO. Talking to people younger than me, it just reminds me of how smart it is to just use hateful words. School staff are nowhere near as likely to move on someone being nonviolently harassed as they would if a punch were thrown. Better yet, for the bully, if the person being harassed gets violent, the bully can play the victim card, and/or the person who threw the first punch gets in the most trouble regardless of the history between them.
It's far harder to fight against a nonviolent bully. It's sorta like going 3 miles per hour over the speed limit. Sure you're speeding, but few cops are going to give enough of a damn to pull you over for it.
It's way easier, IMO, to be non-violent. You're basically not going to get touched, and you can make people miserable, not that I'd care to do this sort of thing. I'm just basing it off observations.
Further, words are as potent for a 90 pound person as they are for a 250 lbs person. An equalizer, so to speak.

Honestly, I feel like I've been treated like an outcast so long, I'm too used to it. It's hard for me to like people, or go out of my way to talk to them in an attempt to be a pal. Working, it's require for me to talk to people, but its different. Bullying can have lasting effects on a person, and there's not a whole lot that can be done about it. Scars are scars. They may fade, but they don't heal. Inspirational bullshit isn't always going to work.

 

[Ranorak]

Lets just say that I know a few people who got bullied a lot.
They usually prefered they days when they were just beaten, instead of the days they were totally ignored, or shunned.

 

[maxben]

Reading through this thread I am quite shocked. I have never been physically bullied and have never met someone who has been. I have seen verbal bullying, but it was rare or a one-time thing instead of a systemic problem where one person was constantly attacked.

 

[Ramzal]

I've been bullied physically a lot when I was younger--even by my own siblings. Ah... the day when I decided enough was enough was honestly a pivotal. I literally decided that I wouldn't take it laying down anymore and the first person someone would hit me would bring upon a time where they would think twice about it. Lost some of those fights, won even more but eventually people stopped trying to physically hit me and start being a bit afraid of me. (I don't LIKE people being afraid of me. But if that's what it takes to avoid a fight altogether and not HAVE to hurt someone, I'd rather intimidate them.) Then they moved onto verbal warfare...

I just ignored them. Compared to being punched, kicked, hit with chairs or slammed into walls it's nothing. So they call me a name--so what? I know what I am and what I am not. I just walk away or if it's the internet, I'd add them to my blacklist or block them. Instant easier life. That being said, it's never easy when you live with a bully. They're there day and night and getting away from that difficult as it was with my brother. But you shouldn't go out of your way to confront a bully either way.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

Oh man. I remember elementary school. The class bully was the principle's son. And he didn't like me very much. But i wasn't one for getting punched without punching back. Lots of fights on my 3rd grade record, let me tell ya'.
I know its harsh and anecdotal, but I remember when being bullied implied a bloody lip, or a black eye or scrapped knuckles. Not simply hurt feelings. Getting called names by that kid was considered a good day. That was easy; just don't listen. Even if he called me a poopbutt! Just ignore him and go back to playing the Pokemon card game.
But actually getting into a fight? That was bullying! That was serious! On recess he went into my backpack, found my deck and on the playground tore my shiny Charizard in half.
Honestly, its a miracle we didn't kill each other.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I remember high school, yes. -_-

I'm fortunate that I avoided most physical abuse, since my bullies knew they could potentially get in trouble if they left any marks. Still, they found every excuse they could to hit me (there's a reason they turned all touch-football into tackle-football whenever the teacher looked away), and found other ways to humiliate, degrade, and mock me.

I'm still messed up in some parts of my psyche today.

I hate bullies with a burning passion. Bullies of all kinds. That's why I don't tolerate bullies in games I play.

But you know what I hate more? Bullying APOLOGISTS. People who say that bullying isn't a big deal, that it "builds character", that trying to prevent bullying creates a society of victims, or other social darwinist crap. Those people I hate with the fire of a thousand suns. They make my blood boil. And there's always at least one that crops up in any bullying discussion.

*deep breath* I need to head this off before I build up steam and go off on a rant.

 

[FPLOON]

I still remember the times I was bullied (both physically and verbally) as well as being the bully (mainly physical, because I was never good at the verbal aspects of bullying), so I can't say it has always been about the physical more than anything else... I mean, I can only count about 4 times I've actually been in a fight (that wasn't just me getting my ass kicked or me literally kicking someone in the ass) because of bullying, in particular, and I seem to remember those moments a lot more than the verbal bullying moments, since at the time, I was already making myself the class clown in both elementary and parts of middle school... You start making fun of me or start calling me names, I'll just joke it off like "it ain't no thang" until someone throws the first punch (or kick) and the rest usually follows with me getting in trouble and the "bully" (if there was one [that wasn't me, in particular]) getting off scot-free for the day... unless I got involve in a bully-vs-victim scenario with me "trying" to stop it from escalating, then I get thrown under the bus by both parties when the teacher(s) asked what happened...

Anyway, bullying is either physical and/or verbal... Physical assault doesn't happen all the time, in terms of the standard bullying, but it could lead to it given the situation... unless they're like me back then and just skipped to the physical harm... (Man, I was sometimes an asshole back in the day...)

 

[timeformime]

I don't think bullying is totally normal and OK, or just something kids do. It's a symptom of a serious problem. Some of it's really dumb, laughable stuff, and some of it is seriously harmful. How much damage it does depends on the situation.

But it's never going to stop happening, sort of like there will always be third world countries, war, and crime. Trying to "stop bullying" is just something teachers have to do day to day like they always have. The fact that bullying means physical assault less and less probably is because more and more of our lives are online. It seems like a natural progression that bullying would go from nasty words in person to nasty words posted on someone's Facebook or whatever, but the words themselves probably haven't changed that much.

 

[game-lover]

I'll say yes to both.

Growing up with the Simpsons and similar shows, I was aware even then. The getting shoved in lockers, trash cans, wedgies, swirlies... But in a sense, I think it's like the way people look at assault in general. It's something that happens to other people.

At least when I was in elementary school. I don't remember everything clear but the gist stays with me. I figure they could have been possible bullying attempts that didn't go well or last long because of my reaction.

There was a girl who knocked some books out of my hands when I was reading. I yelled that my mother claimed books were important and launched myself at her. I have long nails. Did then too and slashed her up some. There was another girl who yanked my glasses off and stomped them. I did cry a little and when she found me later, she apparently felt bad and apologized and we got friendly. And a boy who messed with me for a while and we scuffled some. I was a bit taller so I remember pinning him against a wall as he threw those fake wood chips at me from our playground. I felt guilty and actually went to apologize the next day and he was still as hostile as ever so we just avoided each other.

Middle school was just two incidents. First was a girl in dance class who kept pulling my hair. Just pulling my hair all the damn time for no apparent reason. One day, I finally opted to attack. It didn't go well for me as it was embarrassingly quick. I'm a much better fighter now than I was then. But she never messed with me again. Not sure if she got kicked out or something. And then there were two boys hassling me. The most physical thing I recall is them breaking a bunch of styrofoam blocks over my head so it got in my hair. But that was only that one day at lunch. Never happened again.

I found out a year later that I was targeted in my 6th grade year by a bunch of girls who saw me being by myself a lot and thought I was weird. Spreading a rumor or two. Planning to basically jump me/beat me up altogether. But I had cousins at the school at the same time so they pretty much ran interference and watched my back while I was pretty much oblivious the entire time.

High school... high school was pretty much uneventful. The most interesting thing that happened was I accidentally hit this guy in the eye and in retaliation, he tore up some game cards that someone had given me in spite of the fact that I apologized. Then he apologized later but I didn't speak to him for a while. Nothing else really comes to mind.

 

[SmallHatLogan]

Just for some context that may or may not be relevant, I'm 27 and throughout my life went to five different schools in small towns in Australia and New Zealand. I honestly can't recall ever witnessing or even hearing about physical bullying at any of my schools apart from the occasional shoving in the hallways. Most bullying just consisted of people being exclusionary arseholes. The "nerdy" kids were generally left to their own devices for the most part. Sure there were fights (although even they were rare) but it was usually something stemming from an argument as opposed to being a bully and their victim.