Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[One Seven One]

Granted, but not you have to go find it.

I wish I had a delicious sandwhich.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You really need to chew your food better though. I mean, you just choked and died on your delicious sandwich.

I wish I was getting punched in the face.

 

[One Seven One]

Well darn... ._.

Granted, but you get knocked unconcious in the process and can no longer feel anything until you wake up but by then it's over.

I wish I had a better computer.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Booting up the Skynet system now.

I wish that I lived in the center of the earth.

 

[One Seven One]

Granted, but you are crushed into a tiny ball by the Earth's gravity.

I wish I had telekenisis.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You're only able to lift AAA batteries.

The person below me loves It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

False, wrong thread.

I wish this thread was back on track.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted. He comes out looking like this.

I wish that I wasn't always so confused.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. You are so attractive, I am now gay for you. This is far worse than you realize.

I wish to be hit in the back of the head with a 2x4.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted.

I wish I was watching Loony Tunes.

 

[Nopodop]

Granted, but it's made of your grandfather's pubic hair.

I want to be able to teleport.

 

[MartianWarMachine]

Granted. You get the words "wut lol" stamped on your face.

I wish for a cookie.

 

[Jailbird408]

Granted. It is a raisin-and-shit cookie.

I wish that this wish would be granted.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted. I eat you. Nom nom nom

I wish to fall down a flight of stairs.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but than he throws you up.

I wish I knew what degree I should work towards...

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, your career of choice is Janitor. Hey, public health is nothing to laugh at!

I wish I didn't remember so much about my dream last night.

 

[scorptatious]

Granted, but you lose your childhood memories in the process.

I wish I had a trained elephant.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted. You have an elephant trained to kill. The police find out and you go to jail.

I wish for A.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Spoiler: Granted.

I wish for a robot who wishes they could love.

 

[Voodoomancer]

Granted. You get a robot who wishes that it could love, and also that it didn't have a timebomb in it's chest, ticking down 3... 2...

I wish for a fish.