Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[FPLOON]

Granted, it can only go 1/10,000,000 miles to the gallon...

I wish for two pairs of headphones!

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but they both have sound in only one ear.

I wish I could manipulate time.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You are now a heretic.

I wish I could befriend any animal.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

[sub][sub][sub]I see what you did there...[/sub][/sub][/sub]

OT: Granted, you are now a Disney princess!

I wish I'd only get nice customers.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, but they don't buy enough so the place goes bankrupt and you eventually end up dying homeless and unloved.

I wish how everyone on this site look like in real life.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Have this turnip, for I did not understand your wish.

I wish for a replacement turnip.

 

[QuietCupOfTea]

Granted, but it just isn't the same. You become depressed, and your turnip ends up leaving you for another fish.

I wish that I don't have to move again in a couple of months.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Your house and yard make up the demilitarized zone in the middle of a statewide war.

I wish I had a roll of sticky tape.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's not sticky nor is it actually tape... It's just called "sticky tape" out of force of habit...

I wish to be in the Empire business!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Clean up the mess in house 4!

I wish for a less pricy PC upgrade.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the "less pricy PC upgrade" is technically a downgrade in this day and age... (Just sayin'...)

I wish for a paper version of MapQuest!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Enjoy the paper lacerations.

I wish for a polite receptionist.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they cannot see you... because you're invisible... to them only...

I wish I could memorize the number pi!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, but your brain overloads and catches fire.

I wish I lived in the world of pokemon.

 

[Barbas]

Granted, Metapod.

I wish I had a Pokemon companion.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they will constantly try to kill you...<color=white> and succeed...

I wish I could meet Tupac!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. His vengeful zombie form has been resurrection in the anteroom.

I wish I could speak fluent Mandarin.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can only use it while trying to get the role of The Mandarin...

I wish for more subscribers!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. They are all terribly racist.

I wish for an end to the hunger.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, now everyone must now get down with the sickness...

I wish for my own Smash Ball!