Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, you're a ghost for all tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes! Oh no's!

I wish for ten pounds of potatoes.

 

[greendrag13]

Granted, but only while viewing hardcore geriatric porn.

I wish to invent faster-than-light travel.

 

[Mettking]

Granted, everything feels like a knife is being jabbed into you on contact.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

 

[Mettking]

Granted, you rip out some guys heart and put it in place of yours.

I wish Jack Thompson and Uwe Boll fight it out, man to man live on pay per view.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. They start liking his minions, Crabbe and Goyle.

I wish my dog wasn't too dumb to live.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You become so funny that you pass the funny event horizon and become unfunny again.

I wish my hair didn't make my face itch.

 

[SkyeNeko]

Granted, but it gains sentience and forms a rebel group with the rest of your hair. [small]they will smother you in your sleep[/small]

I wish more people I know were online right now...

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, but they spam you with ads instead of love and affection.

I wish for food.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted. (Places a puppy in front of Red.) What? Dogs are food in some places.

I wish I could leap over tall buildings without getting a wedgie.

 

[Solid Reece]

Granted but you break a leg everytime

I wish for a nano suit 2 like in crysis 2

 

[cryogeist]

Granted!
buts its only in ONE part of your body the size of a 9mm bullet

I wish for infinit moneys!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but inflation means that paper money is worthless, only food and gasoline is valuable.

I wish for a faithful servant.

 

[nuba km]

granted you servant is a extremely devout religious person, and because he believes that all people should be equal he organises a group of extremely religious people to protest outside your house 24/7

I wish for you do die

 

[cryogeist]

do die?
granted?

I wish for nothing

 

[Robert632]

Granted. However the strain of ending and returning causes severaql Eldritch Abominations to appear, all around Earth conveiniantly

I wish for More time in the morning.

 

[Robert632]

Granted. One of your powers is that if you use any of your other powers, your spine will rip itself out of your body.

I wish for a better pillow.

 

[Queen Michael]

You get hit in the face.

I wish for pop-tarts.

 

[Queen Michael]

Granted. It uses tons of electricity and because of that you can't afford to use it.

I wish to meet Batman.

 

[wizard_joe88]

Granted, but he is a zombie now
I wish Cracker Jacks had better prizes inside

 

[Queen Michael]

Granted, but you can't afford to buy them anymore.

I wish I got to have sex tonight.