Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Simone of Epica]

(But no slave Leia bikini for you)

Granted, but the tacos are bland as heck.

I wish for Coke and rum.

 

[reg42]

Granted, though its stolen from Colombia's chief cartel - and they want it back.

I wish my door would stop rattling.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's been removed and not replaced

I wish I had a room full of mythical treasures and relics

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. They are all cursed.

I wish I had a fantastic collection of mythical creatures.

 

[Simone of Epica]

Granted. They are the size of electrons.

I wish I lived in a castle in Romania.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. Dracula throws you out and blankets the land in terror and darkness like the world has never seen before.

I wish real life had cheat codes.

 

[Simone of Epica]

(Nooo, Gary Oldman! I thought what we had was special!)

Granted. But the entry pad is somewhere on Mars.

I wish mankind had a Mars colony already.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's a hell-hole (I want planetary colonies, too)

I wish everything was brilliant

 

[Simone of Epica]

Granted, but your preferences immediately shift so that everything suddenly isn't brilliant.

I wish for a bottle of 500 mg vicodin.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it filled with my [salty] backwash... Yum!

I wish I could make it rain on them holes!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. It is acid rain.

I wish it would be proven beyond any doubt one way or the other, whether or not god exists.

 

[Simone of Epica]

Granted. God exists, but abandoned us ages ago.

I wish for the technological singularity.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's more paper-thin than the weekday newspaper...

I wish I saw the director's cut of The Crow!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. It is awful.

I wish we had cybernetic enhancement technology, and I was the first candidate.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you're recycled into a coffee machine

I wish I lived in a palace on Mount Olympus

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, Hercules will "accidentally" destroy it...

I wish you'd stop breathing down my neck, Janice!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. Janice is now breathing down your pants.

I wish I had superpowers.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can't control them fast enough to not kill yourself in the process...

I wish I could crack that whip!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it hits you in the face

I wish I could have Tacos for breakfast

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it greatly offends Psychic Taco and his girlfriend... and you don't want to offend Taco's girlfriend...

I wish I was a Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle!