Scientists Uncover Vampire Graveyard In Poland

Earnest Cavalli

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Scientists Uncover Vampire Graveyard In Poland



A newly unearthed grave in Gliwice, Poland contains four skeletons that appear to have once belonged to suspected creatures of the night.

While attempting to construct a road in the southern Polish city of Gliwice, workers stumbled upon an ancient grave site. In Europe this isn't particularly shocking as humans have been living and dying in that part of the world for millennia, but these particular corpses were something special. Each skeleton had been decapitated and its head had been placed between its legs. Further, the deceased were buried with none of their earthly possessions - an oddity, given that such has been the tradition in human burial for most of civilized history.

Of course, if your fellow villagers suspect that you might be a vampire, all standard burial procedures fly out the window (like so many screeching bats). According to ancient tradition, by removing the potential vampire's head and placing it between their legs, the mythological scourge should have a much more difficult time rising from the grave to feast on the blood of the living. This tradition also explains the spartan condition of the graves, as any items left inside the tomb could hypothetically be used by the vampire to dig his or her way out. If nothing else, our ancestors were very thorough.

There is one worrying issue with this discovery however: Scientists are currently unable to determine when these bodies were placed in the ground. Records indicate that anti-vampire burials took place in Poland as recently as 1914, and until the results of tests to determine the exact age of the skeletons arrive, researchers are operating under the assumption that they were buried in the "early modern period."

While the prevailing (and most interesting) theory surrounding these corpses holds that they were suspected bloodsuckers, there's also a competing theory which views the bodies as victims of cholera. Why did that necessitate the removal of their heads, either pre- or posthumously? That's unclear, but mankind has been lopping off heads with very little provocation for centuries. Is it that difficult to imagine someone seeing decapitation as a solid cure for cholera?

Source: Polskie Radio [http://www.thenews.pl/1/9/Artykul/141129,Vampire-graveyard-found-in-Poland]

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RJ 17

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Nov 27, 2011
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Awwww, I honestly was hoping there'd be a bit about wooden stakes lodged in their chests. But I guess the head-between-the-legs thing is good enough.

On a side-note, this is a perfect excuse for me to post one of my favorite Futurama gags!

:3
 

frobalt

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Something about using Edward Cullen as a representative for vampires is really sad.
 

Angelous Wang

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Oct 18, 2011
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I was expecting they found skulls with fangs. Which would have been an explainable mutation of longer canines.

But nope, just weird burial rituals.
 

Thaluikhain

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RJ 17 said:
Awwww, I honestly was hoping there'd be a bit about wooden stakes lodged in their chests. But I guess the head-between-the-legs thing is good enough.
Yeah, sometimes they get really zany, brick between the teeth, buried face down stuff.
 

Jamash

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Jun 25, 2008
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Realmikebob said:
And this story has a tag for Scotland because...?
For the same reason the source is attributed to the BBC, despite linking to Thenews.pl and not being reported by the BBC at all.

Scotland, Poland, British Broadcasting Corporation, whatever... it's all in Europe, so they're practically next door to each other, right?
 

Zauxst

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frobalt said:
Something about using Edward Cullen as a representative for vampires is really sad.
Indeed a shame towards tradition. Brad Pitt has done a better job than that sob cheated man.
 

stabnex

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frobalt said:
Something about using Edward Cullen as a representative for vampires is really sad.
Seriously, the worst part about this article is that the writer used a forest fairy instead of Bella Lugosi...
 

kailus13

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Mar 3, 2013
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To be fair, people who've been decapitated don't complain about cholera.

The picture chosen is a really bad choice. If someone didn't know the character, they might not be able to tell he's a vampire. At least get a picture with his fangs!
Earnest Cavalli said:
Records indicate that anti-vampire burials took place in Poland as recently as 1914.
And then they stopped, and the Nazis' rose to power. Coincedence?
 

Earnest Cavalli

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stabnex said:
For the same reason the source is attributed to the BBC, despite linking to Thenews.pl and not being reported by the BBC at all.

Scotland, Poland, British Broadcasting Corporation, whatever... it's all in Europe, so they're practically next door to each other, right?
Typo. Since fixed. Etcetera.