Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's more difficult than you'd think and you're stuck as a snail. With the artistic skills comes the depression of great artists. You kill yourself ...in a very artistic fashion

I wish I had mind control.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. You can only control a old man named Terry.

I wish I had a cute pet.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's a worm and mud pie.

I wish I had more money.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Hope you like human and cow balls.

I wish for a time machine.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. It's only a one way trip time machine and you're stuck with the dinosaurs.

I wish I had more coffee.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. You're so stereotypically Russian and no one ever trust you.

I wish had X-ray eyes.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Shame that you only get one, unforgettable bite.

I wish I could cook.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted but you have the combined pain of every full-to-bursting person in the world when you're done.

I wish I could sing well.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. It's made from the skull of the person you love most.

I wish for more charisma.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted. But you lose all intelligence, wisdom... ah, fuck it, you revert to zero of all other qualities.

I wish for more My Little Pony.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

(I could deal with that)

Granted. You're used to draw creepy semi illegal porn.

I wish for a meal.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted. The cup's made of mouldy bread.

I wish for an accident.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. It's full of roofies.

I wish for a beautiful piece of art.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted. Too bad it's on the back of a smelly hobo.

I wish for wings.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. Too bad it's 4 weeks old.

I wish for more modern technology.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted. Too bad you're too old to grasp how to work it.

I wish for cybernetic skillz.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted, but it's actually the Coldplay song on endless repeat.

I wish for happiness.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Granted. It's all you'll ever feel and it'll creep everyone out.

I wish for the ability of foresight.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted. However, you lose your memory.

I wish for red boots.

 

[Steppin Razor]

Granted. They're made from human skin and are painted red from the blood of the person they were harvested from. They are also incredibly uncomfortable.

I wish for the never-ending bottle of bourbon.