So Let's Talk About Sex....

[Julianking93]

Or more specifically, your feelings towards casual sex and romantic sex.

Just something I'm curious to find out, how does the Escapist feel about open relationships, casual sex or people who sleep around a lot?

This is something I've been wondering about for some time now but never really got around to asking it. I was talking with a certain user here who shall not be named, who is in full support for casual sex and open relationships. Now, I think I've made my stance on the subject clear by now, but for those of you who don't know, I am the type of person who wants to wait for someone I love until I have sex so needless to say, I don't agree in the least with those types of people who go round having sex with as many people as possible.

Note that I'm in no way saying my way of thinking is better, it just works best for me. I personally don't see the point in going around fucking everyone you possibly can when you have your hands to give you the same satisfaction. For example, I know a girl who is 19 and has had sex with 29 men. And she lost her virginity at 17.

Now I may be a prude or I may be close minded with an old fashioned way of thinking but am I the only one who is bothered when you hear about people like this?

And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds. Personally, I don't see the point of that. Thinking about things like that makes me very uncomfortable and I know that's just me but I can't be the only one.

I'm all for sexual freedom, but when it gets to that point, it becomes a little much.

So, Escapist, what do you think about all this?

For those of you wondering, I am 16, a virgin and an atheist, so my opinions on sex are not affected by religious influence.

 

[Tydanubus]

Safe sex can be held in the palm of your hand.

Har har.

 

[Marter]

I've got roughly the same feelings on this subject as you.

I'm against "sleeping around". It just kind of makes sex seem less...intimate, I think. Kind of downplays the entire experience. I would much rather sleep with someone I truly care for, than just some random person.

 

[The Man With the Soap]

She lost her virginity at seventeen? Damn, that's late. My friend's son was born when we were in eighth grade.

Besides, sex (as with anything humans do) has no meaning except the continuation of the species, nothing more.

 

[Viking Incognito]

Eh, who you do is up to you. (alliteration is fun)

 

[Serenegoose]

All my relationships are open - I myself am polyamorous, but I'm not especially interested in sex. This is a big reason why my relationshops are open. I understand I'm not very good at fulfilling a partners sexual needs, but I still want them to be happy, so if they can find someone who can, they can go for it.

I'm not bothered by others sexual appetites, however I am bothered when they don't practice safe sex. It should be taken as a given.

 

[Aerodyamic]

Being in an open, polyamorous relationship, I'm totally cool with them, provided that communication is open and paramount in the relationship, and all parties are responsible about their sexual activiites. Mind you, none of the people involved in my situation are randomly sleeping around.

On the other hand, I'm technically the 'slut', in my situation; at last count, I'd slept with more than 4 times more partners than anyone else involved, and being that I'm straight, that cuts the prospective pool in half, immediately.

 

[Grayjack]

I usually see people who sleep around to be whores.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I don't really think I can object to stuff like that, except on the grounds of being quite stupid. I'm sure there might be exceptions somewhere, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

As for me...random casual sex ain't my thing. I wouldn't think I'm prudish or anything, I'd just prefer being in an actually-committed relationship.

 

[Julianking93]

She lost her virginity at seventeen? Damn, that's late. My friend's son was born when we were in eighth grade.

I know plenty of people who had to leave school in the 8th grade because they got pregnant.

It may be a little late, but it's still under legal age here.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Im of the mind set that sex is best saved for Marriage or at least a stable relationship.
If you have casual sex then that's your decision and i wont judge you because of it.

But one thing i don't understand is Open Relationships.
Really, if your in a Relationship with someone why would you sleep around with other people?
I just don't get it and i personally think its wrong, but that's just my opinion.

I don't think less of people who have casual sex but, i agree that some people go really nuts.

 

[goodwithwords08]

Safe sex can be held in the palm of your hand.

Har har.

I would like to give you a high five but I am pretty sure that would be a bad idea...

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Not a fan of casual sex.

I don't like the idea of "Sex is just sex." because I have found it to be a very emotional experience. It's one of the closest things you can ever do with another and I don't think it should be taken lightly, but seriously.

I would only have sex with someone I deeply loved. It's just me and her sharing that special bond that no one else can share. It ours and no one else's.

 

[Shock and Awe]

Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds.

Im sorry I just cannot believe that. You would have to be a very successful prostitute to get that kind of number.

OT: I personally do not really mind casual sex, nor do I romantic commitment. Depends on the current situation.

 

[Souplex]

Sex is fun.
More sex is more fun.
Condoms work very well.
Like anything, sex is more fun when you're doing it with someone you like, but it's still fun with people you don't know so well unless they start with weird stuff you're not comfy with.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Sex ist SEX! Sure I'll do it and enjoy it if I like the person I'm with but yeah. Oh one of my best friends she has had sex with over 20 people and shes 16!

 

[Bocaj2000]

*snip
And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds. Personally, I don't see the point of that. Thinking about things like that makes me very uncomfortable and I know that's just me but I can't be the only one.

I'm all for sexual freedom, but when it gets to that point, it becomes a little much.

I agree with your point. There is a difference between the ideal of free love and being a skank. I just find it a shame that free love is tarnished by the image of being physically unclean. It's a good concept for those who believe in it. Granted, I'll have no interest in an "open" relationship, but I understand it.

 

[Gxas]

Sex to me is... well... a bit overrated. Perhaps because I haven't found that person yet. So far, its been very... eh... I mean, it felt good, but it was nothing to write home about (not that I would write home to my family about that I've had sex).

 

[child of lileth]

Personally, I don't like the idea of casual sex. I only do it with a partner that I really, really care about. I've seen some people that have a disgustingly large amount of sexual partners in a short amount of time, and I really can't see why they'd want to be like that.

 

[ShadowKatt]

Well, morality is subjective, and as such what one person views as objectionable may be perfectly fine by another. I know someone as well that I found out has pretty much a new boyfriend every week, sometimes two or three every week, all at the same time. My first thought was...well, we just won't go there, needless to say it wasn't very high, but she's fine with it, and in the end that's really all that matters.

Determining what is too much is really only possible if you're speaking in terms of addiction or obsession. According to the DSM...IV? V? I forget which one they're on now, any behaviour is only a problem when it's done impulsively and has a degenerative effect on what would be considered a normal life, go to sleep, go to work, etc. Until the behavior begins to interfere with those, it's still considered justifiably normal, regardless of what anyone things.

Now, on a purrsonal level. I'm 24 and I'm a virgin. I...will probably always be a virgin. I always had this grand ideal of what sex should be like and had my heart set on what my first time would be like. All very unrealistic but I find it hard to let it go(Note: Having sex is considered normal and by my not having sex due to a mental hangup technically I can be classified as having a mental disorder as well). That being said, I find it hard to imagine what life is like for these people that have slept with a dozen, two dozen, 50, 100 people in the space of a decade, but at the same time I don't have a hard time believing it.

I also believe though, that the people that are sleeping around with a hundred people aren't getting anything out of it on anything more than a physical level. The only emotional connection they have is that they didn't spent last night alone, so it's all good for them. Couples in a healthy relationship that have good, fullfilling sex don't need to go out and find someone else to fulfill their sexual needs, and that's one of the leading causes of divorce in this country. If one of the partners isn't getting what they need out of the relationship, they will seek it out. We are human. We have needs, and we have the build in programming down in the recesses of our DNA to find that which we need to fill that void in our life, both physically and emotionally, and keep the species going, aka getting busy.

Whew, long answer. Hope that hit the nail on the head.