- Mar 17, 2012
- 5,950
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- United States
[img_inline caption="If you masturbate to this, Chris Metzen will castrate you in your sleep" align='right' src=http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/yhIAAOSwRQlXczcX/s-l300.jpg' width='300' height='300' img_source='' source_site='']
Rule 34 has become Error 404 for many Battle.net accounts today as Blizzard has started a banning spree of Overwatch players for pleasuring themselves to naked pictures of their respective waifus. This was happening as the new patch rolled out, removing many of the more provocative poses, taunts and voice lines and replacing them with puritan propaganda.
"Hands that jerk it to our female protagonists are fingers that shall not play our games. We're working with Google to trace the IP of those who browse 4chan porn threads and ban them from our servers. We want a pure fanbase that only believes in consensual procreation for the survival of the Arya- I mean, human race. We want to continue to make Overwatch the game for competive multiplayer but I just get a chill up my spine knowing someone is degrading the purity of the female form," said Blizzard CEO Michael Morhaime.
"I really just want to find the fuckers that make this kind of filth and beat the crap out of them. I could take on four or five of them at once, they're all out of shape losers. They're the kind of nerds who ***** about GamerGate on Twitter while having anime avatars and probably have never talked to woman without one degrading comment. I wish, no, I WISH that they would all DISAPPEAR, FOREVER!" said former Creative Director Chris Metzen.
While Blizzard can do what it wants because they'll kill of World of Warcraft if angered, banning 99% of the playerbase seems a tad extreme in the quest for sexual purity. Hopefully, this new direction will lead to even more degrading sexual content that can only be found on the deep web.
-TACO News: His waifu was the lesbian one
Rule 34 has become Error 404 for many Battle.net accounts today as Blizzard has started a banning spree of Overwatch players for pleasuring themselves to naked pictures of their respective waifus. This was happening as the new patch rolled out, removing many of the more provocative poses, taunts and voice lines and replacing them with puritan propaganda.
"Hands that jerk it to our female protagonists are fingers that shall not play our games. We're working with Google to trace the IP of those who browse 4chan porn threads and ban them from our servers. We want a pure fanbase that only believes in consensual procreation for the survival of the Arya- I mean, human race. We want to continue to make Overwatch the game for competive multiplayer but I just get a chill up my spine knowing someone is degrading the purity of the female form," said Blizzard CEO Michael Morhaime.
"I really just want to find the fuckers that make this kind of filth and beat the crap out of them. I could take on four or five of them at once, they're all out of shape losers. They're the kind of nerds who ***** about GamerGate on Twitter while having anime avatars and probably have never talked to woman without one degrading comment. I wish, no, I WISH that they would all DISAPPEAR, FOREVER!" said former Creative Director Chris Metzen.
While Blizzard can do what it wants because they'll kill of World of Warcraft if angered, banning 99% of the playerbase seems a tad extreme in the quest for sexual purity. Hopefully, this new direction will lead to even more degrading sexual content that can only be found on the deep web.
-TACO News: His waifu was the lesbian one
