Wow, this game which I utilise as a realistic simulation of real life events and consequences is showing me that if I smoke prohibited substances, some magic unseen number determining my maturity in real life will raise by several points! I should most definately try to acquire some of these "drugs" tomorrow, as then I will become a better person!
Oh my, the simulation-and-certainly-not-a-probably-pointless-gameplay-feature now seems to be implying that my character is having intercourse with a preprogrammed cluster of pixels in the shape of a promiscuous woman. I believe it is telling me, by extension, that I should now go and rape lots of women.
Hot diggity, I'm sure glad I have video games here to tell me how to life my life properly, because otherwise I would surely die and be forced to return to my last checkpoint! [/sarcasm]
Honestly Mr. Atkinson, grow up.