Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone I could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle
Do you believe you're missin' out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through
And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone
The soft tones that drifted from my speakers were the only solace I could be granted today. Again I sat alone in my room with nothing but the drink in my hand and the slight ping of regret that my newfound apathy had brought along with it. Well...I suppose that ?alone? is the wrong word for it anymore. Now I was never alone no matter how hard I tried.
But what was the use in trying anymore? I had done everything in my power to be proactive in fighting the influence of their dark tendrils. I had put my life on the line many times trying to counteract the influence of the killer, trying desperately to tell my story to one that wouldn?t laugh me off as just being another insane rambler.
Of course it was all futile. It always was. The fire that had once burned inside me had been doused by the waters of misfortune.
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?
I took another sip of my drink and winced. I had been a little bit too generous with the gin for my pallet. It didn?t matter though...after downing a couple of these the integrity of my tastebuds would be demoted to a secondary concern. My drinking had somehow accelerated in these past months. At first it had been a coping mechanism for these horrid visions. Now...now it was just to take the shock away from their presence. The drooling and the grimaces were much less taxing on the sanity when fully embraced in the warmth of the rum demon.
A knock on the door. This should be good.
Do I divide and fall apart?
'cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands
I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
The crowd had gathered outside, chanting their misguided accusations. I sighed and pointed towards the repurposed ambulance sitting in the street in front of my home. The ignored it completely, blinded by the bloodlust derived from those that lay beyond.
There was a time when I would have cared. But now...there was no stirring of emotion.
I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
And we sleep inside of this machine
The execution was as swift as their judgment. A simple noose dangling from a tree. Honestly, I was glad they had enough foresight to bring a rope along for the ride. When these guys get the idea to kill off the last person who could even pretend to be helping, planning is rarely taken into consideration. I know that I should have been afraid when they placed the noose around my neck...but I wasn?t.
Apathy in the face of eternity is an odd proposition.