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Mister Mumbler

Pronounced "Throat-wobbler Mangrove"
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At first I was gonna raise the point that that is more horrifying than funny and that that has no humor unless one sees violence in it self as a means of humor.

Then the white car arrived.
My favorite part is how the man crossing the street wanders back into the camera frame right at the end to let everyone know he made it out all right too.
 
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Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Tis the season for this kind of recipe:

Rest assured, this wasn't OUR turkey, but I imagine the person this happened to was... moderately surprised.

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But, fun anecdote: Thanksgiving of 2016 was my and my girlfriend's first time cooking the turkey. My mom, sitting on a stool in the kitchen, agreed to walk us through the process. My mom's an accomplished cook who speaks in terms like "a dash," "a pinch," "some," etc., and I knew this going in, so I told her "you need to be very specific with us; we don't want to mess this up." She agreed. The prep went fine, and the last thing she told us was put it in the oven at 250 degrees right before we went to bed, then she and my father drove back to their hotel. We went to bed around 10pm, and the turkey went into the oven.

The next morning, the house smelled wonderful. We had a cup of coffee, smoked a cigarette, watched some TV. Around 9am, I figured my mom would be awake, so I called her to ask what time to take the turkey out of the oven. There was a long pause, then she finally said "you haven't taken it out of the oven yet?!?" I blamed her for omitting that step in the process, then ran to the oven. The turkey wasn't burnt, but it was pretty dry; nothing that some gravy couldn't fix, but it was certainly "well-done."
 

Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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I really wish you lot understood how accurate these impressions are. This guy's brilliant. I'd like to see him do all 20 Formula 1 drivers. Do an IMPRESSION of all 20 drivers, so we're clear.

 

Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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That looks way too much like a Xenomorph, before we even get into the actual horror that you can cook a turkey to look like that while still having a pan full of...whatever that liquid/bits is.
I thought the same thing!! They could probably recoup the loss and sell it to an "Aliens" fanboy as a "runt Xenomorph!"
 
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Worgen

Follower of the Glorious Sun Butt.
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Whatever, just wash your hands.

The Rogue Wolf

Stealthy Carnivore
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Xprimentyl

Made you look...
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Last Friday, I spent time in the kitchen with my grandfather making his vegetable soup. My Papa is very old school. He doesn't use measuring cups/spoons; he eyeballs everything, and everything he cooks turns out amazing. This time, I watched over his shoulder and wrote down everything I could.

This soup is famous within my family, and at his age, I was afraid we might lose it when we lose him like we did my grandmother's rice recipe. Everyone loved her rice, and it was only when she passed in 2005 that we realized no one knew how she did it. When the family learned that I helped Papa cook the veggie soup this time and wrote it down, I got about a dozen texts from people asking for the recipe. I haven't shared it yet as I need to sit down and refine it (it's mostly chicken scratch on a notepad,) but I'm not sure if I want to...

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Chimpzy

Simian Abomination
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Last Friday, I spent time in the kitchen with my grandfather making his vegetable soup. My Papa is very old school. He doesn't use measuring cups/spoons; he eyeballs everything, and everything he cooks turns out amazing. This time, I watched over his shoulder and wrote down everything I could.

This soup is famous within my family, and at his age, I was afraid we might lose it when we lose him like we did my grandmother's rice recipe. Everyone loved her rice, and it was only when she passed in 2005 that we realized no one knew how she did it. When the family learned that I helped Papa cook the veggie soup this time and wrote it down, I got about a dozen texts from people asking for the recipe. I haven't shared it yet as I need to sit down and refine it (it's mostly chicken scratch on a notepad,) but I'm not sure if I want to...

View attachment 5000
I wish I had thought to do that before my grandma died. I've gotten really close to replicating some of her recipes, but not exactly.
 
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