Get a big Vienna loaf. Cut it in half, (i.e. open it.) Pour good olive oil on both open sides. Get a can of flaky tuna, spread it over one side. Add capers, kalamata olives, anchovies if you have any, (anchovy sauce works fine too if you don't want a strong anchovy taste,) about two sliced capsicums, (different colours, doesn't matter which,) and then carpet it with Basil - a lot of Basil. Put the other half on top and, this is important, squash the shit out of it. Get it nice and flat, as flat as you can. Then wrap it tightly in cling film, (some people use string but fuck that,) and squash it flat some more. Just press your forearms down onto it and lean on it. When it's nice and flat put it in the fridge, preferably under a heavy book to keep it flat, and leave it overnight. When you want to eat it slice off a generous portion and bon appetit. Probably one of the freshest and best-tasting sandwiches you'll ever eat... that is if it still classifies as a sandwich.
No tomato, no mayo, but probably a bit too beyond what your college is capable of. I recommend it nonetheless.
