REPORT: "Game Length = Dick Length" says The Order: 1886 Developer

Odbarc

Elite Member
Jun 30, 2010
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Game Length isn't really a worthwhile singular goal a game should have.
There are plenty enough games that are short but good because they're replayable.
How long does it take to beat Super Mario Kart? Like, 15 minutes per circuit. How much time do you spend playing it? Years.
For some games, if single play through is the main goal of the game, length to keep the game interesting may come into play. Skyrim for example isn't particularly interesting in terms of combat. A lot of quests are fetch, kill one thing, find one thing, talk to one person, ect. but there's like 1000 of them. I put in only 300 hours and if the game ended in just 10 hours of playing, I'd have only played like two times.

I don't personally complain about the length of games. I would argue that's merely something people complain about because they don't really understand what they want or how to ask for it. Games can lack sufficient content. Day 1 DLC is not the answer there. It feels a lot like clipping existing content.

If developers are designing the games around "Let's make the game X amount of hours long." they're doing it wrong.
The business model of making customers pay $80 with another $40 in DLC exists because people are paying it. If you have the time, energy and money to buy a new game every week with a full time job you may only want a 6~8 hour experience so you can do the next thing.
I personally prefer games like Diablo where I can play it for months and years.
 

Grimh

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Feb 11, 2009
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The funniest part about this REPORT is that people think it's a joke.

PsychicTaco is one of the few true real legit journalists we have left in this industry.
He is my number one source for news and info, after Play4Real of course.

I feel kinda embarrassed for you guys honestly.
 

JustAnotherAardvark

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Feb 19, 2015
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Barbas said:
I have it on good authority that there will in fact be mousse.
Canned. You were warned.

Azure23 said:
I encourage everyone who has not yet played it to pick up a used copy when you can and experience it, it's worth it.
Are you familiar with the expression, "Damning with faint praise." ?
 

Mutant1988

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Sep 9, 2013
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JustAnotherAardvark said:
Barbas said:
I have it on good authority that there will in fact be mousse.
Canned. You were warned.

Azure23 said:
I encourage everyone who has not yet played it to pick up a used copy when you can and experience it, it's worth it.
Are you familiar with the expression, "Damning with faint praise." ?
I say, if you want to promote the game, do ANYTHING but suggest people to buy a used copy.

Wait for it to drop in price, then buy it.

Used copies benefits no one but the retailer. The developer and publisher don't get fuck all for that.
 

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
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Mar 17, 2012
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Grimh said:
PsychicTaco is one of the few true real legit journalists we have left in this industry.
He is my number one source for news and info, after Play4Real of course.
Comments like this are always really nice to see <3
Grouchy Imp said:
I'd caution naysayers that whilst The Order: 1886 may only look like a three hour game it will grow on you.
You have to allow a good chunk of foreplay to happen to get the most out of it
SidheKnight said:
REPORT: "The Order: 1886 Developer = Idiot" says Escapist forum commenter
I can't help that they say stupid things but I sure can capitalize on it! :D
 

SidheKnight

New member
Nov 28, 2011
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PsychicTaco115 said:
Grimh said:
PsychicTaco is one of the few true real legit journalists we have left in this industry.
He is my number one source for news and info, after Play4Real of course.
Comments like this are always really nice to see <3
Grouchy Imp said:
I'd caution naysayers that whilst The Order: 1886 may only look like a three hour game it will grow on you.
You have to allow a good chunk of foreplay to happen to get the most out of it
SidheKnight said:
REPORT: "The Order: 1886 Developer = Idiot" says Escapist forum commenter
I can't help that they say stupid things but I sure can capitalize on it! :D
I actually commented without reading the "news", I thought it was something serious, hehe.
 

Qizx

Executor
Feb 21, 2011
458
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Mutant1988 said:
The general education has failed you if you can't confirm sources or recognize satire.

I mean, come on.
The biggest issue is that this is something a AAA developer WOULD say, so it isn't that wildly outlandish... Ok some parts but come on, I've heard stupider stuff.
 

Pr0

New member
Feb 20, 2008
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According to this article analogy, Notch has the biggest dick ever seen in the gaming industry. And I'm apparently a huge slut for anything produced by Bethesda.

Perhaps I lack testicular fortitude to resist such big huge dicks?
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
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Caiphus said:
So presumably everyone stays away from Bethesda in the locker room.
I wouldn't worry all that much... I mean, something it just bugs out and you end up not feeling it after all...
Evonisia said:
I just realised that the newest Rayman games have a good length for kids, and I want to burn myself at the stake for it. No, I shall burn the developer for giving the comparison!
But those games give the kids the experience of firmly grasping the length head-on, thus preparing them for the time they want to try something with a bit more of a bigger budget, per se... Sure, there may be times where they finish all in one go, but not everyone can stay fully stimulated for the long ride, mind you...

OT: Jeez, Dev... That must mean that I like my dicks like I love my gameplay... Long enough for me to feel satisfied and, quite possibly, immobile for quite some time afterwards... I mean, I have to let it all seek in eventually instead of keeping it all pent up for far too long...