Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the night has now been stopped.

I wish for the best Christmas lights in Australia.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but they draw too much power and take out the grid for your area. Way to go.

I wish for less snow.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you get an entire glacier worth of snow dropped upon your house trapping you inside.

I wish for another great Captain America movie.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, it is the best movie ever made, but it is 2 minutes long.

I wish I had more money.

 

[MrCollins]

You have more money, but it increases at exactly the same rate as inflation.

I wish I was better looking

 

[BearMinerals]

You're better looking, but it's hidden by a horrible beard.

I wish I didn't have to drive 45 minutes to see The Hobbit in IMAX.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, the only Imax theater on the planet is now on Hawaii. Here is a row boat!

I wish I was God.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but no one believes in you.

I wish for no more hangovers.

 

[Ruedyn]

Sure, now alcohol physically hurts you.

I wish for a harem of female sexbots.

 

[Frission]

/ninja'ed

Granted. They also work as kitchen blenders. Think about that for a minute.

I wish everyone in this thread got what they really wanted.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted. Let's just say it doesn't end well for you... [small] You die a lot... [/small]

I wish for less cryptic answers.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but this answer is very disappointing.

I wish for a day off work.

 

[Frission]

Granted. You're fired. Did you expect any other outcome?

I wish that I could save and reload in real life.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you ruin your keyboards and break your pens and pencils with astonishing regularity.

I wish for a goldfish.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, it takes over your mind and RULES THE WORLD.

I wish for less captcha.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, captcha is removed and spambots plague the Escapist.

I wish for a full night of sleep.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted, you had all five minutes of sleep near the North Pole as the sun went down for the last time for the next five months.

I wish for a fish.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted here is a red one and a blue one.

I wish for a beer.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Welcome to Mars! You brought a space suit, right?

I wish this wish will not be granted!

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, your wish would've gotten you everything you've ever wanted.

I wish for Spotify.