Romance

[Pyotr Romanov]

Good afternoon, escapists.

I am sort of a romantic; in the sense that I love romance anime and manga, and I have a tendency to fall into a state of daydreaming, often about romance. I think I would really like to experience it sometime.

Spoiler: Spoilered to keep my post neat

Now here's the thing: I am sort of a cynic, and can not realisticly see my self falling in love, at least not any time soon. In addition, upon further exploring the issue of love, I can not imagine I would ever be able to sustain a romantic relationship. I am afraid all the input of the unconditional undying love of romance fiction has heightened my expectations to an unrealistic level, and ruined me for ever having a proper relationship.

From what I can see, it looks like at my age (16) you're supposed to get a girfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend, and maybe fall in love later. Is this really how the world works

Apparently I am also lodged in the middle of this thing called puberty that is supposed to impair my judgement, although it doesn't seem like it...

So, how are you escapists on the topic of romance?

As for me, it would seem I am only able to fall in love with figments of my imagination for now.

Hey, umm... Are you me?

I mean, seriously, I've always been bugged by exactly the same thing. I even got to the point of thinking that I might subconsciously be searching for something I don't have by watching/reading romance anime, manga, movies and books...

And then I have this friend who's person he likes changes every other month...

The funny thing is that I'm the go-to guy for relationship issues in my group of friends.

 

[Nooners]

Dude, you're 16. I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was 19, so don't worry. Someone out there will be perfect for you, it's probably just best to not stress over it.

 

[Jonluw]

EDIT: I would've make a joke about my right hand, but that seemed in bad taste for this thread.

Nono, by all means. I considered doing so my self.

 

[Jonluw]

Ok, sorry for not replying, I had to go out shopping with my mom and sister. I'll try to get around to replying to people.
Edit: I'm also happy to see there are more people like me around.

 

[Hashime]

Good afternoon, escapists.

I am sort of a romantic; in the sense that I love romance anime and manga, and I have a tendency to fall into a state of daydreaming, often about romance. I think I would really like to experience it sometime.

Spoiler: Spoilered to keep my post neat

Now here's the thing: I am sort of a cynic, and can not realisticly see my self falling in love, at least not any time soon. In addition, upon further exploring the issue of love, I can not imagine I would ever be able to sustain a romantic relationship. I am afraid all the input of the unconditional undying love of romance fiction has heightened my expectations to an unrealistic level, and ruined me for ever having a proper relationship.

From what I can see, it looks like at my age (16) you're supposed to get a girfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend, and maybe fall in love later. Is this really how the world works

Apparently I am also lodged in the middle of this thing called puberty that is supposed to impair my judgement, although it doesn't seem like it...

So, how are you escapists on the topic of romance?

As for me, it would seem I am only able to fall in love with figments of my imagination for now.

The same as you minus the figments part. I do not understand nor aspire to understand this part of the human experience.

 

[Kathinka]

Good afternoon, escapists.

I am sort of a romantic; in the sense that I love romance anime and manga, and I have a tendency to fall into a state of daydreaming, often about romance. I think I would really like to experience it sometime.

Spoiler: Spoilered to keep my post neat

Now here's the thing: I am sort of a cynic, and can not realisticly see my self falling in love, at least not any time soon. In addition, upon further exploring the issue of love, I can not imagine I would ever be able to sustain a romantic relationship. I am afraid all the input of the unconditional undying love of romance fiction has heightened my expectations to an unrealistic level, and ruined me for ever having a proper relationship.

From what I can see, it looks like at my age (16) you're supposed to get a girfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend, and maybe fall in love later. Is this really how the world works

Apparently I am also lodged in the middle of this thing called puberty that is supposed to impair my judgement, although it doesn't seem like it...

So, how are you escapists on the topic of romance?

As for me, it would seem I am only able to fall in love with figments of my imagination for now.

That's definitely NOT how it works. It might be for some people, but everyone is different. You should follow your own desires on that one, rather then observing people around you. If you want to get a girlfriend, get one because you want to be with someone. Falling in love, if it happens at that age, I hope it's actual love and not something like puppy love, because many teenagers say their in love at that age, and when they break up it's gone within weeks. Frankly it makes no sense to me, but people make their own choices and thoughts on love so I'm not going to tell them if that's right or wrong. Just doesn't click in my head logically.

In my opinion, do what you want. High standards aside, maybe you will find someone who is just like you, and also has high standards? What would happen then you think?

completely OT but:

you made 3500 fuckmothering posts since mid april?!? sweet ninja jesus!

 

[DarkPanda XIII]

In reality? Never believe that you'll fall in love at 16, mostly because of your age, and everything. I had one major girlfriend that lasted about as long as six monthes during that age, and after that, really just found myself going to school, trying to focus on that....seven years later I'm still trying to find 'luv', but honestly know what I should expect, and what I want to do...

Get to know them, and I mean really know them, get somebody to talk about their job, and if you can handle hearing it over, and over, and over again, then stick with them. Marriage is rather pointless unless you can live with the person for years on end, and understand change is inevitable. Once you can adapt, and if the girl sticks with you through all the oddities and grime, then she's for you n.n;;.

Just think about it this way, despite popular belief, we humans live a long fricken time now, and can survive through alot, with only a handful of things that can kill us. Take your fricken time.....only time when love at 15 was honest and true was during the middle ages when we only lived for like 30 years.

 

[albinoterrorist]

Good afternoon, escapists.

I am sort of a romantic; in the sense that I love romance anime and manga, and I have a tendency to fall into a state of daydreaming, often about romance. I think I would really like to experience it sometime.

Spoiler: Spoilered to keep my post neat

Now here's the thing: I am sort of a cynic, and can not realisticly see my self falling in love, at least not any time soon. In addition, upon further exploring the issue of love, I can not imagine I would ever be able to sustain a romantic relationship. I am afraid all the input of the unconditional undying love of romance fiction has heightened my expectations to an unrealistic level, and ruined me for ever having a proper relationship.

From what I can see, it looks like at my age (16) you're supposed to get a girfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend, and maybe fall in love later. Is this really how the world works

Apparently I am also lodged in the middle of this thing called puberty that is supposed to impair my judgement, although it doesn't seem like it...

So, how are you escapists on the topic of romance?

As for me, it would seem I am only able to fall in love with figments of my imagination for now.

17 here. Unsocial pretty much all my life. Never really go out. Have few friends.

Heck, just last year i'd pretty much given up on the notion of ever meeting anyone I really cared about.

But, let me tell you now from personal experience, there IS someone out there for you. Chances are decent (not high, but decent) that'll you'll eventually meet them.

You won't be able to escape it. It won't happen instantly, it may take as long as a month for your feelings to develop. However, when they do, they'll hit with the force of a trainload of bricks.

In conclusion, OP, don't give up. You'll meet someone.

Just pray you have more luck than me and that they actually feel the same about you!

 

[leviathanmisha]

I would like to point out that I'm going to brag here for a second and admit that I'm one of the few teenagers that found love in high school. Now, for the topic at hand.

Don't expect love at your age. If you want a date a girl, go for it, but keep love out of it. I didn't tell my first boyfriend that I loved him, granted we were in the 8th grade and I didn't actually give a crap about romance, but the point of the matter is that if you go around telling every girl you date that you love them, the words lose their importance. I've only told one of my boyfriends that I love him and we're still together to this day. Would you call him my first love? No clue, I thought I might have loved one of my ex's, but turns out I was wrong.

Love is fickle, it'll hit you when you least expect it and sometimes all the mushy lovey-dovey crap does come attached, but it's those things that you look forward to and they make you smile. Just try to live life, I would say at your age, if you experience love, then you are lucky and if you don't, you aren't missing out on anything.

 

[Jonluw]

When your 16, more or less.... Generally it's the cool kids whom get the girlfriends because: a)The girls like them because they're cool and have social status
b)For the reasons stated in a, the cool kids have confidence.

I'm not particularly unconfident. As a matter of fact I would say I am quite confident. You see, during grades 8 through 10 I was at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Due to this, probably, I have developed some antisocial tendencies. But in Norway we have a system in which we go on to a different school after grade 10. The school I entered had quite high acceptance requirements, and therefore I suddenly found my self in a world of people who were actually quite pleasant (for people, that is. I still don't enjoy spending time with them.)

So, "real" relationships can happen to teenagers, but most relationships when your 16 will just involve dating for a month or so before something happens and they split. Unless your a cool kid, it's probably not worth worrying about when your 16.

When you get older though, people get more mature, and it's around the 17-18 mark that relationships tend to become more genuine. Rather than going out with someone because they're cool or fit or you fancy them, people can start to choose relationships on the basis if they feel truely compatable with that person, and grow to develop "fond" feelings about their personality and the way they are etc, evolving into a state of a "love."

That's also part of it. Why should I bother dating just for the sake of experience? Hopefully, if I fall in love, it will be with a girl who does not care about how experienced I am.

My advise is to continue to be scepical about fictional romance, thats a great start, take things easy and don't worry about girlfriends and whatnot for now.

Sure, I am sceptical of fictional romance, and I know that's good, but it worries me somewhat that I find reading romantic manga more fulfilling than actually pursuing a real relationship...

Edit: Hey, look! A hundred posts!

 

[Rakkana]

I can be romantic but I refuse to make it cheesy.

 

[Jonluw]

I can be romantic but I refuse to make it cheesy.

Does that mean you don't like cheesy romance stories, because I love those.

 

[Rakkana]

I can be romantic but I refuse to make it cheesy.

Does that mean you don't like cheesy romance stories, because I love those.

I don't mind other people doing it. Although there is a limit.

 

[Jonluw]

In my opinion, do what you want. High standards aside, maybe you will find someone who is just like you, and also has high standards? What would happen then you think?

If I am to be realistic? With the mindset I am in right now, I don't think I could handle all the hassle of being in a relationship, and would probably screw it up after a while. Unless she is the type who is okay with not hanging out all the time... Wait, I think I might actually react to that with becoming clingy.

After some digging in my own psyche, it would seem I am either too lazy to be in a relationship, or simply not wired for it at the moment.

 

[Jonluw]

Does that mean you don't like cheesy romance stories, because I love those.

I don't mind other people doing it. Although there is a limit.

So, you're one of those people that hate it when other people are holding hands/making out in public?

 

[Rakkana]

Does that mean you don't like cheesy romance stories, because I love those.

I don't mind other people doing it. Although there is a limit.

So, you're one of those people that hate it when other people are holding hands/making out in public?

Again there's a limit. Which most couples don't seem to grasp.

 

[Jonluw]

I effing love romance. Especially the heartfelt anime tales. I even made a thread you might be interested in:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.198957-Romantic-experiences-to-share-Real-life-or-fictional-are-welcome
So, yeah, welcome to the Escapist!

Oh my god! I read your OP and yes: someone else who knows their Donald Duck/Scrooge mcDuck. Is there a group for us or something?

 

[A_Parked_Car]

I'm in love with a girl I can never have. I don't want to be, but who you fall in love with isn't a decision that you get to make.

I don't understand love and it is something that I don't believe can really fully be understood. All I know is that it makes me a rather miserable person to think about it for too long.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

When I was 16 I was in the worst relationship of my whole life. Its better to wait for something amazing than to be with someone you dont care about. Its ok that you are worried about sustaining a relationship, even people who are in relationships worry about this! Love comes at different times for everyone, but dating shouldnt be something major to worry about, its supposed to be fun! Yeah you might make mistakes, or get hurt, but thats part of life and everyone at some point in their life will experience this.

I'm 21 and after having 2 previous relationships which almost completely destroyed my belief that I would ever find true love, I finally found the person who I've been waiting for.

My belief is that things happen when you least expect them to, so dont focus on finding a relationship, just have fun and be yourself..and trust that things will fall into place by themselves.

 

[iwarboY]

romance is great on paper and films, but on film they never show betrayal . oops, actually, they do.

i personally have issues with real life romance, but if you happen to find that charming beautiful honest loyal one( and i believe soo few actually exist )then hold fast.
the film and anime are cool though ^ ^