For the person looking for their damsel in distress:
First, I want you to watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFAozYmmjWs
Now answer honestly - is this you? I assume its not, but if it is, we've found your problem. If its not, let it stand as a reminder that you're doing better than a lot people
That said - sexuality is an important part of who we are. If this is an important part of you, then I recommend you explore it more. Have you explored your local scene? Are you involved in the scene online? Fetlife is a really good social networking site for SM - ie it has active groups and good discussion rather than just being a meat market. Sign up (its free, and no, I'm not employed by them), see if you can find people in your area/with your interests. There are also plenty of groups there for people new to SM where more experienced folks answer questions. If there is a local scene where you are, try going to some munches. Meeting other kinky folks will help you grow and understand yourself better, maybe introduce you to stuff you didn't even know you liked - and who knows, you might meet someone with compatible levels of kink there. If nothing else, it is good for your self-esteem to hang out with people that don't have that knee-jerk "omg woman hater" reaction.
Kink brings an extra level of complexity to the already complex task of relationships - but remember that relationships are work and NOTHING in them is going to be perfect at first. Compatibility, sexual or otherwise, requires communication and compromise. You and your partner will each some with kinks and quirks that are new to the other one, maybe they'll be deal breakers, maybe they won't. If something's a dealbreaker, it will always be one - but there are plenty of things that a person might not be into simply because they haven't been exposed to them. I thought I hated martinis, but I was proven wrong by a night spent hanging out with my fabulous husband, enjoying his company and patiently tasting all the samples he made for me. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't enjoy his company so much. Exploring new things is fun if you enjoy spending time with the other person - and as Lara pointed out, that goes both ways.
You will have to walk a fine line with any seemingly "vanilla" girl, and the right time to have the conversation will depend on your situation. But light bondage is becoming much more accepted by society, so you've got a certain amount of leeway. There are plenty of love scenes in reasonably popular movies that contain a bit of blindfolding or tying up - try watching one with her and judging her reaction. If its "omg gross" well then, guess you've got your answer - but if its neutral or even positive, then there's an opening. Bondage iconography shows up all around us, keep your eyes open. Find ways to introduce the topic slowly in a low-pressure way, and gauge how to progress from there.
Good luck
First, I want you to watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFAozYmmjWs
Now answer honestly - is this you? I assume its not, but if it is, we've found your problem. If its not, let it stand as a reminder that you're doing better than a lot people
That said - sexuality is an important part of who we are. If this is an important part of you, then I recommend you explore it more. Have you explored your local scene? Are you involved in the scene online? Fetlife is a really good social networking site for SM - ie it has active groups and good discussion rather than just being a meat market. Sign up (its free, and no, I'm not employed by them), see if you can find people in your area/with your interests. There are also plenty of groups there for people new to SM where more experienced folks answer questions. If there is a local scene where you are, try going to some munches. Meeting other kinky folks will help you grow and understand yourself better, maybe introduce you to stuff you didn't even know you liked - and who knows, you might meet someone with compatible levels of kink there. If nothing else, it is good for your self-esteem to hang out with people that don't have that knee-jerk "omg woman hater" reaction.
Kink brings an extra level of complexity to the already complex task of relationships - but remember that relationships are work and NOTHING in them is going to be perfect at first. Compatibility, sexual or otherwise, requires communication and compromise. You and your partner will each some with kinks and quirks that are new to the other one, maybe they'll be deal breakers, maybe they won't. If something's a dealbreaker, it will always be one - but there are plenty of things that a person might not be into simply because they haven't been exposed to them. I thought I hated martinis, but I was proven wrong by a night spent hanging out with my fabulous husband, enjoying his company and patiently tasting all the samples he made for me. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't enjoy his company so much. Exploring new things is fun if you enjoy spending time with the other person - and as Lara pointed out, that goes both ways.
You will have to walk a fine line with any seemingly "vanilla" girl, and the right time to have the conversation will depend on your situation. But light bondage is becoming much more accepted by society, so you've got a certain amount of leeway. There are plenty of love scenes in reasonably popular movies that contain a bit of blindfolding or tying up - try watching one with her and judging her reaction. If its "omg gross" well then, guess you've got your answer - but if its neutral or even positive, then there's an opening. Bondage iconography shows up all around us, keep your eyes open. Find ways to introduce the topic slowly in a low-pressure way, and gauge how to progress from there.
Good luck