The self-styled King of Kumquats sat upon his orangen throne, deep in thought. He was in one of his moods. His servants always appreciated these moods, as they always meant an hour of no crazy demands from their "king," and no fruit being thrown at them when they failed to create a perfect replica of Kumquat Castle, formerly known as Castle Martyn, out of squash. The king was clearly troubled, however. Whatever had happened between the him and the messenger that had arrived earlier had left the king in a quiet anger and depression that arrived whenever he had memories of before the battle axe had come down on his helm, and the messenger fleeing in terror all the while swearing never to return, much like everyone who had come to visit Lord Martyn only to find that the King of Kumquats had replaced him.
"The Dark Magi," the king murmured. He struggled to remember what those words meant. He seemed to remember something about the old Martyn family having participated in some sort of ritual or something to get rid of a great evil. He sat there putting the fragments of his memory together when a servant tentatively approached him.
"S-sire," he stammered. "I brought you your supper." He stood there holding a platter of a lovely looking turkey that had been found wandering the castle grounds.
The king stared at him for what felt like ages. "Well," the king began quietly as he reached out for the pale hand of his wife. "Why hasn't the queen received her meal as well?"
"Er." The servant glanced at the queen, limply sat on her throne. He didn't know what to say. He was new.
"Well? Have you nothing to say? You will feed me, but let everyone in this castle starve?! Bring my wife food! And all my other guests and subjects! Have you no brain? Look at all these people! When are Sir Lemon and Sir Lime going to eat?!" He gestured around the room, pointing out his many loyal subjects and knights and squires and pretty women only he could see. There was no one sitting in any of the massive tables that were once full of followers of house Matyn that were all dead or had left after Lord Benjamin started talking to citrus fruit. The servant wordlessly laid the food down and started to walk away. "You bastard! Don't walk away from me! I'm not done talking to you!" The servant increased his pace slightly, but stopped halfway to the door to the kitchens, and fell over. Going crazy had done nothing to the king's aim with a crossbow.
"Hmph." The king grumbled. "Bloody servants. No sense. That's the only way they ever learn. Here my sweet. Take some of mine." He leaned over and placed half of the turkey down while he kissed her on the cheek. Her head slumped slighty to the side, revealing the long black cut across her throat. The king ate. He turned his attention to the dead servant on the floor. "Hey yiou! Get back to work! You never know when Lord Plum might visit! Or when that devilish King Asparagus might attack!"
The one other person that lived in the castle, the court wizard who had happily adapted the name Strawberry, stood behind the king's throne and smiled watching it all. Perhaps things would get exciting again after all with the Dark Magi around. He leaned down and whispered into the king's ear. The king looked at him and absent-mindedly said, "Yes of course, Strawberry." The wizard smiled again and left, leaving the King of Kumquats and his dead wife to rule over their imaginary subjects.