Smart-A$$ to authority

[newwiseman]

Yesterday I come strolling home from a long day of dealing with over 500 kids jacked up on Halloween candy to find my street being blocked off by my local police dept. What happened apparently while attempting to serve a warrant for arrest the man they were looking for decided to hide in the attic, because that worked so well for Anne Frank, and because the police did not know if he was armed or not they decided to play it "safe".

Now the reason I critique is because while blocking off car traffic, presumably to clear the road for doughnut runs, they didn't stop foot traffic. For my safety they wouldn't let me enter my house because the house on the other side of my neighbors duplex is where the suspect was hiding out. I attempted to explain, rather loudly I'll admit, that if the suspect is armed it is most likely a handgun loaded with hollow point rounds and that being the case I would be perfectly safe in my home where there is a whole house between the perps place and my own instead of sitting on the side walk across the street where all there is is a single wall to protect all of us neighbors lined up waiting. After that tirade they made sit down on the side walk across the street from my house and in protest I immediately took to smart-assed comments to vocalize my take on the situation.

I believe the entire police force was on hand for this, well over 40 uniformed cops and an entire swat team of 19 wearing military issue combat armor armed with AR-15s, as well as at least 9 other cops and 3 negotiators in plain cloths, who had put on vests. This stand off had apparently been going on since 3:30 and when I arrived at 4:30 cops were still arriving. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

"There must have been a line at Voodoo Doughnuts. Can you guys give me a bacon maple bar? All my snacks are inside my place."

After awhile I realized I had my iPad with me so I started watching movies, as loudly as it would go. This prompted more than a few upset stairs from the guy standing around doing nothing so I said "I could be inside being quiet" after a while "just tear gas his ass I'm cold", later "if you need a flash bang I've got potassium chloride, aluminum powder, and magnesium flakes in my garage"

I made many more comments during the event, got some laughs from the onlookers. Regardless, when the whole thing was over, (the guy gave up, and came down), the SWAT negotiator came walking out (before the perp) and I said "What they didn't have a jelly filled for you, well make sure to pick up a bacon maple bar for me on your way back."

The negotiator quietly got in his car and turned it around but before leaving made a point of stopping next to me pointing and saying "Thanks for your help today" to which I replied "What help?" he responded "Exactly." To that I said "How about next time we do this at your place and you can wait for nothing to happen on a curb for three hours in the cold. You want help, try a stationary bike, it's probably easier on your fat ass than a treadmill"

Then he left and I was free to enter my home.

This isn't my first run in with the cops, certainly the longest, getting searched usually only takes a few minutes after all (as a white male with a buzzed head I very often "match the description"); but every run in with them I've ever had I've been a disrespectful asshole.

Now I ask you fellow escapists, how do you deal with "authority" figures, namely the police. Do you wait patently and hope for the best, do you gawk and take pictures, or do you inundate them with sarcasm and smart-assery?

I also have to say when I heard Gram mention a guy in his attic in Oregon on Feed Dump I almost thought he was talking about this incident for a second.

Update* So while everyone was on my street there where at least 2 assaults, 1 call of armed subjects, and a number of hit & runs. I'd really like to point out the priority 6 that had no officers arrive http://projects.registerguard.com/police/eugene/2011/nov/1/308908/ every other incident, http://projects.registerguard.com/police/eugene/2011/nov/1/, at least had a response, probably why the cars at the end of the street kept leaving and coming back. While most of the cops were sitting around doing nothing lots of shit was happening around town.

Update 2* So the official reason the blocked me from accessing my home is they needed the parking space, I'm not joking, I was just told this by my works Officer this morning. I couldn't enter my home because they seized my driveway. Also, I can't believe I didn't notice this (my neighbor is upset as hell about it), they didn't even clear the playground (it's small 1 slide, 2 swings) across the street from the house they were actually surrounding, there were kids playing. The guy in charge really didn't know what he was doing.

 

[SilentCom]

This is why you must don a mask and go vigilante on criminals.

Personally, I would have just recorded what was happening or leave. No point standing around, I'll come back in a few hours. Maybe hang out in a neighbors house if they'll let you in.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

I deal with authority figures who are only doing there job like a civilized human being, I don't try and make there jobs any harder.

 

[Roofstone]

First, and forgive me for this really.. You are kind off an ass.

And I am calm and cooperative with authority figures, they are only doing their job after all. And to their defense they couldn't know what kinda weapons the man had tucked away.

 

[McMullen]

I don't really think what you've done is something to be proud of. Your response to a potentially fatal standoff is to whine about how you can't get into your house and then make things difficult for the people trying to resolve the situation?

You have more in common with the kids jacked up on candy than you'd probably like to think. Entitled, spoiled, petty, possessed of horribly skewed priorities, and just plain unpleasant.

Just go do something else for a while. 3 hours out of the house isn't going to hurt you.

 

[dstryfe]

I would've asked if people had been evacuated from their homes; if not, I'd have simply attempted to return to mine.

Honestly, the only cops I've run into are huge douches. Cop was parked in my parking space when I got home. I got out of the car, gave the officer a nod, then headed for the door. The cop then remarked how I didn't thank him, and had no respect. I only replied with "I gave you a nod in acklowledgement, like I would to anyone else." Apparently, he thought I was trying to be a smartass, like you.

 

[newwiseman]

First, and forgive me for this really.. You are kind off an ass. But I understand you anyways I suppose.

And I am calm and cooperative with authority figures, they are only doing their job after all. And to their defense they couldn't know what kinda weapons the man had tucked away.

If he had an RPG I'd still be safer in my house then on the street. The head SWAT guy asked if he could see my attic (they wanted to know if there was a crawl space between the two sides in the duplex design) I told him no because I wasn't being allowed in and he was surprised that I wasn't being allowed in. He said "Your gonna make this hard on me aren't you, good for you, stand up for your rights." My neighbor let him look at his side of the attic.

Who ever was in charge just made a stupid cutoff point, that didn't make sense apparently to anyone but him, for who could enter their homes before I ever arrived. It should also be said that the other side of my unit was being allowed to stay in their place.

Also for a situation that started at 3:30 the negotiators didn't arrive until 5:00 (i showed up at 4:30), they didn't enter the house until close to six and the guy didn't come out until close to 8:00. I didn't say "just gas his ass" until I had been sitting on the sidewalk for over an hour, and didn't really get loud (after my initial upset rant) until the negotiators arrived.

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

You sound like a complete asshole. Your whole stance is invalid on the basis that they were doing their job and you decided to be a gigantic asshat because of it. Per department policy, if they block the street off, they have to block it off for every single person, and the people around you were just following policy. All you did was make their day harder by being a jerk, rowing your douche canoe down your ignorant river. Good work.

To answer your question, I deal with them like they are actual people...because they are. I've only had one rude police officer and I just shrugged it off. Everyone has bad days (in any profession). I've had far more nice officers than rude ones in my encounters.

 

[Roofstone]

First, and forgive me for this really.. You are kind off an ass. But I understand you anyways I suppose.

And I am calm and cooperative with authority figures, they are only doing their job after all. And to their defense they couldn't know what kinda weapons the man had tucked away.

If he had an RPG I'd still be safer in my house then on the street. The head SWAT guy asked if he could see my attic (they wanted to know if there was a crawl space between the two sides in the duplex design) I told him no because I wasn't being allowed in and he was surprised that I wasn't being allowed in. He said "Your gonna make this hard on me aren't you, good for you, stand up for your rights." My neighbor let him look at his side of the attic.

Who ever was in charge just made a stupid cutoff point, that didn't make sense apparently to anyone but him, for who could enter their homes before I ever arrived. It should also be said that the other side of my unit was being allowed to stay in their place.

Also for a situation that started at 3:30 the negotiators didn't arrive until 5:00 (i showed up at 4:30), they didn't enter the house until close to six and the guy didn't come out until close to 8:00. I didn't say "just gas his ass" until I had been sitting on the sidewalk for over an hour, and didn't really get loud (after my initial upset rant) until the negotiators arrived.

Fair enough, but you should have said so at your original post, you made it sound like you sat there whining all the time. =) I apologize.

 

[Leole]

-snip-

Let's assume they let you in your house, for whatever reason. What if the guy hiding in the attic manages to escape it, and find your house, maybe because you left your light on, maybe because he felt like it, unimportant details, and he decides to take you hostage. This scenario, unlikely as it might be, is still a concern for the Police Department, they have to make sure there isn't even the possibility of collateral damage.

For them, it was safer that you'd be sitting on the street, with them, so they could protect you more easily.

And, TBH, you being an ass doesn't help anyone, I understand that your day might have been long and hard and very tiresome, but that's no excuse to being annoying to other people who are also doing their long, hard and very tiresome work.

 

[Korolev]

I've never had to deal with the police, although my father has had to three times in his life - once was in Malaysia when the government started to try to harass him over an expired rifle license. He tried arguing, got nowhere, and just gave up the rifle. The second time was in England - his place was robbed and some valuable antiques got stolen. The police announced that they found the culprit... and then told him that he couldn't have any of his stuff back due to a "pending investigation". Despite repeatedly asking for his stuff back for well over two years, the Police never gave it back, and now all his valuables have either been sold or are decorating the shelf of a police man's home. The third time was his fault - he forgot to put his vehicle registry sticker on his car, and the police fined him for it.
Talking to him, relatives and friends who have had to deal with police has taught me this: While it might make you feel good to talk back to a police officer, it never does you any good. It's a really dumb thing to do. By all means, if a Police officer is doing something illegal or harassing you (as they sometimes do), then sure, complain loudly and do whatever you can to bring the issue to the courts. Contact the ACLU (if you're American) and stand up for yourself. But there are smarter, more effective ways of standing up for yourself than by making sarcastic comments. If the police wronged me, I'd do two things: Try to get the officer's name and try to get the name of any witnesses around me. Then I'd go to a lawyer. Antagonizing the police officer to their face, even if he/she is being a jerk, does nothing to help you, and only gives them additional reasons to make your life miserable.

In the case you pointed out, about the police not allowing you to go back into your home, realize that they are just doing their job. They have a LEGAL duty to prevent you from going near if they have reason to suspect a suspect is armed with ANY type of firearm. If you did get hurt, they could be held responsible. It's not really their fault - the litigious nature of the United States has ensured that the police are hyper-paranoid with regards to the safety of civilians during these events. They are following standard procedure, and, when you REALLY think about it, those procedures aren't there to antagonize you. They are there to stop anyone from getting hurt. You automatically assume that they were keeping the road clear for "donuts". Well, what if someone got injured? What if an officer got shot, or the suspect got shot or tried to harm himself? What if the suspect tried to escape on foot? There's at least 5 good reasons why they would want to keep the road clear in such a situation, and none of them involve donuts or them trying to pick on you.

 

[mikey7339]

Your douchness hit Chad Kroeger levels there.

If there was a doughnut shop close by and you had an Ipad why didn't you just go there, get a cup of coffee and do exactly what you would have done in your house for a few hours. Your attitude probably has a lot more to do with you getting searched constantly than 'fitting the description' cause of your haircut.

I have always treated cops with respect and it has got me off with a warning every single time, no matter what I did wrong.

 

[VincentR]

I treat authority figures (specifically police in this case) with respect and decency. I've never had any trouble with them and they're simply doing a service to the public. Also, as a nineteen (nearly twenty) year old male, I've never actually had any run-ins with the police. My friend works at the police station on campus, so I see the police fairly often, but I've never actually been pulled over or anything.

Although recently I had my first encounter when I drove over a screw on the road and my back tire went flat; pulled over and popped on the hazards. Had a cop at my back within about sixty seconds, helping me out by providing light and just friendly chit-chat while I put on the spare. So yeah, I don't see any reason to give any police trouble.

 

[Agayek]

It depends on the situation. If the cops are being reasonable, I am reasonable in turn. There's no call to make life any harder for someone just doing their job. Now, if the cops are being dicks about it, I'm not going to be very cooperative.

In your situation, the cops were just doing their jobs. Yea it's annoying, but it's SOP to clear the area of civvies if the suspect might be armed. Really no reason to be a dick to them about it. I'd have just left and done something else for a couple hours.

 

[mjc0961]

every run in with them I've ever had I've been a disrespectful asshole.

Oh good. The more I read this story, the more I thought to myself, "Wow, this guy is a massive asshole." Good to know that at least we can both agree on something here, because that's about the only thing we'll agree on.

What sticks out for me is what the negotiator said as he was leaving. You didn't help a damn thing, you just made their jobs a little harder to do. Good job. How would you like it if some of them came to your job and started heckling you and playing loud movies while you're trying to work? Not a whole lot? Hmm, maybe think about that next time. And no, you not being able to get home did not entitle you to act like that before you say "Well my job isn't keeping them out of their homes so it's not the same thing." It is the same thing because neither of you are entitled to act like such dickheads to each other.

Also, I'd like to point out that this is a pretty good example of a great group of cops. Everyone knows how popular those stories get where someone is acting like the TC was to a police officer, and the officer loses his cool and does something he shouldn't to the guy. But here's a story where someone was being a jerk and the police kept their cool and did nothing to you. Sadly, the headline "MAN IS ASSHOLE TO POLICE, POLICE REMAIN PROFESSIONAL" doesn't sell newspapers and bring people into webpages to read, so this story will never get near enough coverage to match all the times an officer lost his cool and did something stupid. But my kudos goes out to these cops for not tasing, macing, or doing anything else to you while you were being a complete tosser to them.

Let's assume they let you in your house, for whatever reason. What if the guy hiding in the attic manages to escape it, and find your house, maybe because you left your light on, maybe because he felt like it, unimportant details, and he decides to take you hostage. This scenario, unlikely as it might be, is still a concern for the Police Department, they have to make sure there isn't even the possibility of collateral damage.

For them, it was safer that you'd be sitting on the street, with them, so they could protect you more easily.

Hey, what's this? Logical thinking? I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to do that on the internet.

In the case you pointed out, about the police not allowing you to go back into your home, realize that they are just doing their job. They have a LEGAL duty to prevent you from going near if they have reason to suspect a suspect is armed with ANY type of firearm. If you did get hurt, they could be held responsible. It's not really their fault - the litigious nature of the United States has ensured that the police are hyper-paranoid with regards to the safety of civilians during these events. They are following standard procedure, and, when you REALLY think about it, those procedures aren't there to antagonize you. They are there to stop anyone from getting hurt. You automatically assume that they were keeping the road clear for "donuts". Well, what if someone got injured? What if an officer got shot, or the suspect got shot or tried to harm himself? What if the suspect tried to escape on foot? There's at least 5 good reasons why they would want to keep the road clear in such a situation, and none of them involve donuts or them trying to pick on you.

You also need to stop that. Your logic is ruining TC's story about how the big bad cops kept him out of his house for hours for no good reason.

 

[BanthaFodder]

there's TONS of cops in my family, so I know the shit they have to go through.
when a cop tells me to do something, I do it.
every time they go out on the job, there's a chance they might not go home to their family. I understand this and feel no need to act like a dick and make their lives any harder for no good reason.

 

[Broknhead]

i agree with u, cops overreact all the time, and pull crap like this. like u said 40 cops + swat + others, all for 1 dude who maybe had 1 gun in an attic. i got no respect for the governments own anti-civilian mercenaries.

 

[EHKOS]

Yeah I'm only a smart ass when they direct their attention to me. I would have said fuck them and walked into my house. If they tried to evacuate me I would have then asked for a warrent. I don't like authority.