Science!: Duck Penises, Willpower and Whales

[Lord_Ascendant]

Jeez, even Ducks get more action than me

Just joking, rather odd topic for today dontcha think Lauren?

Don't you mean rather AWESOME topic?

Please, Giraffe sex is better. Just youtube it

 

[Fists]

On a topic that isnt duck sex, in the first one on willpower I probably would have chosen the fruit salad regardles, assuming it looked like a good one. Cake always leaves your mouth sticky and starchy, unless its pavlova but pavlova is part fruit salad anyway.

If you think curly duck penises is 'TMI' you haven't heard about Hyena Clitoruses(sp) (normally I would google for spelling but that doesnt seem wise for this one)

 

[paragon1]

Well, I flipped a coin to decide if I should click those links.
Suffice to say, that was incredibly weird.

Oh, and I am a little conflicted about that pod of whales now...DAMN.
Rrrrrrrraaaa!
*passes out*
*regains consciousness*
After consulting myself, I have realized I cannot afford to set a merciful precedent.
As "d'awww" inspiring as that was, whales are still in need of extermination.

If anything, you should expand the list to include seals. And ducks. This article has convinced me that not only is duck hunting a good idea, it is a holy crusade.

 

[Neonbob]

Well, I flipped a coin to decide if I should click those links.
Suffice to say, that was incredibly weird.

Oh, and I am a little conflicted about that pod of whales now...DAMN.
Rrrrrrrraaaa!
*passes out*
*regains consciousness*
After consulting myself, I have realized I cannot afford to set a merciful precedent.
As "d'awww" inspiring as that was, whales are still in need of extermination.

If anything, you should expand the list to include seals. And ducks. This article has convinced me that not only is duck hunting a good idea, it is a holy crusade.

Y'know...I do believe I'll take that under consideration.
Something that damn weird...I don't know if we should keep it.
And I'm not all that averse to more explosions >:-D

 

[paragon1]

Well, I flipped a coin to decide if I should click those links.
Suffice to say, that was incredibly weird.

Oh, and I am a little conflicted about that pod of whales now...DAMN.
Rrrrrrrraaaa!
*passes out*
*regains consciousness*
After consulting myself, I have realized I cannot afford to set a merciful precedent.
As "d'awww" inspiring as that was, whales are still in need of extermination.

If anything, you should expand the list to include seals. And ducks. This article has convinced me that not only is duck hunting a good idea, it is a holy crusade.

Y'know...I do believe I'll take that under consideration.
Something that damn weird...I don't know if we should keep it.
And I'm not all that averse to more explosions >:-D

Well, if it will help your decision, consider this!
Ducks have been known to cause airplane crashes! That's right, they can kill us, while we are in the sky. Know how they do it? They get sucked into the engines, or crash into the cockpit. So not only are they trying to kill us, they're devoted enough to the idea to commit suicide! That's fanaticism right there! Who deserves death more than bunch of raping, suicidal, fanatics? (except whales, of course)

 

[Neonbob]

Y'know...I do believe I'll take that under consideration.
Something that damn weird...I don't know if we should keep it.
And I'm not all that averse to more explosions >:-D

Well, if it will help your decision, consider this!
Ducks have been known to cause airplane crashes! That's right, they can kill us, while we are in the sky. Know how they do it? They get sucked into the engines, or crash into the cockpit. So not only are they trying to kill us, they're devoted enough to the idea to commit suicide! That's fanaticism right there! Who deserves death more than bunch of raping, suicidal, fanatics? (except whales, of course)

...THOSE BASTARDS!
A new vendetta is born!
The flying annoyances shall fall to nuclear wrath!
Muahahahaaaaaa!

 

[The Random One]

... This was a very disturbing edition of SCIENCE!. I'm glad the strangely (suspiciously?) nice whales kind of broke it up. And I didn't know you could think so hard you could turn evil, I guess?

Duck penis has nothing on that bug that has a circulatory system such that it can deposit the sperm anywhere on the females body, so it evolved a dagger-like penis and just stabs the female in the fucking chest to deposit it. To counter this, females grew a pseudo-vagina on the chest to allow them to better survive the dickstabbings. So now females have a completely normal vagina that is never used and a fake vagina that is. And you thought you had relationship problems.

Unfortuntately, I can't find the source for those bugs on the highly respected scientific website [http://www.qwantz.com/index.php] I first heard about it.

 

[paragon1]

Y'know...I do believe I'll take that under consideration.
Something that damn weird...I don't know if we should keep it.
And I'm not all that averse to more explosions >:-D

Well, if it will help your decision, consider this!
Ducks have been known to cause airplane crashes! That's right, they can kill us, while we are in the sky. Know how they do it? They get sucked into the engines, or crash into the cockpit. So not only are they trying to kill us, they're devoted enough to the idea to commit suicide! That's fanaticism right there! Who deserves death more than bunch of raping, suicidal, fanatics? (except whales, of course)

...THOSE BASTARDS!
A new vendetta is born!
The flying annoyances shall fall to nuclear wrath!
Muahahahaaaaaa!

I knew there was a reason I bought that AA gun...

 

[Neonbob]

...THOSE BASTARDS!
A new vendetta is born!
The flying annoyances shall fall to nuclear wrath!
Muahahahaaaaaa!

I knew there was a reason I bought that AA gun...

Wait...you don't think it was for solicitors?
I know that's what I got mine for...
Stupid knife salesmen. They kept calling.

 

[paragon1]

...THOSE BASTARDS!
A new vendetta is born!
The flying annoyances shall fall to nuclear wrath!
Muahahahaaaaaa!

I knew there was a reason I bought that AA gun...

Wait...you don't think it was for solicitors?
I know that's what I got mine for...
Stupid knife salesmen. They kept calling.

Yeah, and they always seem to call when your eating dinner too. It's like they're watching the house or something. It's half the reason I put them on The List. The other half being that they're never actually selling anything I want.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

This has to be, without doubt, the most awesome article ever.

labyrinthine ducksnatch tunnels

had me honest to gods head-back-ribs-aching laughing, fighting for air, and tearing up. Between that and the guy with ruler measuring the amazing corkscrew penis, this was just absolutely awesome. I even learned a few new words: allomaternalism, hypercrisy, and ducksnatch (all of which, coincidentally, my browser does not know--but I'm certainly gonna teach them to it!). Absolutely astounding. "...explodes out of its sac like a heat-seeking missile and quickly deposits the sperm within seconds" Is quite possibly going on my facebook, with proper attribution. Thanks Lauren!

 

[jimduckie]

WHAT THE DUCK ? you people should be pooped on by a duck ... lol ...we ducks have a very interesting sex life and yeah we use duck (duct) tape for protection ... hey here is a joke 4 ya ... why was the duck arrested ? for possession of quack ...HAHA !

 

[gmacarthur81]

I will never look at all the Muscovies that run around my neighborhood in the same way again.

That whale thing is pretty neat though not entirely surprising to me. I always figured things like that happend in nature.

 

[InsanityRequiem]

Hmm... How to talk about this.

Willpower: Maybe that's why my willpower is so crappy. I must not have that big of a prefrontal cortex. Well... Not just my willpower.

Ducks: Pretty cool how nature fiddles with reproduction organs. Spiral wangs of weirdness for male ducks while female ducks contain the crazy holes of trapness.

People in power: Ehh... Not really surprised. I kinda figured that out in middle school. Though it'll truly surprise me if we see one of these people 'do' practice what they preach.

Whales: They're whales. They're automatically awesome. This just proves it even more.

 

[Lucifron]

I was thinking of watching the duck penises at work, but thought the better of it. I'll have to wait until tonight.

 

[Kollega]

Well, now i know that my willpower being shite and my short-term memory being shite are related.

 

[Smudge91]

I'm so glad that I am not a duck after reading this, you think ducks are all lovely when your throwing bread to them.

 

[Wyes]

Jeez, even Ducks get more action than me

Just joking, rather odd topic for today dontcha think Lauren?

Don't you mean rather AWESOME topic?

Your concept of AWESOME is somewhat bizarre. Though, the whole evolution of duck sex does sorta inspire awe. The "that's batshit insane" kind of awe.

 

[MrSnugglesworth]

I...


Wow.

 

[wooty]

Oh shit, im sorry I watched that video now, that gross