So I've got a virus....

[Headdrivehardscrew]

last virus I got was Antivirus Soft. Annoying little program that blocked almost every executable. Luckilly, it let me put combofix in when I tried to move it from a flashdrive. Nice and clean now.

COMBOFIX is a sweet sweet melon farmer.

However, people have already managed to severely mess up their computers with it, even if there was no infection to start with. It doesn't come with much of a manual, but usually there are instructions. People tend to not follow instructions.

 

[Aprilgold]

Haven't had one since Windows 7 was released. Since that time I just got a new computer with Windows 7 and rarely get even small little things like spyware.

Now I feel like I should scan my PC.
Is Microsoft Security Essentials good enough, or should I get something stronger?

Get something stronger, mate. Microsoft / Windows is not allowed to give out the best things for free because then its Anti Capatilistic and against the law. Malwaere seems to be a favorite, a good combo is Malware and AVG.

 

[EHKOS]

Kaspersky keeps me well protected, but before that I just kept getting those little viri that slow shit down. Could never find the fuckers either.

 

[Yopaz]

That steam hack scared me. I started changing all my passwords. After changing my email password I remembered I never registered for the forums. Then I forgot my email password...

I didn't register on the forums either, but the hack entered some of the servers where the main details were stored, so changing your emails and stuff was actually a really good idea :/

Removing payment information, certainly. Changing password, maybe. Forgetting I changed the password the moment I realized I didn't register... Definitively not. I did manage to trace my thoughts though. I learned from xkcd that the best password is a short sentence rather than jumbles letters and numbers. Easier to remember, harder to hack.

 

[Vlywncint]

I normally use a few antivirus programs that don't conflict all the time and hit cntl+shift+del everytime I'm about to get off the computer. It works well enough.

 

[Neko Pounce]

Stop using Windows.

problem solved.

Mature comment there, good sir.

 

[razer17]

You should stop watching those videos then.

I have had one nasty virus. It was a virus posing as anti virus software saying I needed to get rid of a virus I didn't have. Up until the virus of the anti virus.
Then I installed Norton Anti Virus. Problem solved.

Really? In my experience Norton has been fucking useless.

I got it free with my laptop, and soon after I got a similar virus to the one you had - where it says install this antivirus to get rid of the virus. I tried to get rid of it using Norton, didn't work. Contacted their customer services, and they told me it would cost £70 to get rid of it. Told them no thanks, googled it and got rid of it in less than 10 minutes. Ergo, Norton are moneygrubbing, useless motherfuckers.

 

[Headdrivehardscrew]

http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/Norton

yea, Norton isnt a good Anti Virus as it would have you think.

Funny thing is, the people who have absolutely no clue all 'have Norton', even though it usually is of the preloaded kind, and they manage to click away any and all notifications without reading a single one of them over the course of years.

Norton was number one when people were emulating MacOS on Amiga computers to enjoy some Netscape goodness when the internet was fresh... yeah, it's been a while.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

I'm using Avira, but that shit's the paranoid freak of the antivirus world. According to it, I've got a bucketful of bad DLLs across my infrastructure. Unfortunately, all of them are files I know to have installed myself or to have been installed by legit programs.

I recently nabbed Saints Row: The Third on PC, and the CD install made Avira go freaking insane. It's a *legit* CD, and the antivirus somehow mistook every other file for some sort of trojan. It went to the point where my PC was plodding along and Avira bugged me with the need to make a restore CD.

*sighs* Kaspersky's the best on the market, currently. It's not bloatware like Norton's stuff, and it's adequately complemented by Malwarebytes. Everything else pretty much sucks. Tried AVG before, and it was blind as a bat. Avira's good, but it's way too sensitive at times. Either that or the team responsible for its virus definitions is made up of paranoid idiots.

"Oshi-! We have a Paul.dll! Paul.dll! That does *not* sound legit! ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIP!"

Which is ironic, seeing as the PC port of Fable 3 actually installs a Paul.dll to the system. Don't ask, I had to install it for my cousin who'd just received it for birthday and couldn't wait to get home to try it out.

I don't visit shady sites, so my machine's mostly clean. My father's all over the place, though, so I have to nuke the family laptop from orbit two or three times a year. Same story as the guy with his ignoramus grandma.

"Yeah, but the site had some real info about TAMA drums! It was professional!
- Dad, what does a forum dedicated to enthusiast drummers know about PC scans?
- Well, it *looked* legit...
- You want to scan the PC? Use the stuff I installed, and nothing else."

That sort of exchange happens more often than you'd think. Which is kinda depressing.

 

[liveslowdiefast]

I got what i think is the autorun virus, was fucking hell. luckley only was on one account, so i could still the computer to find how to get rid of it.

 

[Da Orky Man]

I had an especially nasty one a while ago that essentially stopped me form using ANY programs. Just after logging on, everything would look fine until you tried to run a program. The program would then attempt to run, and fail to do so. I'd then get a black error screen within a few minutes. Damn thing stopped me from using Avira to kill it. So I eventually managed to rewind my system back a couple of days while keeping it busy fighting Avira. I have no idea how that worked, but it did.

 

[Loud Hawk]

You should stop watching those videos then.

I have had one nasty virus. It was a virus posing as anti virus software saying I needed to get rid of a virus I didn't have. Up until the virus of the anti virus.
Then I "uninstalled" Norton Anti Virus. Problem solved.

Fixed it for you.

 

[monkey jesus]

Not to wave my tech-wanger around too much but I deal with widespread virus infections on a large scale very regularly. Worse case I ever saw was some poor sucker who picked up a virus that spoofed the gateway to his network segment sniffed all the traffic on his network. Unfortunately he was on a large residential network that had minors connected so we had to call in the police. Now we did try to convince the Police that the guy was probably just another kid with a virus but they didn't buy it and that kids browsing habits got him arrested in front of all his housemates.

I've only ever had one infection and that was when I installed a dodgy mod for Call of Duty United Offensive that changed the games menu's to Russian and played an admittedly cool Russian song instead of the correct music.

It is piss easy (technical term) to get a low level infection even if you aren't visiting dodgy sites etc, but in most cases recovery is not that difficult. AV is worthless unless its up to date and tbh I run a few Windows boxes without it, they are mostly gaming rigs that I don't surf on or access mail etc. When I do have to poke around the less friendly bits of the internet I'll use a Linux install, possibly a Live CD if its high risk.

Your best defence is preparation, restore points are you friends, use them. Backup anything you can't stand to lose in a separate location (external HD's are ideal just don't leave them connected constantly) and re-install your OS if you don't trust or don't have a restore point.

Pro-tip: backup your Steam game library so you don't have to re-download 100's of gigs if you need to re-install.

 

[ParadiseOnceLost]

The last virus I got posed as a antivirus. Every time I attempted to open a program or go on the internet it blocked me and said it was not safe becuase X program/website might be infected and I needed to give them money. I restarted my comp into safe mode and ran my anti virus program, which solved the problem.

 

[teqrevisited]

The last one I wound up with was one of those fake anti-virus scanners. Was horribly put together. All I did was mess with its registry and it stopped replacing itself. One more delete and a proper scan later confirmed that it had gone to silicon heaven, along with all the dead calculators.

 

[imnot]

The last one I wound up with was one of those fake anti-virus scanners. Was horribly put together. All I did was mess with its registry and it stopped replacing itself. One more delete and a proper scan later confirmed that it had gone to silicon heaven, along with all the dead calculators.

Wouldnt it go to silicon hell, where all the virtual boys went?

 

[Trippy Turtle]

I had Antivirus action. Apparently even my log off script was a trojan. That was hard to get rid of.

 

[teqrevisited]

-
Wouldnt it go to silicon hell, where all the virtual boys went?

Good point. And a fitting end to malware or, indeed, makers of said malware. An eternity of nothing but nauseating redness and headaches.

-Edit for great justice / tiredness.

 

[Shakomaru]

Oh gosh I had a really bad one. My Laptop wouldn't connect to the router and it would freeze up when I tried to do anything.

 

[demoman_chaos]

My dad has gotten a few on his pc, and since he didn't have a windows disk I had to install Linux (that and I didn't want to have to bother with Windows viruses again since I know he was going to go to the porn). Shortly after, he was bidding on something on eBay. He let the computer sit idle on the page for most of a day and eBay auto-logged him out. He lost the auction and blamed Linux. The computer ended up outside on the back porch and was buried in snow (it snowed after the toss). The computer was never to live again.