Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it never comes off and people forever think you are Bowser.

I wish for Mario to save my day.

 

[steeple]

granted, it's a costume of a person in a terrible costume!

I wish to go deeper...

 

[Robert632]

Granted. You sink to the absolute bottom of the ocean. You die, obviously

I wish I knew what the previous poster was thinking.

 

[steeple]

granted, you go mad with the revelation...

I wish I could organize my thoughts into files...

 

[ThunderCavalier]

Granted, but someone looks at them and sees that there's a surprising abundance of 'porn' and a stark lack of 'not porn'.

I wish for a cupcake.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted: But it's one from the fanfic "Cupcakes"

I wish I was better at art

 

[steeple]

granted, it was poisoned, and now you're dead

I wish for the perfect plate of mac & cheese... just the right balance of the two, with both being tasty...

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but the cheese is actually BLUE CHEESE! (That stuff is unholy!)

I wish to die suddenly and painlessly in my sleep...

 

[steeple]

granted, someone brings you back to life and stabs you, just see you bleed...

I wish for a chocolate-helicopter that is capable of flight, and after each bite I take the chocolate reappears, so it's basically infinite chocolate which takes shape of a helicopter!

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, but the helicopter doesn't need a pilot and take off without you before you can get in or take a bite.

I wish for a fresh bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but the bread is the horrible stuff with raisins and nuts.

I wish for a dinosaur driving a jet to come and let me have a fly.

 

[Kangaskhan115]

Too bad he drops you.

I wish for a new car!

 

[steeple]

granted, it doesnt have any wheels...

I wish to see your avatar without exiting my browser...

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted it is forever burnt into your vision.

I wish Australia has a long and beautiful future.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted but it's so long that it's the only country that stays after the apocolypse. Meaning that without any food or help from other countries it will die a slow painful death.

I wish that people on my awards event could stop fighting (please!)

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted the thread has now been locked.

I wish we could all just get along.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Granted, we all get a long piece of string. We then proceed to strangle eachother with our newly aquired string.

I wish that I could travel by cloud.

 

[ToastiestZombie]

Granted, but the clouds are lighting clouds that shock you to death when you step on them.

I wish for world peace, but only for Iquanas.

 

[Dr.Susse]

Granted but it's too peaceful and the rest of us commit suicide out of jealousy.

I wish this wish didn't end with the extinction of the human race.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Granted. Your wish is now DIAMONDS...but humans still die in the end, sorry.

I wish I was half as cool as the Old Spice guy.