Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. He is now to busy eating you.

I wish for a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will be taxed from hell and back by the Leprechaun Tax Agency... and, if the rumors are true, you will loose more than just the thought of seeing a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...

I wish I didn't have to "gotta go fast"!

 

[Fractral]

Granted. You now have legs made of concrete.

I wish I was a better chess player.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You've become so good taht the machines have put a hit out on you. :c

I wish that the war hadn't bankrupted us all.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, the only one bankrupted is you.

I wish for eternal happiness.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. You will now be happy forever, even at totally inappropriate moments. Like the burial of your first child who tragically died in a freak midget golf accident.

I wish that the next wish I make won't be ruined.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Granted, but now you're all out of wishes. Good luck making a wish that can't be ruined when you can't make any wishes!

I wish my hair would behave itself.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. The headcrab on you will keep it in check, no problem.

I wish the wishing wells actually granted wishes.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. They also spew toxic smog.

I wish all the oceans were clean again.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the land becomes too dirty to live on... (Hope you can grow some gills in less than 1.287408395775 milliseconds...)

I wish a was a Power Ranger!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. You die in the gritty reboot.

I wish the color green was actually blue.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but the colour blue is actually green.

I wish I was a better cook.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You now work with Gordon "Fucking Donkey" Ramsay.

I wish I had lifetime free entry to any Disneyland.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can only ride the Small World ride... in G MAJOR!

I wish I could be like Mike!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. You now have the physique of Michael Moore.

I wish for a donut.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. But I have already eaten it.

I wish for a time machine.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. It only goes in one direction and takes a year to recharge.

I wish for a plate of cod, haddock, mackerel and sole.

 

[Brownie80]

Granted. Your breath smells like fish so bad it can never smell like anything but fish ever again.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.

 

[Twintix]

Granted. It turns out that it's either related to how matter is energy or that people aren't wearing enough hats. You can't afford to buy all those hats, so nobody else will ever know.

I wish my cat's fur would stop getting so gross.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. Your cat no longer has fur or a skin.

I wish I could shoot lasers out of my fingertips.