So Let's Talk About Sex....

[Rolf]

I personally think like you do. Sex should be special and i would like too wait unthil i meet someone i love before i do it.
And since you asked i don't like the kind of people that has a ton of partners.

 

[Jake the Snake]

I'm a pretty tolerant person when it comes to whole kinds of sex. No matter how you feel, there will always be people who see it one way or another.

Look, sex, is just a biological process. People used to do it without putting much thought into it. But it also can be used as a powerful example of love, as agreeing to sex used to be taking on the risk of having a child (a risk that still exists today...duh) which means you must like the person a little bit if you're engaging in such an act.

Personally, I see it as both. Sex is just sex. But it has the potential to be more than that. And I'd like to experience what its like with someone I plan on spending time with on a regular basis. No not a soul mate. Not a spouse. Just a girlfriend that I liked, and had been dating for a bit. If your enthusiastic about the relationship, you should both be able to express it right? The sex itself doesn't insinuate you're going to last forever. It does insinuate you both mean something to each other though, right?

The only thing I have a problem with is "Open" Relationships. You are either in a relationship or you are single. If you are sleeping around, you are single, and you are deluding yourself if you think any differently. Treating each girl you "date" like a side project is not cool. If you like someone, you should at least respect them enough to give them your undivided attention

 

[zelda2fanboy]

There's no sense in being downright irresponsible, but at the same time, I always kind of admire women who sleep around a lot. Look at it from this perspective. Just about every STD can be prevented by using a condom (correctly). The only major one it can't is herpes, which doesn't kill you and breakouts are easily detectable on men. If you're a woman, you can take birth control pills and reduce the chance of pregnancy and if worse comes to worse, you can get an abortion if you really want.

Problem is, guys can't take the pill or get an abortion, so if you impregnate a woman you have to legally support the child for 18 years. Guys also can't really SEE if a woman is having a herpes outbreak. So women kinda have all the power in that situation, so if they enjoy sex, I say good for them. So to summarize my position:

Men who sleep around = careless idiots
Women who sleep around = sexy

And I'm right with you on marriage. Greetings fellow atheist!

 

[yoyo13rom]

That doesn't sound like love. Rather it sounds like some greedy **** wanting to divorce you for all your shit.

That's why I don't believe in marriage. True love doesn't need all that bullshit. When you're really in love with someone, you know it and you believe them when they say it. When you need so much reassurance that they really love you, perhaps that love isn't all that after all.-

Now reflecting on it, yeah, most of the stuff marriage implies doesn't actually translate into love. It implies more of a "materialistic" love. But in modern society the true essence of love has kinda dried up. All the feelings of love have been replaced with materialistic equivalents.
You don't love someone because he makes you feel good emotionally, you only love him because he pleases you sexually.
You don't love someone for his personality, you only love him for his looks.
You don't love someone for his emotions towards you, you only love him for his money.
Side note: I think I may be coming up with OCD on making lists and stating out the obvious.
But that's how shallow modern society has become. to be fair not all society is like that, but an alarming part of it, is.

Anyway the case may differ when it comes to religious marriage(or so it did in the case of my father and mom).
Dad was always afraid of "getting married". Of making a "dumb" ritual he didn't believe in. But until he met my mom he was rather a man-slut(probably close to triple digits, I don't actually know).
After 5 long years of togetherness, mom needed reassuring that he won't just dump her when he sees a hot dumb blonde, and wanted to take it to the next step, and by asking dad to ask her to marry her("you know I'm not getting any younger!"), she asked him to make a leap of faith. It is said that if you truly love someone you'd do anything for them, even marry them(no matter if you believe in the institution or not).

But that's just my take on it. And fyi I come from a pretty religious nation(over 87% go to church and are Orthodox, but funny as it may be there was never in history a rule to enforce this religion upon people. Guess we're conservatives taken to the extreme.) and this really makes marriage as an institution a must here. I mean it's hard to imagine that 2 people that truly love each other won't get religiously married.

Anyway, this little rant was more about marriage and less about sex so to be OT:
"Casual" sex helps you gain sexual experience and keeps you stay fit(biologically it's awesome), but it can never truly be "just sex"(you may be emotionally dead if you don't have any feelings towards your sexual partner).
But if you think there is a special someone out there for you(like I do), then casual sex would just translate as slutyness and general infidelity(if you know there's a red haired nerd out there that will rock your world in every way possible, why are you wasting time with this dumb blonde that's in your pants?)
I think that kinda covers all my views on the subject.

 

[yoyo13rom]

Im 17 never even had a GF, and personally its not that big of a deal, if I get a GF yay I dont it dosent change anything. As for sex, well I personally think its more of an intimate thing, and think 2 people should love eachother before having sex, casual sex just seems to lessen it. I wont stop people from doing what they want, but I dont approve of casual sex.
Atheist btw no religious interfereance.

Yep, you can have "casual sex" really easy with your hand/finger and it is the same(if it's just casual)
Although there is a funny upside to casual sex with other people: you meet new people XD

 

[Silva]

No, no. I agree, she probably is lying as is everyone at that age when it comes to sex. But the problem is that even if she is lying, she still has that mentality and that persona. It's rather sad really that people try to become something they're not in order to fit into peer pressure.

Yes. There really shouldn't be a scoreboard for sex. If people think that it's a win or lose style game, then that will only make them treat it loosely as something that isn't both sacred and profane, a knife's edge of experience that can create life and/or (if we are irresponsible) do a lot of damage to it.

Indeed there is. Like I said before, people feel more obligated to do so in the western societies for....hell I don't honestly know why, it's just seen that way. Perhaps it's the media that is to blame. Making out only those who fuck constantly to be successful.

Oh I have no doubt that the media is a huge influence on this. Look at celebrity magazines, health magazines, Hell even look at game concept art and characters. Everywhere, sex is used as an advertisement. We see models of both sexes on every damn poster everywhere, because everything has to be beautiful in the most superficial way to get people's five seconds of attention as they walk by.

A great deal of psychological technique goes into the creation of advertisements. And by social and business processes there is a link between advertising and journalism, so what benefits one will be done by another - why else would, say, Dolly have a big spread of "how many times did Miley Cyrus have sex this year?" The content makes the readership unhappy with their lives so that the ads in the magazine work better because the models look so much happier than we feel while reading the magazine.

I will agree with you on the inferior feeling. Even as someone who sticks to his own morals, I get that feeling. It's only natural. I can't imagine how bad it is for some people. While I may weep from time to time that I feel unloved or whatever, there are those who feel even worse off than I do and the only thing to blame is the image that this society shows as being "the best." If you're not like this, you can't be socially accepted, so anyone with any actual morals or decency is seen as an outcast.

That's the bravery part of it, and that's why I'm not just stroking egos. You suffer for your choice, and you know it, yet you still do it. It's obvious, because otherwise, would you have really made this thread?

Of course, we can choose to be leaders or followers; to either find our own idea of "the best" or go along with what others want. If necessary, there is always the option of starting your own social movement. And everyone starts those alone, trust me on that... but people will listen if you further the idea, as you might've found in this thread.

Mmmm yes, stroke my ego Huh? Oh yes, well I wouldn't say that necessarily but yes, in order to not really give a fuck about what others thing and to not give into pressure like others is a great feat in any situation. Sex, drugs, or even your own personal style. Those who stick to their own ways that they truly believe to be good without outside pressure or pressure brought on by the society should be commended.

Absolutely. And sadly, they are not, a great deal of the time. Thus my post!

Pretty much the whole point of the thread right there. You hit it perfectly, good sir. Well played!

This is probably the most reasonable and logical post in the entire thread and for that, I thank ya! ^-^

No, thank you for giving me the opportunity to comment, it's a good discussion that you've evolved here. ^^

Hey! I find that offending!
I'm religious but I don't have anything against premarital sex. Although I think that if you want to wait for the right person to come by and love in the whole meaning(not just sex, but love as in really love, as in want to be with her love, as in you want to be with her forever love; I doubt there is a more passionate love than one that requires eternal commitment), then why shouldn't you marry her first?
Anyway that's just an opinion and unfortunately as many opinions it doesn't matter to much to the world outside the individual's head...

I'm sorry, but you appear to have mistaken my reasons for saying what I said. I was not saying that religious influence is a bad thing necessarily. Quite the contrary. I find that despite the problems with traditionalism against progress in the world today, there are many things in the world that we can thank a faith system for.

I'm merely admiring Julian here for taking a choice without the religious influence to force his views. In other words, he's come to a similar conclusion to some more conservative youths on this issue but with logic and personal trait assertion, rather than faith. That takes more strength of character, not least because among agnostic and atheist youths it is unlikely to be a typical stance towards relationships. In other words, he's defying social pressures without the aid of religious influence to take his own moral stand. I think that's brave.

It might be the equivalent, from your more religious perspective, to living and enjoying life as fully as possible without believing in a God or a Heaven - believing that there's nothing after death. That would also take amazing personal strength, at least in the eyes of those who do believe, since it's just not something you can remove easily without grief if you've grown up with that idea of immortality.

Even if I didn't agree with him, that confidence would certainly give me respect for any person.

And when your true love is in the hospital and they will only admit the spouse, you'll wish you had eloped. Marriage has an awful lot of benefits besides making it easier to write your will.

It does have such benefits.

But should it, really? How much do vows really mean in a Western culture that has a ridiculously high divorce rate?

 

[yoyo13rom]

Hey! I find that offending!
I'm religious but I don't have anything against premarital sex. Although I think that if you want to wait for the right person to come by and love in the whole meaning(not just sex, but love as in really love, as in want to be with her love, as in you want to be with her forever love; I doubt there is a more passionate love than one that requires eternal commitment), then why shouldn't you marry her first?
Anyway that's just an opinion and unfortunately as many opinions it doesn't matter to much to the world outside the individual's head...

I'm sorry, but you appear to have mistaken my reasons for saying what I said. I was not saying that religious influence is a bad thing necessarily. Quite the contrary. I find that despite the problems with traditionalism against progress in the world today, there are many things in the world that we can thank a faith system for.

I'm merely admiring Julian here for taking a choice without the religious influence to force his views. In other words, he's come to a similar conclusion to some more conservative youths on this issue but with logic and personal trait assertion, rather than faith. That takes more strength of character, not least because among agnostic and atheist youths it is unlikely to be a typical stance towards relationships. In other words, he's defying social pressures without the aid of religious influence to take his own moral stand. I think that's brave.

It might be the equivalent, from your more religious perspective, to living and enjoying life as fully as possible without believing in a God or a Heaven - believing that there's nothing after death. That would also take amazing personal strength, at least in the eyes of those who do believe, since it's just not something you can remove easily without grief if you've grown up with that idea of immortality.

Even if I didn't agree with him, that confidence would certainly give me respect for any person.

First of all I should be the one asking for an apology. I was quick to judge and I though you were discriminating religious folk, as in you only agreed with the idea "wait for the right person to come" as long as it didn't come from the mouth of a man of faith(I can't seem to get this expression out of my vocabulary for some reason).

About Julian, I consider him(like most of the people here) to be really nice and healthy-minded kid (oh, how I miss being called a kid...). I do agree with most of his core ideas but I find that there are slight differences regarding some minor details(which will never be the same and will always vary form person to person).

I do like (and am also surprised that) he as an agnostic/atheist(didn't bother to remember) came to a really good conclusion about relationships and sex, imo.

Anyhow, I really must apologies for instantly labelling you as a "all religion related things are just plain stupid, and so are the people how believe in them"(I mean more often these kind of people and less the ones that go: "let me hear you're side of the story and then I'll tell you mine and then we may have a rational and logical discussion on the matter while drinking a good glass of vine and listening to some music").

I would go now all: "but I think I understand atheists and theists 100% because of my life and special power to listen to other people and try to understand things from their point of view", but that would be just me showing off(the attention whore in me had to say something). So I'll just leave it as this.

P.S:

there are many things in the world that we can thank a faith system for.

Wait, what? Would you mind giving some examples, because even I have some problems finding them(undisputed ones at least).

 

[Georgie_Leech]

Depends... but really, I'm bugged by the people who count. What, it's a tally system?

 

[raunchious]

None of you geeks have ever been laid, so what are you basing this off of? Pretty much everyone is a slut compared to you

 

[Eggsnham]

I don't care much, granted, there is a point where it just get straight up ridiculous, but still. It's their life, and I have to say that sex is good, so I can understand. Sorta. I mean...

HUNDREDS of men?

Wow.

 

[TheXRatedDodo]

My sex life is my business, nobody has any right to judge anyone else's sexual habits as right or wrong in any way shape or form because morality is completely down to personal perception.

I have nothing against casual sex and sex in commited relationships. I have no problems with 3somes, 4somes, orgies or a simple roll in the hay with your loved one.
I wouldn't partake of casual sex if I was in a relationship, and I'm not going to promise to anyone to not fuck more than one person while I'm NOT in a relationship.

I have no religion other than my own spiritual beliefs which are not based on any form of deity, so there is nothing swaying my beliefs on sex and sexuality in that way.

Live and let live for fuck's sake.

And for the record, I'm currently in an open relationship. We're completely in love, and the fact that we have other people round to play with us will never change that. \o/

 

[Yokai]

I've gotten two perspectives on the subject from a couple of acquaintances. Example One could only be classified as a womanizer. He made no attempt to disguise the fact that he entered relationships for the sex, and was completely disinterested in long-term commitment. His problem was that he objectified it to the point where he nearly forgot that an actual human being came with the naughty bits, and ended up offending and hurting several girls by being completely insensitive and essentially using them. This came back to bite him in the ass when he encountered a girl he had real feelings for, and she rejected him because she knew about the way he usually handled relationships.

Example Two, a girl, was the victim of someone like Example One, and avoided commitment specifically because she was afraid of the other person using her. Since then, she's been going at it with whoever strikes her fancy, swinging both ways to boot. She doesn't do it for a momentary thrill, though; she remains friends with most of her bunkmates and seems to genuinely enjoy the intimacy. When an open relationship is that consensual, I suppose I see nothing wrong with it. It's just a different sort, and not something that should be condemned so quickly.

Personally, I think it's best to wait until you meet someone you truly care about, simply because it's a rather momentous occasion, and one that should be valued rather than taken for granted.

 

[Brandon237]

Julian King, You have earned +3 respect points with me now. I would wait for 2 things before I do the deed: A, to be in a long, committed relationship, and B, to be at least 18.

Sleeping around just sounds stupid and slutty to me, *flame shield up* but that's my take on it.

For those of you wondering, I am 16, a virgin and an atheist, so my opinions on sex are not affected by religious influence.

I'm 15, Virgin and an Atheist.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

*A wild lurker appears*

-An excursion through hyperbole forest-

Let us use logic and math to be our guide and trusty orienteer.

There have been specific numbers 'laid' about in regards to quantity of sexual partners which would seem to be 'promiscuous' in their accuracy.

For a 19 year old to have over 100 separate partners the person in question must have started a regiment of locating and establishing an entirely new person to have sex with averaging about once every 3 weeks starting from age 12 nearly non-stop for about 7 years. (Not to mention the amount of sex involved if you re-use some of the partners at least a few times.)

Public Query: Is it reasonable to believe above mentioned task possible for a child between the ages of 12-19?

Clarification: The frequency of sex or amount of partners will not make a female, "loose".

OT: Attitudes towards sex tend to be set initially by the definition of sex. When I express that I don't mean the text-book definition of the action, but the meanings similar to what a "high-five" is and what it means. (i.e. a high five is to hands hitting each other) it meaning is constructed on an instance to instance to person to person basis. The same with sex. So it all depends on your own unique definition of the act. Some have a romantic view of it others a causal hedonistic view.

"Sex" like "God" is not clearly defined and has no stable consensus among people ergo everyone's construction of what sex means is correct in relation to the self, but not correct in relation to outside one's self. One should always be careful when expressing something that is not true outside of one's self most particularly if one is keen to pass judgment.

Public Query: If the disadvantages (STD & unplanned Pregnancy) of being promiscuous with sex where nullified would it be amoral to be promiscuous?

 

[Wintermoot]

I personaly believe sex and open realtionships are up to the couple I am still a virgin mainly because I dont have a GF

 

[Spinozaad]

Haha. These kind of topics are always fun. I remember my own thread, that somewhat questioned the rather fierce opposition to casual sex, casual drugs and casual-other-things on this board. It wasn't pretty.

It wasn't pretty at all.

There's nothing wrong with sleeping around. Nor is there nothing wrong with waiting 'for the right person'. Of course, I personally doubt there's such a mythical creature as The Right Person, but that's subjective.

Actually, it all is.

To a girl, sleeping around can be both empowering as it can be slutty. A guy sleeping around is just as slutty/awesome as a girl doing this. Pre-conceived notions based on what's socially accepted is just that: subjective, arbitrary bullshit.

Nothing is set in stone.

So sleep around, but if you do, at least take some precaution. Lots of sex is fun, but STD's and babies are not.

 

[AndyFromMonday]

I believe people should have sex whenever they want to with whom they want to. I personally don't see sex as something intimate or special. To me, it's nothing different than eating or pissing.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

Sex is always good.

ALWAYS.

There would be many a dainty fellows in federal penitentiaries across the land that would be inclined to disagree with the validity and accuracy of that statement, good sir.

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

I sorta feel the same as you. Like, I'd rather have sex with a girl that I love than just going around looking for random girls to fuck. I've had sex with my girlfriend whom I love so very much, and to me that's better than doing it with a girl you really don't know. That's the way I think about it. So you really aren't alone

 

[nipsen]

The truth? Sex is an important part of an intimate relationship. And if you'll wait out of principle, or insist that the person you have sex with has to be the one you're going to be with for the rest of your life - you're going to ruin your life. Either one way or the other.

I mean, no need to sleep with as many people as possible. Or have sex with everyone you're intimate with. But finding the right partner involves looking for them, 's all I'm saying.