Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted.

I wish people didn't get drunk today.

 

[SamtheDeathclaw]

Granted, instead they get jacked up on meth.

I wish it was March already.

 

[Kae]

Granted you wake up and it's March already, but you find out that you were in a coma and both of your arms and your left leg are gone now.

I wish to have four fully functional arms.

 

[ACBlackJ0ck]

Granted but you can't control the other 2 and they start punching you

I wish I wasn't easily distracted

 

[SamtheDeathclaw]

Granted! You dance so well you're given your own television show! Which then attracts a stalker who kills, dismembers, and eats you, not necessarily in that order.

I wish I could fly.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Granted

I wish I was able to fly under my own power, without the support of any other objects.

 

[username sucks]

Granted, you can now successfully make some haggis. And only haggis.

Spoiler: Doesn't it look delicious?

I wish for the ability to stop procrastinating.

 

[NoOne852]

I will grant it when I feel like doing so.

I wish for another wish.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Granted.

I wish for more original wishes.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted wishes up until this point haven't been thought of yet so that last wish was hilarious.

I wish cricket was the worlds most popular sport.

 

[Scde2]

Granted. It will be popular as soon as it gets mildly interesting!

I wish that I was a moderator for this site.

 

[MrCollins]

Granted, bt not only are you the most hated nodon the site, but you start with limited mod powers, you can only ;od in religion and politics. Have Fun.

I wish for better tv shows

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but I hope you know Hungarian.

I wish for FREEDOM

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but your sworn duty is to deprive others of their freedom as penance.

I wish for more conventions closer to my area!

 

[WhyBotherToTry]

Granted. There are now conventions every weekend, but they are all about the cultural importance of styrofoam.
I wish I had better music on my ipod.

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but you now own an ipineapple. Which is silly because you can't listen to music on an ipineapple!

I wish that I can take and pass a bar exam already.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. It should pass through your digestive track by tomorrow.

I wish to be forever clean!

 

[Fractral]

Granted. In order to achieve this, you are tied down in a perfectly clean room and sprayed with hoses on full power from now until the end of time.

I wish for more brains.

 

[NoOne852]

Granted. But you only get more when someone know you dies.

I wish, I wish, I was a fish

 

[Scde2]

Granted, but you have no gills.

I wish for Dr.Susse to grant this wish.