Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's a mimic cape and it waits for you to be asleep before it eats you.

I wish for a fireworks show.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. However it's only made up of sparklers and snakes. However, it's really a tiger cub. As it matures, it develops a taste for your flesh.

I wish for a large quantity of gunpowder.

 

[darth.pixie]

You too? Granted! That's it. Enjoy! I will.

I wish I had a crowbar.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's actually kinda boring unlike the games.

I wish I could spend the whole day watching Tom and Jerry.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It's all deposited on your bed.

I wish for a job in garbage sanitation.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. You will never get the smell out of your clothes.

I wish I ruled a country.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It comes with a very strict Victorian lady that tries to teach you proper drinking tea etiquette.

I wish Sherlock Holmes were real.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Almost all of the world's population goes insane from an overload of knowledge.

I wish I had some vodka.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. They are now all insane and sent to asylums and you have no one to talk to anymore.

I wish I had some absinthe now...

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's the very first Vegemite ever invented from back in 1922. Enjoy!

I wish for robots to develop sentience.

 

[SpaceSpork]

Granted, but Satan comes and eats it.

I wish for a calculator that can run Doom so I can play Doom in my math class.

 

[havass]

Granted. You are now also a vampire, and she slays you.

I wish I had an idea of how to start my Globalization essay.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but you take it from a source without citing it, and you immediately fail due to plagiarism.

I wish it would rain tomorrow.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Nowned=Obsolete.

I would tell you what happened, but Darkspectar 2.0 just cured his third cancer today.

I wish that I would get a grilled cheese, made on a fully functioning, normal grill, with no gas leaking, it is only powered by natraul gas, not anything else (including but not limited to money, souls, the hopes and dreams of children, or me) crafted by the world's greatest grilled cheese chef who has no reason not to give me perfection and tell me when I should eat so I don't burn myself and gain maximum enjoyment from it.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You have no mouth to eat the sammich though.

I wish that people wouldn't try so hard to eliminate loopholes.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Can't grant that. Everyone already has a crush on you already.

I wish for an eternal nap.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It has a grilled cheese sandwich in it.

I want to die in the most awesome manner possible.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. They aren't the cool sexy kind. In fact, they are very angry about the fact that men are still around.

I wish for a zombie puppy.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. The ritual was written backwards so your poor kitten arrive inside-out.

I wish for some Chinese food.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. I break all the belongings in your room. (Although I'm horrified by some of the things I find.)

I wish I could forget the things I found in Dark's room.