Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[SilverBullets000]

I wish that I had a better computer.

Granted, but you're unable to connect to the internet.

I wish I could do things faster.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

I wish that I had a better computer.

Granted, but you're unable to connect to the internet.

Spoiler: NOOO!

You do things so fast you BURN YOUR SKIN OFF YOU SOULLESS *Bleep* *Bleep* *Bleeping* *BLEEP*.

I wish I didn't have to *Bleeping* bleep every time I say a naughty word.

 

[SilverBullets000]

Spoiler: NOOO!

You do things so fast you BURN YOUR SKIN OFF YOU SOULLESS *Bleep* *Bleep* *Bleeping* *BLEEP*.

I wish I didn't have to *Bleeping* bleep every time I say a naughty word.

*comes back as a skeleton* Well, I always wanted to be skinnier, but this is ridiculous! Yukyukyuk!

Granted! It's replaced by the most annoying sound in the world!

EDIT: Whoops, forgot my wish!
I wish I could breathe underwater!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you are now banished from every coming back on land EVER again! GOOD DAY SIR!! (Also, you will always be hunted by sharks because SCIENCE!)

I wish there was a sequel to Mr. Wiseau's The Room!

 

[Protocol95]

Granted, it's a 2 second screamer video.

I wish for a date.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's me cosplaying as <link=http://social.rollins.edu/wpsites/filmsofthe80s/files/2012/11/Lenahyena-300x225.gif>this... *puts on lipstick* Pucker up! I do kiss on the first date!

I wish to be able to watch ALL the Simpsons in less than 30 minutes!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

I wish I could remove that mental image of Fploon being that cosplay date from my mind forever.

 

[FliedLiverAttack]

Wish granted, you don't even remember getting that mental image in the first place. I just had to get rid of some of your other memories as well. By which I mean all of them.

I wish to learn a new language.

 

[Protocol95]

Granted, you've learnt the new language pointlessnese which has absolutely no practical value.

I wish for a crystal ball which I can use to predict the future.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but it only shows you futures that could have happened if you made better decisions.

I wish for a comic book.

 

[Malbourne]

Granted. It follows the adventures of the superhero "Captain Normal." Watch and be amazed as he files his taxes and washes his car.

I wish for a relaxing cup o' tea.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Granted, one cup of tea laced with cyanide. Is that not what you asked for?

I wish for £5 billion.

 

[Malbourne]

Hm. Not sure why you wanted all those pounds. Welp, good luck with normal movement!

I wish for a radio show.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will not be known as "a melting pot of friendship" nor "a nice guy"...

I wish to be the 6001 poster!

 

[Malbourne]

Granted! Oh, hey, you passed the cap of 5,999 for a single thread. Looks like your account's bugged out.

I wish for an apple farm.

 

[SirDerpy]

Granted. Oh, and I turned you into an orange pony while I was at it. Nah, no need to thank me.

I wish that I had infinite lives.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, this will be the last good life you'll ever have afterwards... (Awesome, right?)

I wish my waifu got the husbano at the end!

 

[Malbourne]

Granted! Now for the tragic death scene all of our titles are known for. Make sure to buy the emotional musical accompaniment on CD!

I wish I was the most famous manga artist in the world!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will never have a vacation again since the series you're known for is both "never-ending" and "never-resting" according to your publishers... on top of having a polar global fanbase that will threaten you with WRITTEN LETTERS if you ever give less panal coverage to that one character you wanted to kill off SEVERAL arc ago...

I wish for a better video editer!

 

[SirDerpy]

Granted. Did I mention that it is not compatible with your OS (no matter what it is), and adds dicks to crucial sections of your images?

I wish for more fertile lands for my kingdom.