Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you're tied up in them and can never escape.

I wish cats weren't evil.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, the sedatives will make you very relaxed while my thugs rip apart your home.

I wish Canada had a bigger say in foreign affairs.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, they introduce free global healthcare and no one can pay for it. The global economy collapes and chaos ensues.

I wish governments weren't so complicated.

 

[Paranoah]

Granted, but its gonna be 10 times as painful

I wish to learn everything

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, you sink into the fluffiness and suffocate.

I wish for less hurricanes.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, you get seven times the tornadoes across the entire continent instead.

I wish to have home internet again.

 

[karcentric]

Granted, it's 10kbs dial up with a faulty modem and a 10mb download cap.

I wish my phone worked.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, you're immediately flooded with spam texts and calls.

I wish my old laptop died.

 

[White Lightning]

Granted, but you can't have a new one.

I wish for the wish of the person two posts after me to not get ruined by the person posting after me or after them.

 

[karcentric]

Granted, it will get ruined anyway.

I wish for an old car that doesn't run and needs a lot of work.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted. It is also a portal to another realm that brings in giant flesheating cheeseburgers.

I wish for my nose to be unclogged.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it also disappears, and you never see it again.

I wish for a red panda!

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, it bodyslams you immediately.

I wish for better CoD trailers.

 

[karcentric]

Granted, they are so good you spend all your money on them, becoming broke and have it repossessed.

I wish my headphones wouldn't cut out at random.

 

[DotSlash]

Granted, the next update makes you want to never touch it again.

I wish for more trees.

 

[karcentric]

Granted, however they are all dead.

I wish I was a magical dragon.