Shallowness- good or bad?

[OMGMOO]

OK, let me tell you about this... uhhh... friend i have. His name is Shane.

Shane is a really shallow guy who prefers blondes with long hair short skirts and big, round... blue eyes. He's had a crush for a long time on a girl the likes of the above description, but only based on physical appearences. Shane has never really talked to this girl much but he finds her so attractive that it's hard to really think about any other girls as anything more than close friends. One of Shanes female friends who was aware of the situation started to want to see him a bit more (legitimately, no jealousy involved).

Anyway, I guess it comes down to this: should Shane continue his pursuits of the first girl on basis of look, or give in to my... I mean HIS friends desires to be with him?

Even simpler: Shallowness; embrace or disregard?

 

[Riobux]

Shallowness is like Vampire Rain. There's simply nothing good about it.

 

[Cherry Cola]

This Shane fellow should ask that hot girl out. Then he will get rejected, lower his standards, and probably go out with his friend.

It's the way of life, man. Get rejected, lower standards, get rejected, lower standards, etc. etc.

 

[Dragon_of_red]

Shallowness is terrible.

I may just be speaking from what ive seen from experience, but all the really hot girls are either a) Incredibly Stupid b) Extremeyl Annoying C) A Whore.

Now im not syaing that is true to all hot girls, but in my experience, it is.

 

[David Bray]

Depends how old he is. Before 21 its quite unlikely it will matter because you just keep on moving on. I've had a couple of shallow relationships but they just fizzle out for the meaningful ones. It wont hurt him long term

 

[OMGMOO]

A lot of this advice seems to be coming from people with very valid points, all pointing towards the 'Shallowness is bad' end of the spectrum. Does anyone want to admit that they're shallow amidst all of this negativity around the subject?

In any case it looks like im gonna have to give Shane some advice he doesnt want to hear, but maybe it's for the best

 

[teisjm]

I think you should settle for internet porn, it's full of long haired blond chicks with huge tits eyes.

Don't start a relationship with someone unless you want more than just someone pretty to hang on your arm.

 

[Batfred]

And once you've (sorry Shane has) sullied her honour, you'll/ he'll be bored based on the possibility that she has no personality whatsoever. I guarantee that she has never even heard of a website devoted to gaming and intelligent discussion.

If the other girl is even slightly attractive, go for her.

Of course, a poke's a poke and no poke's no joke. But would the friend then not be interested in you/ Shane becuase she would be frightened that you will cast her off too after you have had your wicked way? A lot to think about, but I still say that the friend is the best bet.

 

[Batfred]

This Shane fellow should ask that hot girl out. Then he will get rejected, lower his standards, and probably go out with his friend.

It's the way of life, man. Get rejected, lower standards, get rejected, lower standards, etc. etc.

That's a pretty bleak outlook mate. It looks optimistic to start with and then you make it sound as if you'll just take what you can get even if it means that a troll is all that you can achieve. I hope that your significant other never sees this post.

 

[Cherry Cola]

A lot of this advice seems to be coming from people with very valid points, all pointing towards the 'Shallowness is bad' end of the spectrum. Does anyone want to admit that they're shallow amidst all of this negativity around the subject?

In any case it looks like im gonna have to give Shane some advice he doesnt want to hear, but maybe it's for the best

I used to fall for girls just because they where beautiful all the time... back in 5th grade.

Now I fall in love based on a combination. I don't want to date a total bimbo without a personality, but I don't want to date someone ugly, either.

 

[Riobux]

A lot of this advice seems to be coming from people with very valid points, all pointing towards the 'Shallowness is bad' end of the spectrum. Does anyone want to admit that they're shallow amidst all of this negativity around the subject?

In any case it looks like im gonna have to give Shane some advice he doesnt want to hear, but maybe it's for the best

If you want the absolute truth: Everyone is shallow to a degree. Everyone doesn't fall in love purely on personality. There's a saying I remember hearing which was something like: Your friends are people you can live with, a partner is someone who you can't live without. However, at least 99.5% of people wouldn't have someone who they can't live without as a partner. I know I wouldn't, the person who I was sure of that is gone. Maybe the person for you is gone, or will be gone when you meet them.

What I'm trying to say, is shallowness isn't a flick switch. It doesn't go on and off. It's a dimmer. It's a spectrum. It's a range of density. At one end, you have the pansexuals who are convinced they'll fall in love with people truly based on personality, but do sub-consciously have their little physical desires on the other end you have the people who embrace shallowness. They're the people who marry for money, power or for the sex. They probably have sex about ten times a month at one point in their life. I think hyper-sexuality is the term for this.

You also have the asexuals who have absolutely no meaning for sex. Are they shallow? To a degree, probably because they're more likely to think about the money, power and how they can profit from being with X person than Y person. Maybe better children? Maybe better financial situation? Who knows, but it's there.

So, the question you're asking should more be "who are very shallow and embrace the concept of shallowness and who are barely shallow". However, if you're looking for people who are not shallow at all, I'm afraid to say, they're all out of stock.

 

[Cherry Cola]

This Shane fellow should ask that hot girl out. Then he will get rejected, lower his standards, and probably go out with his friend.

It's the way of life, man. Get rejected, lower standards, get rejected, lower standards, etc. etc.

That's a pretty bleak outlook mate. It looks optimistic to start with and then you make it sound as if you'll just take what you can get even if it means that a troll is all that you can achieve. I hope that your significant other never sees this post.

So it is. But it's the outlook I have.

 

[Straz]

Well...
Just because you don't know this hot chick well doesn't mean that she aint a great person.
Just improbable.

 

[ZaronX]

Everyone is shallow in some respect - there are people we find attractive based on looks, certainly. We judge books by their covers, and what those covers tell us varies from person to person. Basing an entire relationship off of it, however, or only wanting to know someone over it is... unwise. It's rare to find a girl who's as golden as she looks, to the point I've a hard time thinking of a girl of the description you've thrown out as much more than a snooty priss who probably doesn't have much in the way of brains, and if she does she uses them to manipulate people into doing her every whim.

Not that I've ever dealt with any woman of the sort, of course. >_>

 

[BlindMessiah94]

This Shane fellow should ask that hot girl out. Then he will get rejected, lower his standards, and probably go out with his friend.

It's the way of life, man. Get rejected, lower standards, get rejected, lower standards, etc. etc.

That's a pretty bleak outlook mate. It looks optimistic to start with and then you make it sound as if you'll just take what you can get even if it means that a troll is all that you can achieve. I hope that your significant other never sees this post.

So it is. But it's the outlook I have.

I agree. Get this whole chick you have on a pedestal out of your system. If she says yes, great. If she says no, you can get on with your life, or even date your friend.
But if you date your friend while you have feelings for someone else you're just gonna wind up ruining this friendship by unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.

 

[OMGMOO]

I guess shallowness is a trait that most, if not all people won't willingly admit to possessing (I mean look at the first post, come on haha at least I made it obvious if only for comic effect), even though i think Riobux is right in saying that everyone is shallow to a degree. So this begs the question: how shallow should you let yourself become? And how shallow is Shane for his particular way of thinking, and how good/bad is that?

 

[Cherry Cola]

This Shane fellow should ask that hot girl out. Then he will get rejected, lower his standards, and probably go out with his friend.

It's the way of life, man. Get rejected, lower standards, get rejected, lower standards, etc. etc.

That's a pretty bleak outlook mate. It looks optimistic to start with and then you make it sound as if you'll just take what you can get even if it means that a troll is all that you can achieve. I hope that your significant other never sees this post.

So it is. But it's the outlook I have.

I agree. Get this whole chick you have on a pedestal out of your system. If she says yes, great. If she says no, you can get on with your life, or even date your friend.
But if you date your friend while you have feelings for someone else you're just gonna wind up ruining this friendship by unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.

And of course, let us not forget...

Spoiler: The Golden Rule!

Even if your Bro is your Ho... ya dig?

 

[JEBWrench]

I guess shallowness is a trait that most, if not all people won't willingly admit to possessing (I mean look at the first post, come on haha at least I made it obvious if only for comic effect), even though i think Riobux is right in saying that everyone is shallow to a degree. So this begs the question: how shallow should you let yourself become? And how shallow is Shane for his particular way of thinking, and how good/bad is that?

This shall be fun.

Shane isn't shallow because he likes what he likes. Honestly. People can have whatever preferences in a significant other they want. The only reason why someone should "lower their standards" (and by that I mean go for an inferior choice in their eye) is a lack of self-confidence.

 

[the1ultimate]

Tell your friend to resolve his feelings first. Perhaps by renouncing shallowness, or perhaps by seeking his idol's love.

Love can come from shallowness, and even shallow love can evolve.
If you don't change anything however, nothing will change. Or happen. And if nothing happens you...'re friend can't learn and improve, and may never find that which wasn't sought.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

And of course, let us not forget...

Spoiler: The Golden Rule!

Even if your Bro is your Ho... ya dig?

Link is broken bro. Can't hotlink to that site apparently.