So I play games, read comics, and the like so this by defualt makes me a man child that is immature

[sumanoskae]

.

If I had the choice between making 1280 a month and playing Dark Souls, Persona 4, Mass Effect, Red Dead: Redemption, KOTOR II and all the great works of art this so called "Junk" has to offer, and working a desk job making 2540 a month and never playing these games again, just so I could make some extra cash and sit in a cubicle for the rest of my life, I'll take the games.

Ideally, I'd hope that most people are capable of making a decent salary and still hanging on to their hobbies. I see zero relationship between a desk job (or any higher level professional career path) and hobbies.

Well obviously if you've got both that's great, no conflict there, but the point is that you shouldn't give up on doing what you love to make money.

Sure, but what I'm saying is that I don't think that's actually a real choice that people are making. A person making $1280/month working full time is actually making less than minimum wage (at least where I am) - and I have genuinely never seen anyone have to choose between living on the brink of poverty and having hobbies. Never. I mean, I have friends who work absurd shifts in oil sands jobs who still have hobbies, my sister is a doctor, my SIL is a nurse and I have cop friends who regularly work 12+ hours at a time and they still all have hobbies. And compared to all of them the folks working standard business hours have way more free time.

Yeah, I've met people who claimed they were working low-wage retail jobs because they felt that they'd have to give up on whatever fun thing they were into, but it was never a real thing for any of the people who eventually "sold out".

Obviously for plenty of people it's not a choice, but this example is clearly about someone who has other options.

And yet the people lecturing the OP clearly don't see it that way, so I think it's relevant to mention that, hypothetically, if such a choice existed, enjoying yourself is not a waste of time.

 

[Xanadu84]

First, ask yourself if there is some truth in what they say. You are biased, and even if they are exaggerating, ask yourself if you are spending too much time and energy on things that won't make you happy in the long run. Don't dismiss the question. Saying "No" is a fine answer, as long as you are willing to also answer "Yes", even if that answer is uncomfortable.

If the answer is yes, consider what changes you should make, not to throw away your interests, but to achieve a better balance.

If the answer is no, refer to the above comic.

Afterwards, demand a little more respect from the people criticizing you. Be brutally honest. Ask them to explain what about your job and schoolwork isn't living up to their expectations, why good grades and a full time job is not enough for them. Explain why you find these things fulfilling. Explain what they mean, and challenge them to share. Break out your connisuer-artist beret, and explain the complexity and beauty behind your interests, and ratchet up the complexity until they go cross eyed. Explain why you think THEIR leisure strikes you as the waste of time. Be polite, just point out that there are multiple viewpoints, none of which are correct for everyone.

 

[Lovely Mixture]

As I've gotten older the difference between child and adult becomes merely the amount of experience you have.

Who uses the phrase "grow up" anymore?

I've had adults accuse me of being a "whiny teenager" when I've made calm and well-reasoned arguments to them.

 

[Worgen]

Essentualy if its your money your making and spending than what they think doesn't matter, you are free to be as much of an adult as you wish. And to define adult how you wish, do not let others tell you what it means.

 

[chiefohara]

Not to belittle your family, but if you were someone who spent all their time on cars, or working out, or creating music or art, or sports, they'd probably complain about that to you anyway.

People who vent or pass judgement on other peoples passtimes are upset about something completely unrelated to you, and are just venting on you.

Not saying its right, just saying it happens.

Just dismiss them as ignorant, and tell them they are being ignorant. Works for me.

 

[Raikas]

And yet the people lecturing the OP clearly don't see it that way, so I think it's relevant to mention that, hypothetically, if such a choice existed, enjoying yourself is not a waste of time.

The people lecturing the OP are judging his interests - that has nothing to do with choosing a job. People make fun of each others entertainment choices all the time - people who listen to top 40 music get called sheep, people who read romances get called girls (if they're male) or saps (if they're female), people who follow sports get called hooligans and yeah, people who game get called kids. Generally a person with enough confIdence will brush it off and those people won't pester them about it in the future.

That's just human behaviour.

 

[sumanoskae]

And yet the people lecturing the OP clearly don't see it that way, so I think it's relevant to mention that, hypothetically, if such a choice existed, enjoying yourself is not a waste of time.

The people lecturing the OP are judging his interests - that has nothing to do with choosing a job. People make fun of each others entertainment choices all the time - people who listen to top 40 music get called sheep, people who read romances get called girls (if they're male) or saps (if they're female), people who follow sports get called hooligans and yeah, people who game get called kids. Generally a person with enough confIdence will brush it off and those people won't pester them about it in the future.

That's just human behaviour.

But they specifically implied that his interests were interfering with "Getting a real job". They aren't treating his hobbies like hobbies, they're treating them like life choices and being judgmental over what they believe to be a waste of time.

And they're not even arguing logically within the false choice that they've created; as I said, enjoying yourself is not a waste of time, it can even be productive. The idea that financial success supersedes everything else in importance is idiotic. Even if I had to choose between more money than I needed and video games, I would choose video games.

Simply because it's common behavior doesn't mean it's good behavior.

 

[Raikas]

[
But they specifically implied that his interests were interfering with "Getting a real job". They aren't treating his hobbies like hobbies, they're treating them like life choices and being judgmental over what they believe to be a waste of time.

And they're not even arguing logically within the false choice that they've created; as I said, enjoying yourself is not a waste of time, it can even be productive. The idea that financial success supersedes everything else in importance is idiotic. Even if I had to choose between more money than I needed and video games, I would choose video games.

Simply because it's common behavior doesn't mean it's good behavior.

Sure, but OP is still finishing a degree, so assuming they're not a mature student, they're probably at that stage (let's say between the ages of 17 and 24) when people just give random advice on these things. It's not something that needs to be read into so deeply - and it's certainly not worth dramatic statements about being happier making minimum wage - that's the kind of thing that makes people less likely to come around to your side, not less.

 

[Spartan X1]

Wow, thanks everyone, its good to see some positive opinions

 

[sumanoskae]

Sure, but OP is still finishing a degree, so assuming they're not a mature student, they're probably at that stage (let's say between the ages of 17 and 24) when people just give random advice on these things. It's not something that needs to be read into so deeply - and it's certainly not worth dramatic statements about being happier making minimum wage - that's the kind of thing that makes people less likely to come around to your side, not less.

You don't have to read deeply, they flat out said he was wasting his time, somebody went as far as to try and sell his stuff.

What does that even mean "It's not worth dramatic statements"? It's not worth having an opinion about? It's not a fallacy worth pointing out? It doesn't demand a great deal of effort to express what's wrong, I don't really see what you think it's not "Worthy" of.

 

[Therumancer]

Latley I've noticed a change in my family and friends. A majority of them have jobs and other responsibilities, I understand this is necessary but latley especially from one set of friends and my mother I've been getting the message that my behaviour as is amounts to me being a failure because I invest money into things like figures and comics, things neither of these people take stock in at all. This makes their attitudes toward me like their ashamed of me. Kinda sucks when you've heard what I've heard from these people."Like you need to grow up cause what your doing is sad" Now I'm no slouch I'm a junior in college working towards a bachelors degree in biology, I maintain good grades and try very hard in evrything I do. I've worked a highly physically demanding job as a farmhand for the past three years making 320 a week. something I'd like to point out that would be impossible for these people to do. I feel these people are mistaking the forest for the trees they see my world which is so vastly different from theirs that they mark it as failure. I just wanna know if any of you guys or gals feel this way, like the things that make you happy lessen you in the eyes of people you care about?
Also recently all my things were threatened to be sold because "Its just abuncha junk that you've spent to much on and its time for you to get a real job so you can get out of here when your out of college" Now I understand I do need a job that will build my resume and I am looking for a job related to my degree this summer.

I have to agree with Jack The Potato, I don't know both sides of the story here. Being interested in the same things you are it's my instinct to want to defend you, as it is for most people hanging out on forums like this.

To be fair, I will say that just going by what your saying I can sort of see the other side as well. Your defense actually doesn't stand up very well on examination. For starters your in college, presumably spending a good amount of money to attend, and are pursueing a degree you don't even have a solid, long-trm plan for, since your stuck just trying to find a job for it over the summer. Your employment as a farm hand is pretty bad when you get down to it because while that's pretty good for temp work, it's not exactly the kind of thing your likely to do for long term employment, being physically demanding it's not going to remain that easy when you get older, and your one injury away from not being able to do it anymore, while working in a physically demanding job that makes such injury pretty plausible. I'd imagine that $320 a week didn't include benefits either... in short having held a job as a meniel labourer that just requires a pair of hands and a strong back isn't exactly much of a defense.

Now, to be honest, I'm guessing a lot of the problem is that your friends kind of figured out a path they at least want to try for, and your mother thinks you've been coasting long enough. The problem is less the games, comics, etc... in of themselves, rather than you seem to be spending more time focused on those things rather than figuring out what your going to do with the rest of your life.

This is pretty much just me trying to play Devil's Advocate based on what you've said, and if this is close it is a fair point. To be honest if I had kids, I'd be a little concerned if one of them was majoring in something like biology and had no definite career goals for that knowlege. Biology being something you typically learn in order to round out another skill set, rather than focus on in of itself, without a very specific plan.

To speak for myself, when I pursued higher education I decided to major in Forensics. In a law enforcement sense getting a job with that usually involves knowing people as much as anything, but I had some aquaintences, and also knew some places in the private sector that seemed to be lapping up people like that for research (ie find out why our product testing killed the animal). I also knew that if I failed it gave me some things I was going to learn along the way that I could use to find a job in security or whatever. I did wind up finishing to complete the degree (financial reasons) but was able to pretty easily get into casino security, taking a job as a janitor (*ahem* Enviromental Services) very briefly to get my foot in the door, switching departments, and then effectively moving beyond the "grunt" level pretty quickly. This was back when the casinos down here were a *really* good job, and they were taking security as a department a lot more seriously, but all of that is another subject, as is my full backround and what happened there, but suffice it to say I did that job for a decade, and knew I'd have options like that as a fallback plan even
if things didn't turn out great in college.... I notice you mention your degree, but in comparison seem to have absolutly no idea what you can do with it or ideas on how your going to employ yourself with it.

Don't take this the wrong way, it's just my thoughts.

I'll also say that your not the only young person in this position, a lot do coast through life, especially in their college years, and inevitably that leads to concern from friends and family.

 

[GonzoGamer]

I think Joseph Campbell said it best: Follow YOUR Bliss.