Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Well that is several billion dollar industries just gone up in smoke. America's economy goes into a half century long great depression.

I wish I had a pet dragon!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but instead you got no presents.
Another year another forgotten birthday.
As this day dwindles into the lasting twilight.
A chill of loneliness rests on the forefront of thought.

I wish I didn't write that emo garbage.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You live that emo garbage instead!

I wish landmines were never invented.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

You become possessed by said obsessions.

I wish Toothless was my pet!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

The cat spends all **** day in the bathroom and leaves the seat up every single time!

I wish Hayley Williams (lead singer for Paramore) was my girlfriend!

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted I now only wish for different shades of off white to appear less regularly in paint catalogs these days.

I wish for what I just typed.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You become obsessed with collecting paint catalogues.

I wish common sense was actually common.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but now we have no sense of personal safety.

I wish to be the master of unlocking.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

It's so horrible it causes the death of the horror genre.

I wish I would be medically cleared for the Air National Guard.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

you find out only after picking it up that it was coated in an enzyme that causes your hair to fall out. ALL OF IT!

I wish I could teach Kung Fu.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You are in the Matrix instead!

I wish for endless tacos!