Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Dr.Susse]

Granted *Gets hammer* right one or the left one?

I wish for more daylight.

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, but on half of the year you have to live on the north pole and the other half on the south pole

I wish the climate over here was warmer.[footnote]Fuck rising sea levels, we will just make the dikes higher.[/footnote]

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the climate is now intimating a sauna gone wrong... (Do I smell fried rabbit?)

I wish I wasn't ninja'd!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. You've been shinobi'd instead.

I wish I could rub a giraffe's nose.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will cost you a nose... and some other body parts of yours...

I wish to be the Doctor's companion!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. Enjoy your last few moments of enjoyable and normal life.

I wish for a comics museum.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will only display the stuff that makes others uncomfortable...

I wish to bring back Casual Fridays!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted. You have to spend the entire Friday playing Wii Sports.

I wish it was Saturday morning again.

 

[Barbas]

Granted. It's a Saturday from the war-torn future.

I wish I had an AT-ST.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you can never pilot nor look at it directly...

I wish I was prepared for this!

 

[Rabbitboy]

Granted, you may have been prepared for this but not for that.

I wish for a BMW M3.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's made out of cheap paper mache... So, don't get it wet... *hides bucket of water for later*

I wish for Battle Ready Armor!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted, Batteries not included.

I wish for my wish to be ruined!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you haven't given me your true wish yet...

I wish for my first kiss to be True Love's Kiss!

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted but the frog stays a frog.

I wish my dishes cleaned themselves.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, you will be burned to the stake afterwards for being mistaken for a witch...

I wish for another video game!

 

[Schadrach]

Granted, but it's E.T. for the Atari 2600.

I wish for the ability to mute people in real life!

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it will cost you all 5 of your senses...

I wish I didn't have to wait several minutes for a password!

 

[Barbas]

Granted. All your accounts have been deleted!

I wish I had a more pleasing salary.

 

[Bizzaro Stormy]

Granted. However all the money is in cash from the Confederate States of America, Siam, the Second French Empire, and Trans-Jordan.

I wish Harry Turtledove would write a book series set in Brazil.