Save the Whips and Chains Until the Second Date
Creepers tend to get creepy when creeping.
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Creepers tend to get creepy when creeping.
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And this week's theme -- perspective!Lara Crigger said:Save the Whips and Chains Until the Second Date
Creepers tend to get creepy when creeping.
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I think I enjoy reading Dastardly's comments just as much as Lara's. Almost like a post commentary. You guys give sound and unbiased advice in my opinion as well. Happy Holidays.Dastardly said:
That's actually a really good way of putting it.Dastardly said:Nintendog:
What you've got is a guy who's played too many games. To him, you have no perspective of your own, you're just a game. If he enters the right sequence of moves, and executes those combos enough times, victory is assured. He does not see you as a person, he sees you as a game that can be won -- meaning you have no will of your own. If you're not with him yet, it just means he hasn't hit the right buttons or used the right strategy.
Cut him out of your life. For his good as much as yours, it needs to be a clean break. Make him aware that the problem is he doesn't respect your feelings or independence, so if he tries to "fight" you on this at all, he's only proving your point further. And then that's all. No further contact, no matter what.
You'll both be better for it.
Also a male sub over here, I got next to no clue how to go about finding the right partner.MaxwellEdison said:First letter thinks they have it tough, try being a male *sub*.
I've never been quite sure how to bring it up either, to be honest. A bit harder in my corner, since I can't really slowly introduce someone's behavior towards me
Good article as always!
That sounds like a good idea, I've just been terrified of typing anything into google related to the fetish because....well its the internet.DracoSuave said:Actually, I can give some advice to you, Maxwell.
You want to do some research on the internet on 'munches' in your area. A munch is a place where kinky people gather, have some drinks, talk, enjoy some food... but don't engage in any sort of play. It's kinda a meet and greet without the pressure of whips and chains.
For someone looking for others in the lifestyle, it's a great place to meet and network. Just be yourself. Don't put on your subbie pants and beg to be abused (it's a munch, that's defeating the purpose of a munch), but let people know who you are, and start engaging with the community.
That's exactly what I was thinking as I read it. I hope some of them read this column and see themselves in it.Seventh Actuality said:(also, I can't help thinking of the forum posts the creep from the third message must make when he's not creeping. "Bawww, why do girls always date jerks? I'M SO SENSITIVE AND INTELLIGENT, WHY WON'T YOU FUCK ME?" He probably posts here.)
In a different article Lara said almost the exact same thing, I think it was the one about nice guys, still good advice.AbstractStream said:Sometimes, I don't know how you come up with the advice for people, Lara. I'd draw up a big blank on the spot.
That's actually a really good way of putting it.Dastardly said:Nintendog:
What you've got is a guy who's played too many games. To him, you have no perspective of your own, you're just a game. If he enters the right sequence of moves, and executes those combos enough times, victory is assured. He does not see you as a person, he sees you as a game that can be won -- meaning you have no will of your own. If you're not with him yet, it just means he hasn't hit the right buttons or used the right strategy.
Cut him out of your life. For his good as much as yours, it needs to be a clean break. Make him aware that the problem is he doesn't respect your feelings or independence, so if he tries to "fight" you on this at all, he's only proving your point further. And then that's all. No further contact, no matter what.
You'll both be better for it.
Huh. Interesting thought. Luckily, I've got a partner who I'm very happy with atm, but that's great for all the others out there!DracoSuave said:Actually, I can give some advice to you, Maxwell.
You want to do some research on the internet on 'munches' in your area. A munch is a place where kinky people gather, have some drinks, talk, enjoy some food... but don't engage in any sort of play. It's kinda a meet and greet without the pressure of whips and chains.
For someone looking for others in the lifestyle, it's a great place to meet and network. Just be yourself. Don't put on your subbie pants and beg to be abused (it's a munch, that's defeating the purpose of a munch), but let people know who you are, and start engaging with the community.
I think there are more doms out there, so being a sub should be easier. I don't think there are any subs without some dom tendencies, but there are plenty of doms that don't like being subs.MaxwellEdison said:First letter thinks they have it tough, try being a male *sub*.
Me too. I reckon Dastardly could do just as good a job of this column as Lara does, and that's a compliment for both of them.capacollo said:I think I enjoy reading Dastardly's comments just as much as Lara's. Almost like a post commentary. You guys give sound and unbiased advice in my opinion as well. Happy Holidays.Dastardly said: