Seduce Me Review

[tmande2nd]

The objective is simple: hit it so hard that whosoever can pull you out will be crowned the rightful King of England.

HAHAHAH! Best summation of any game ever.

 

[JenSeven]

Wait, you gave a game that you honestly cannot recommend and obviously didn't enjoy a 2.5?
Isn't that a bit high?
What sort of redeeming factor did it have? What was worth the 1.5 extra stars?

 

[Spector29]

Wait, you gave a game that you honestly cannot recommend and obviously didn't enjoy a 2.5?
Isn't that a bit high?
What sort of redeeming factor did it have? What was worth the 1.5 extra stars?

The concept, gameplay and uniqueness probably all deserve at at least two stars.

 

[SonOfMethuselah]

Can't really believe that I just read a review about this game.
And, not like a completely throwaway, intentionally goofy write-up, but a legitimate critique, that, admittedly, wound up being pretty goofy.
Neat.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

The objective is simple: hit it so hard that whosoever can pull you out will be crowned the rightful King of England.

Dammit, Andy.

I guess this game will probably just fall off everyone's radar, then.

 

[Andy Chalk]

What sort of redeeming factor did it have? What was worth the 1.5 extra stars?

It wasn't a bad game. It was, as far as I could tell, bug-free, the art was decent, the mini-games weren't awful and it was, as advertised, pornographic. Based on our scoring system, 2.5 stars puts it slightly below an "average" game, which is admittedly something of an arbitrary definition, but I think a fair place for a game like this.

 

[VanQ]

I think I'll stick with good ol' Japanese eroge rather than this. They tried a bit too hard with the art and those character sprites are sitting somewhere in the uncanny valley, in my opinion.

I like the card game idea though, what were the other two game types? Was there no Blackjack or Texas Hold'Em? If Go Fish is really the best they can offer, I'd be disappointed.

 

[Draconalis]

The objective is simple: hit it so hard that whosoever can pull you out will be crowned the rightful King of England.

This has got to be the absolute best thing I've read this year.

 

[Lunar Templar]

so what your saying is the game failed to perform and left you unsatisfied

>.>
<.<

I'll show my self out .....

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

I thought this looked rather titillating, but I guess I'd pull out after a minute or two. Sex.

 

[Andy Chalk]

I like the card game idea though, what were the other two game types? Was there no Blackjack or Texas Hold'Em? If Go Fish is really the best they can offer, I'd be disappointed.

Nothing as complex as Blackjack or Poker, no. I'm terrible when it comes to cards so I'm not sure what they correspond to aside from "play a higher card than the other guy." It's all very simplistic stuff, though. The Euchre-style game is the most complex one in the bunch.

 

[awdrifter]

Looks like Western devs still have a long way to go in the dating sim/eroge genre.

 

[-Dragmire-]

Heh, that was an enjoyable read.

Sounds like Andy had more fun writing about it than playing it.

 

[Scorpid]

Sounds like a game from date sim from Japan. I've never really understood the appeal of girlfriend simulators.

 

[antipunt]

Am I the only one that doesn't understand the King of England joke thing

.__.

 

[Wertornion]

Just a great article and now we're done with this game.

 

[Ctmnt08]

Considering The Jimquisition is "technically pornography" the precedent has already been set!

not really. jimquisition is more of a gorefest.
and you know, riping someones head off and using the head with the still attached spine as a morning star to break other peoples head in is okay dokey, but the glimpse of a dick might upset little jimmy...

At the Escapist Expo, Jim stated that the age gate on his "Gay Mass Effect" video was because said video was "technically pornography," hence the joke. Admittedly, it's one of those you-had-to-be-there jokes, but it is a technically accurate joke.

OT: So what does this game say about us as gamers? Like, if this thing sells well doesn't it sort of pander to the old man stereotype of the gamer as a sex-addicted, violence-craving idiot? Even if it doesn't sell well, won't this still be used by anti-gaming advocates as an example of how we're all horrible perverts, even though pretty much none of us are playing the game?