Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

It takes a bit of your energy to heal.

I wish to fight for Freedom, Justice and Profit.

 

[UltraDeth]

All wars are fought with rocks and blades.

I wish there was no development hell.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. It's limbo instead.

I wish I had a puppy.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It works out about as well as the couple in Gone Girl, "happy" ending and all.

see now that is a much better way to ruin that kind of wish. bravo.

anyways back on subject:

Granted. your mom is now feeding stray coyotes instead.

I wish life was like a video game.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. everything else about it becomes dramatically worse, and Robin Williams is never in it.

I wish at a concert with the entire world watching, Taylor Swift shows up high as a kite, falling down drunk, and proceeds to piss and **** herself in front of the entire world.

 

[UltraDeth]

Now they're bare bones survival games.

I wish reaction videos were rightfully disliked and forgotten.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the Fine Bros. react to this and are still beloved by such a reaction! Fucking immunity!!

I wish the trail ran cold for the real culprits in town!

 

[UltraDeth]

They have their own problems, like devastating weather or dangerous lifeforms that make most planets look safe.

I wish all clothes were in my size.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but none of them seem to fit you that well. The abundance of choice has also left you feeling like you hate them all.

I wish I could play tabletop RPGs more often.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You've plenty of time for tabletop RPGs since your legs were stolen by raccoons.

 

[UltraDeth]

But why would you not want powers?

I wish Augmentation was the next step in organic evolution.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The super power is the ability to be extremely annoying to everyone you meet. Also you exist for all eternity as a child.

I wish I could get my best friend's evil wife deported: back to Thailand or whatever pit in the abyss she emerged from, whichever is easier.