Research Warns of Crazy, Computer-Eating Ant Invasion

[lacktheknack]

At least they're easy to kill... bundle low-value resistors in a ball and twist the leads together (so that chewing through any given wire doesn't stop the circuit, run a few hundred milliamps and a few volts through it, drop it near an infestation, and go grab the vacuum.

I imagine "Crazy Ant Killer" devices will be on sale shortly.

 

[vun]

The antpocalypse is coming.


... Sorry.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

hot snip

I'm with this guy, there is no creature on this earth that is resistant to either fire or buckshot, preferably in combined fashion.
And since they're ants, mostly fire.

The Netherlands don't really have any dangerous animals besides the one's we import, our most pesky natives are wasps (which are also very easily disposed with fire) and the most dangerous would be a rare breed of poisonous snake, and not because of it's poison but because of it's fangs.

 

[Colt47]

If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Alternatively, we can use a more traditional method. What you need to do is get some gasoline, pour it down any existing colony's and then set the fucking thing alight.

In other words:

Dangerous? Well, yeah, but i can't name a single creature off the top of my head that would survive a purge by fire.

1. They don't make colonies like traditional ants. They make hundreds of nests under any kind of bush, leaf, tree, rock, or even your own bed.

2. You could burn the entire house down along with the infested lot, and somewhere out there in the nearby hills there is a colony that within a month will have repopulated the now burned down lot. People actually tried to kill them with fire and failed. =(

 

[Doom972]

It's a conspiracy to get us all to use Tablets instead!

I hope they stay where they are, or preferably go extinct at some point.

 

[Moontouched-Moogle]

Shit, now I'm really paranoid about those stray red ants I've noticed every now and then in my school's Video Tech room. I always figured they were just fire ants attracted by crumbs from food that people weren't supposed to be eating in there but ate anyway.

 

[CyberMachinist]

Hopefully in the next few years one of the local animals that feed on insects develops a taste for crazy-ant and keeps them under control, or we can just kill them with something like say...... a sound-wave projector that uses a certain wave frequency to kill them all? (hopefully they won't start feeding off gunpowder and become explosive when exposed to fire)

If we are overrun by them then i would like to say....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKbFb6TPVEA

 

[Kopikatsu]

So what is this, Evolution vs. Humanity?

Where is your God now?

 

[Quazimofo]

If they're resistant to traditional insecticides, maybe they can wipe out the colony by taunting it with a live wire. I'm sure we can find plenty of electricity for all the ants that want to come chow down.

Alternatively, we can use a more traditional method. What you need to do is get some gasoline, pour it down any existing colony's and then set the fucking thing alight.

In other words:

Dangerous? Well, yeah, but i can't name a single creature off the top of my head that would survive a purge by fire.

Fun fact: There are some plant species native to the chaparral biome (mediterranean area) that have seeds which only crack and allow the sapling to begin to grow when exposed to great heat. Thus, you cannot wipe them out with fire, but only birth more.

But yeah, I'm going to go with everyone else here and say if they like to commit suicide on wires, let's give them some electrified trip wires to kamikazee.
I wonder how they got so resistant to pesticides in the first place though. Some of those are pretty nasty.

 

[PoolCleaningRobot]

Well, looks like Americans are no longer at the top of the food chain. It's been a good run, hopefully I can emigrate to Canada before the ants get to my computer.

Agreed. Time to leave America. I'm going to the UK where its always cold and rainy, just the way I like it

On topic, if they don't bite like fire ants other animals might find a taste for them. I say we release thousands of ant-eaters into the wild and hope this problem solves itself

 

[Pebkio]

My only hope is that they can't survive at high altitudes or in cold weather. I mean, it's kept me safe from ticks...

 

[piinyouri]

I get so pissed off inside every time I hear of another new, non-native invasive species fucking things up here.
America, when the FUCK are you going to learn not to FUCK with nature?

 

[Roxas1359]

Something's telling me that this man's great great great grandfather/grandmother had something to do with this:

Dammit Lesko family! Stop messing with the ants! >.<

On the bright side it's a good thing they aren't around in California for now. Too bad we've got those damn Army Ants to deal with.

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

You know, I was in a pretty good mood today, depressing Denis Dyack-related drama [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/124161-Denis-Dyack-Apologizes-for-X-Men-Destiny] aside. Why? Because I just ended my sophomore year at NYU earlier today, and I'm leaving to spend the rest of my summer back home in Tennessee tomorrow.

Spoiler: And then I learned that an entire previously unknown species of invasive, computer-eating insects with no natural predators is advancing upward through the American South as we speak. So, you know, thanks for that.

According to a recent paper from researchers at the Texas invasive species research program at the Brackenridge Field Laboratory in the College of Natural Sciences, the ant has since spread to 21 counties in Texas and 20 counties in Florida. They've also been spotted south of the Mississippi and in Southern Louisiana.

I say we take off and nuke the entire South from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

 

[unstabLized]

NOOOOOOOOO!!! THE PORN!!! SOMEBODY SAVE ALL THE PORN!!!!! THIS IS A DISASTER!!! *Takes hard drive and runs*

 

[ExtraDebit]

We already electrify mosquitoes and flys, all we gotta do is make a new death machine for the little fuckers and let them fry themselves.

Or we can import some of their predetors from brazil and let nature balance out itself.

Honestly these crazy ants sounds a lot like human behaviors.

 

[TrulyBritish]

hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

 

[shrekfan246]

hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

OT: As long as they don't come all the way up north to Vermont...

Though my brother does live in Florida.

What a quandary.

All I know is, I'd freak out if I saw a nest of these bastards hiding under my bed one day, waiting to chew through me electronics.

 

[Doneeee]

Fuck those fucking ants! Jesus, I'm already in the hot-zone, I'm scared!

 

[TrulyBritish]

hmm... who got hold my lab subjects and set them free?.....

So you are the insidious fiend who created these pests? I had just invented my "Red-ant-controlling-helmet....inator" and now it is useless!
Curses! FOILED AGAIN!

OT: As long as they don't come all the way up north to Vermont...

Though my brother does live in Florida.

What a quandary.

All I know is, I'd freak out if I saw a nest of these bastards hiding under my bed one day, waiting to chew through me electronics.

Hey, where'd you find that pic of me?!
Mind you, one good thing comes out of this... at least the machines won't be rising up in America anytime soon.
Capthca: "hello, world"
Oh bugger, they've gotten into the internet already!