BlindMessiah94 said:Link is broken bro. Can't hotlink to that site apparently.Hubilub said:And of course, let us not forget...
Even if your Bro is your Ho... ya dig?
Shallowness- good or bad?
- Thread starter OMGMOO
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Physical attraction is an important part of any romantic relationship, especially at the start. If 'this guy' isn't attracted to his friend at all, he needs to try and let her down easy, in an attempt to save the friendship. Pursuing a romantic relationship with someone you have no attraction for cannot and will not end well.
On the other hand, physical attraction can't be the only thing. If that is the only thing attracting 'your friend' towards this other girl, then 'your friend' should probably give it up. At least, assuming he's not the kind of hunk or hottie who can attract someone on the same shallow level that he's looking at this girl from.
The fact that 'your friend' has been silently watching her from afar for so long implies otherwise, and isn't very healthy, regardless. In any event, be direct. If 'your friend' actually want to date her then 'he' should ask her out. Otherwise....
If it were me, I'd think long and hard about the friend. 'your friend' and 'his friend' already share some interests, and she obviously wants to see if more could come from it. That she made the first move speaks a lot for her confidence and character as well. But, again, if it isn't mutual, then it could only end poorly. So, yeah, think about it. 'Your friend' needs to know what 'he' wants, and why 'he' wants it, before he can figure out what he should do.
On the other hand, physical attraction can't be the only thing. If that is the only thing attracting 'your friend' towards this other girl, then 'your friend' should probably give it up. At least, assuming he's not the kind of hunk or hottie who can attract someone on the same shallow level that he's looking at this girl from.
The fact that 'your friend' has been silently watching her from afar for so long implies otherwise, and isn't very healthy, regardless. In any event, be direct. If 'your friend' actually want to date her then 'he' should ask her out. Otherwise....
If it were me, I'd think long and hard about the friend. 'your friend' and 'his friend' already share some interests, and she obviously wants to see if more could come from it. That she made the first move speaks a lot for her confidence and character as well. But, again, if it isn't mutual, then it could only end poorly. So, yeah, think about it. 'Your friend' needs to know what 'he' wants, and why 'he' wants it, before he can figure out what he should do.
Shallowness is all good and dandy but you have to constantly remind yourself that when you start to fall for a girl who you only know through glances every now and then in the hallway or however you see her, it's only on looks and looks alone. Personality is much more important than looks, but looks can help.
Basically, look for a girl you can find nice and attractive, try to get to know her better, then try and make the relationship last... Unless you don't care to make it go that far.
In your case, definitly 'settle' for this other girl. You'll probably have a much better time with someone you know and probably have more in common with than some random blond with huge... eyes.
And on a slightly related note, why the hell is it that every single girl (or at least most, on a very unfair ratio) I end up with a crush on is a blond? It's seriously pissing me off! I like dark hair, black hair, even red hair, but no! Blond, blond, blond. Bah...
Basically, look for a girl you can find nice and attractive, try to get to know her better, then try and make the relationship last... Unless you don't care to make it go that far.
In your case, definitly 'settle' for this other girl. You'll probably have a much better time with someone you know and probably have more in common with than some random blond with huge... eyes.
And on a slightly related note, why the hell is it that every single girl (or at least most, on a very unfair ratio) I end up with a crush on is a blond? It's seriously pissing me off! I like dark hair, black hair, even red hair, but no! Blond, blond, blond. Bah...
Quite a few possibilities can emerge from most of your suggestions. I'll try to incorporate them all into this short 'chooses a scenario' type story.
Shane gathers his thoughts, and works up the courage to:1) Ask out Hot girl (go to 2.)/Ask out Friend(go to 4).
2) Hot girl says yes(go to 3.)/Hot girl says no(go to 4)
3)Turns out to be the love of my life (unlikely but the best possible outcome[for a shallow dude])/Shit turns bad and we break up(go to 4.)
4)Ask friend out and Friend says yes(go to 5)/Friend Says no(go to 6)
5)Friend turns out to be love of life(still great)/Friend turns out to not be love of life(go to 6)
6)Lose will to live?
Shane gathers his thoughts, and works up the courage to:1) Ask out Hot girl (go to 2.)/Ask out Friend(go to 4).
2) Hot girl says yes(go to 3.)/Hot girl says no(go to 4)
3)Turns out to be the love of my life (unlikely but the best possible outcome[for a shallow dude])/Shit turns bad and we break up(go to 4.)
4)Ask friend out and Friend says yes(go to 5)/Friend Says no(go to 6)
5)Friend turns out to be love of life(still great)/Friend turns out to not be love of life(go to 6)
6)Lose will to live?
I'm sorry, since when did getting rejected by free hookers equal needing to lower you standards? I mean, if she had values, morals, and less of a need to fuck on the first date then you might have something, but really, that hot girl is the lower standard.Hubilub said:
Real advice would be to raise your standards instead of lowering them. If all you want is the hot girl for her body then you have low standards anyway. Not saying she can't be attractive and have a personality, but personality always comes first. Your body can and will change over time, so just because a girl isn't hot now doesn't mean she won't ever be.
You may wish to direct "Shane" to my reply at the Relationship Problem thread, which can be found at the following link ----> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=26#5155766OMGMOO said:
The best cure for being trying to rid yourself from the shallow attraction is to go forward with it. Ask the hot chick out. Trust me, you won't feel bad if she's as bright as a 2 watt bulb. You feel relieved that you no longer have a thing for her. Or, maybe you'll find that 2 watt bulbs are your thing, and you'll be completely happy with your situation. Or.... maybe she's actually intelligent, and you'll be surprised. It isn't always the case that busty blondes have the I.Q. of rhubarb.
This is why I never read articles where beautiful people talk about themselves. It ruins the fantasy if I find out their idea of brilliant literature is Vogue magazine.
This is why I never read articles where beautiful people talk about themselves. It ruins the fantasy if I find out their idea of brilliant literature is Vogue magazine.
I wouldn't call what you're talking about "shallowness". It's just being honest. You're (physically) attracted to one girl and not to another. I guess it would be kind of shallow if you went out with the hot girl, found out she was a total *****, and still continued seeing her for the sex. But even that would just be you setting your priorities. I guess you could say I don't believe in "shallowness".
I also don't believe in lowering your standards or settling for less. Whoever you're in a relationship with shouldn't be your second choice or someone you think is just okay. You should be crazy about her. I don't think it would be fair to her otherwise.
I think you should probably follow the advice of some other people here to ask out the hot girl. If she rejects you and you, that's too bad. If then, all of a sudden you do feel attracted to your friend, that's fine; ask her out. If not, let her down easy and continue on your quest to find girls you are attracted to.
I also don't believe in lowering your standards or settling for less. Whoever you're in a relationship with shouldn't be your second choice or someone you think is just okay. You should be crazy about her. I don't think it would be fair to her otherwise.
I think you should probably follow the advice of some other people here to ask out the hot girl. If she rejects you and you, that's too bad. If then, all of a sudden you do feel attracted to your friend, that's fine; ask her out. If not, let her down easy and continue on your quest to find girls you are attracted to.
Of course everyone's shallow to some extent, but I'd definitely rather be with an ok looking decent person than a dickhead sexy bastard.
That's some good terminology I've got going on there.
That's some good terminology I've got going on there.
Eh, i would definitely ask the hot one out first. Let's face it: being attracted to someone is critical for any relationship to last, long term, and in the short term you'll probably have much more fun and you'll get this out of your system and find out if the girl REALLY is as great as the pedestal you've placed her on.
The key here is to not go all in with your emotions with this girl. Hope for the best, but prep for the worst. Protect your heart.
The key here is to not go all in with your emotions with this girl. Hope for the best, but prep for the worst. Protect your heart.