Was on reddit a couple of hours ago. Yeah, Christwire is satire...though it's always funny how difficult it is to distinguish between batshit insanity and a parody of batshit insanity...
Skyrim is teaching your children to be gay.
- Thread starter CL4P-TP
- Start date
Look at the comments on that website. I'd like to think the Escapist community is much smarter than the people making those comments.
I lol'd.
This clearly satire, and I lol'd enough to get rid of my headache.
Seriously though, Skyrim just increased it's jokes to 57.
This clearly satire, and I lol'd enough to get rid of my headache.
Seriously though, Skyrim just increased it's jokes to 57.
Christwire is satire. Pretty sure they deliberately insert mistakes regarding even basic facts about video games when they talk about them.
Not even religionists are that clueless.
Not even religionists are that clueless.
About 100% sure this is satire, what with the hilarious under-tones and completely wrong information.
I also get the feeling this is being used to trap gullible homophobics...
I also get the feeling this is being used to trap gullible homophobics...
Oh, I hope this is as good as their Portal 2 article, where they called it a glory hole simulator!
How could it be teaching my children to be gay? I don't have any kids.
Ok then anyway. If this were serious, which I have worked out via evryone elses posts it is not, then I would have reacted to the very first sentence.
If people are having a hard time telling that this is trolling then that shows that it's close enough to reality for people to belive it was written seriously.
That means that religion isn't far off from doing this. The fact that humanity could get into that state of sheer idiotic paranoia worries me.
It sincerely worries me that the line between mocking and reality for these things is so blurred now that something so ridiculous could actually happen and some might take it seriously.
Ok then anyway. If this were serious, which I have worked out via evryone elses posts it is not, then I would have reacted to the very first sentence.
While I get that this is satire and attempting to laugh at Christians because of their nonsense it does bring a worrying point to my head.
If people are having a hard time telling that this is trolling then that shows that it's close enough to reality for people to belive it was written seriously.
That means that religion isn't far off from doing this. The fact that humanity could get into that state of sheer idiotic paranoia worries me.
It sincerely worries me that the line between mocking and reality for these things is so blurred now that something so ridiculous could actually happen and some might take it seriously.
Guys,It's a joke site, like Fox News. Still, so much 'Failing Win' if thats even a word. My favorite parts are:
I even rated myself on the 'Sinometer'
[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/507/failsb.jpg/]
''If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to a far way lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.''
''In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist''
''Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard''
''When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations''
EPIC WIN/FAIL THING:
''Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.''
''Dragon Fisting ? Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each other?s mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.
Make sure to inspect the length and smell of your children?s finger nails on a daily basis.''
Sinometer? Really?
''In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist''
''Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard''
''When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations''
EPIC WIN/FAIL THING:
''Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.''
''Dragon Fisting ? Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each other?s mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.
Make sure to inspect the length and smell of your children?s finger nails on a daily basis.''
Sinometer? Really?
I even rated myself on the 'Sinometer'
Not to mention that Skyrim technically promotes zoophilia. My Argonian witchy maiden is so smexxy... UNF UNF UNF.
Wonderful satire indeed. I skimmed the article, but does it have a comments section? I'd piss my pants laughing if I found someone actually replying like an offended sanctimonious jerk. The best satire still comes from the Landover Baptist Community, seeing as they have a metric fuckton of flame letters you can peruse. They've offended other Christians, members of the Catholic prelacy, homosexuals, bisexuals and what have you... But curiously enough, they don't have a single encouraging email to show us from some sort of idiot who actually believes their crap.
It's weird, really. The bigots are incredibly outspoken IRL, but in here? Past the satirical sites, all you find are small, hateful whispers limited to Yuku boards administrated by rednecky types with a Doomsday fetish.
Wonderful satire indeed. I skimmed the article, but does it have a comments section? I'd piss my pants laughing if I found someone actually replying like an offended sanctimonious jerk. The best satire still comes from the Landover Baptist Community, seeing as they have a metric fuckton of flame letters you can peruse. They've offended other Christians, members of the Catholic prelacy, homosexuals, bisexuals and what have you... But curiously enough, they don't have a single encouraging email to show us from some sort of idiot who actually believes their crap.
It's weird, really. The bigots are incredibly outspoken IRL, but in here? Past the satirical sites, all you find are small, hateful whispers limited to Yuku boards administrated by rednecky types with a Doomsday fetish.
the fact that this exists satire or not is a pretty poor reflection on us, even worse that people are actually paying this much attention to it.
It's a satire site I just wikied it. Plus if it helps, if it comes from a Christian site that isn't dedicated to good will or love and all that jazz and you find the word "conservative" anywhere an the agenda, don't trust it. Just run, run away. Turn and don't look back.
We tried anal after playing Skyrim... we are the 99%RedEyesBlackGamer said:
Okay, I nearly fell out of my chair when I got to this. Well done.
Yeah, Blizzard! gawd, you always take everything too far!
In any case, this is the funniest thing I've seen all week. Christ, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. That takes me back...
the phrase "demon whack their sin staff" pretty much makes it obvious that it is.Daystar Clarion said:
In any case, this is the funniest thing I've seen all week. Christ, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. That takes me back...
They've actually reviewed the game, too!
http://christwire.org/2011/11/christwire-game-review-the-elder-scrolls-skyrim/
That first paragraph is gold!
http://christwire.org/2011/11/christwire-game-review-the-elder-scrolls-skyrim/
That first paragraph is gold!