Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[Ekonk]

"...Wait, the battle of Hastings? Wasn't that with the Shakespeare guy?"

No. No it was most certainly not.

Also there was this girl who could not locate Africa on a map. Seriously? It's like the second biggest landmass on the fucking thing.

 

[Ekonk]

My sister is a stripper. My family members -including myself- have each worked hard and made a decent life for ourselves... except for her. If you want to see failure pour out of someone's mouth whenever they talk, then you should go to Rhode Island and see my sister. Almost everything she says is stupid. The other day I finally answered one of her calls after a year, only to hear the words "You are moving to Chicago? Which Chicago?" Confused by her question, I merely thought she meant which side of Chicago. I told her I was moving into a condo near Wrigley Field. She meant which Chicago. Meaning, she thought that there were multiple Chicagos in the greater United States. She then asked me what state Chicago was in. I asked her what disgusting state her vagina was in and promptly hung up.

Now now, that's a bit harsh isn't it. She's still your sister.

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

In an IT-TEST that was set up in the most awkward way possible and by a complete twit when it comes to teaching. Most tests are written on a piece of paper and one of your instructions is to write neatly, this guy decides that the best way to write an IT test that isn't about programming or databases information is to make you write it on the computer in the same way as you would a regular paper test. One of the instructions were "please type neatly".

-_-

 

[Hauntghost20]

"My professor told me the sun was a star... what an idiot. He must think im stupid" -

*slow clap*

i dont know if your jokig yes its a star

 

[SirDeadly]

We were talking about chickens for some reason and one of the girls who sits with us said "chickens don't live in the wild." We just stared at her.

 

[Distorted Stu]

"My professor told me the sun was a star... what an idiot. He must think im stupid" -

*slow clap*

i dont know if your jokig yes its a star

Note the quotation marks. It wasnt me.

 

[Super Six One]

My dad watches alot of hisotry programmes so i like to wind him up by asking things like "The Crusades, was that when king athur went to afganistan to save jesus from being crusified?"

 

[Iwata]

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/taylor-lautner-fan-letter-to-universal-your-wolfman-ripped-off-twilight-9247

This particular bit of stupidity made me wanna track down this girl and force-feed her my Universal Monsters DVD collection.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Well considering the equation doesn't have an answer to it you can't find an answer to it.

It appears that I've missed off the = 0, you're the first person to point it out. Thank you. Either way, my point still stands.

 

[Abedecain]

GLaDOS: [Chell and GLaDOS are falling down a very long shaft] Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO!
[claps slowly three times]
GLaDOS: Oh good. My slow clap processor made it into this thing. So we have that. Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere... Well, we are going somewhere. Alarmingly fast, actually. But since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts. He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. And you just put him in charge of the entire facility.
[clap clap]
GLaDOS: Good, that's still working.

 

[Aphantas]

I once had a girl ask me how to work out how much fuel costs in total. I was shocked.
"Was there some vital step I took that was not obvious to others?" I thought to myself. Of course it was just Cost Per Unit x Quantity but it still amazes me to this day that she did not know this...in high-school.

Another one I know of was when one of my fellow hikers decided to make a burnt gum-leaf sandwich using a lighter. His ill-conceived snack had to wait though after he burnt his shirt instead. Again this was in High-School so he should have known better
Both are future Darwin Award winners

 

[uncle-ellis]

My friends say a lot of stupid shit
"I'd say by the third puff of my first fag I was addicted"
"A bear could totally beat a hippo in a fight"
"Shut up you crocodile ************!"
But the best has to be:
"There's two boys and one girl in this room, and were all a little drunk, why don't we have a threesome?"
And what followed where the worst 2 hours of my life.

It's funny because a Hippo could KILL AND EAT a bear.

A hippo would beat a bear so much its not even funny.

 

[Alon Shechter]

A history teacher asked us where in history we'd go to if we had a time machine.
Some guy answered the holocaust.
Some girl answered the Titanic.
I answered the Battle of Stalingrad
And then a different girl raged and called me and the guy Nazis because we want to go back to that time.
She wanted to go back to 9/11 to warn everybody and tell them to gtfo the building.

Then again, I've had my share fair of being called a Nazi just because i'm an Atheist, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.