So many men are whipped these days

[Ionami]

Really my only complaint is that you said "Missus" WAY too many damn times in your OP.

My god.

Bottom line is this - You don't treat your girlfriend the way you treat your buddies. And if you do, then you've got a very unusual relationship, and therefore you will have to understand that other couples are not going to behave the same way you do.

And like someone else said here, perhaps your friend enjoys spending time with his "missus" more than you? Personally if I'm given the choice between a night of gaming and a night of sex, I'm going to take the sex. In fact, you give me a choice of basically anything and sex, and I'm going to take the sex.

This shouldn't really be a problem for you, ultimately. My guess is, (And if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong and fair enough.) that maybe you wish your girlfriend and you would act more like your friends and their girlfriends do, and therefore you're a little envious of what they have, resulting in the furious bunching up of your undies at the idea that a man would actually decide to place his significant other as a priority over one of his "buddies".

 

[Bagaloo]

'Whipped' is just an objective viewpoint.
To paraphrase Hobbes: "We can't know what other people are thinking". How do you know that your friend just doesn't prefer spending time with his significant other?

I've been in situations where some of my friends have gotten into relationships and spent a lot of time with their new partner, but I put up with it because I respect him as a friend and I knew its what he wanted to do.

However, I also had a chat with him about how it was kinda sad that we didn't get to see each other as much anymore, and he completely agreed, and took steps to bring a little more balance into his life. Obviously his significant other took priority, but that should be fairly obvious, given the title significant other. And because we are friends I completely understood, I would probably opt to spend more time with my girlfriend if I had one.

Bottom line; demeaning you so called 'mate' with the title "whipped" isn't going to help the situation. Grow up, have a proper conversation with him about it expressing that you wish to still be a part of his life as well, and work things out like an adult, instead of this childish "Waah, so and so isn't paying attention to me, I must inform the internet!".

 

[Erana]

Bottom line is you are whipped if you constantly put your missus before your friends. She is a part of your life, not the entirety of your life. This is the point that most guys struggle with and that is why so much of the male population is so so whipped. And it pisses me off!

Girlfriend: Noun, portmanteau of the words, "Girl" and "Friend."
1. Find a girl.
2. Become friends with her.
3. Propose a relationship between you and her in which you would add sexually-related intimacies to your current relationship.

I don't understand why you guys keep complaining about your girlfriend if you aren't actually friends with her.

No, that doesn't work. I know girls think it works though, but it really doesn't. I have tried at her request, but the moment she realized she was really being treated as a friend I had sex with and that she didn't have priority over any of my friends, she asked to change back the relationship to 'normal`. Only, I was enjoying this way to much and didn't want to go back to traditional relationship so she broke up.
At least, now that one girl knows the deal.
Basically, not every girl is goint o like coming with your buddies for open mic sessions on Hip-Hop nights.

Well, a relationship should be more than just "hanging out." You should be able to speak of the most personal topics to each other and find understanding. Where some friends serve as amusement, your girlfriend should find a level of intimacy in mind, body, and spirit. The sheer quality of your relationship should dwarf your all the time you've spent with normal friends.
Of course, I have high standards, but I wouldn't enter a relationship until all of these were met.

 

[RheynbowDash]

my girlfriend and i are gamers and we are extremely happy together, and im not ashamed to admit that she has me "whipped". i remember she woke up at 3 in the morning wanting candy bars and ice cream, and i got up and got in my car and drove around the city for an hour just to get it for her. i love her. and i love doing things to make her happy. it makes me happy to make her happy. but at the same time, she knows that whenever i have an xbox controller in my hand, to not bother me. so yea, im "whipped". so what?

 

[Col.Gentlemen]

I think it is quite sad that so many men are whipped to such an extent that they could pretty much be their girlfriend's pets. Only last night I invited my friend over for a night of Xbox and movies which he was quite happy to attend. He was bringing the games because he has quite a few multiplayer ones. 20 minutes later we get a call from him saying 'Oh my missus just called, she wants to come to mine to watch the tennis. Sorry guys I'm not coming.' WTF!!???!?!?!!

I have a friend just like yours and I drives me insane. I think the funniest part is that he'll play Halo, and make his girlfriend watch.

And she enjoys it.

WTF.

 

[Social Pariah]

Maybe men are but pets, an easily replaceable accessory that should do woman's will or be usurped by another more willing candidate, it is all too often the case. For some people, love = submission.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

First off, I apologize if I seemed a bit terse in my first post. I was a bit tired, and then seeing a topic that seemed to refer to men who are there for their women as "whipped" just made me see red. That said, to elaborate on what I said earlier, if your friend is hanging with his buddies, bringing his girl along, and she says she has a headache and wants to leave, there are three options. First, he could do what he did, agree, explain to his friends, and take her home. Second, he could tell her to go on ahead by herself, give her the keys, and continue hanging with his buddies. While that idea is much better than the third option, it still shows that he is (and women, I apologize if I'm making connections you wouldn't) more concerned about hanging with his buds and enjoying himself than making sure there is nothing wrong with his woman. Finally, and by far the worst option, he could tell her to suck it up and make her stay. That, obviously, would not end well. From those options, I believe the one he chose was the most reasonable. So before you call your friends "whipped" (by the way, who insults their friends anonymously on a messageboard?), take a moment and consider it from their point of view.

Edit: Also, I'm partially speaking from personal experience, as I had a wonderful girlfriend throughout the last month of senior year in high school and the first semester of college, then lost it that January because I was too concerned with numero uno rather than numero dos, and have still not forgiven myself for it. I've gotten over it, but I know I screwed up, and know that I was the only one to blame.

 

[Legion]

Being nice to ones significant other does not mean whipped.

Nobody in this post has tried claiming otherwise. Please can you read all the posts in this topic.

We are merely saying that when a significant other makes you feel like you should be spending all your time with them because they want you to as opposed to you wanting to, at the cost of you seeing friends/doing your own thing, then it is not healthy for a relationship.

I see this as

Her: Please come spend time with me.
Him: Sure, I'm at a friends house but I'll be over soon.

Then all his mates call him whipped because he stopped what he was doing to see him girlfriend.

EDIT: To add to my point. On Tuesday a friend helped his girlfriend move house, only to be called whipped by some people at uni the next day. He was just doing a nice thing for her and he got (for the lack of a better term) slammed for it.

In that situation the friends are just a bunch of assholes then. If they said that to me I'd tell them to go f**k themselves (and if in a vindictive mood; probably make a remark about how I don't have to as I'm in a relationship).

The way I was looking at was extreme cases where the person feels they have to do what their partner tells them even when they don't necessarily want to.

e.g. A guy has been planning for weeks to go round a friends house for a poker night with his mates. His girlfriend has already made plans to see her friends too, she has hers cancelled at the last minute and persuades her boyfriend to not go to the poker night because she's at home and wants him there. Despite him wanting to go round his friends' place he cancels too to save an argument/disagreement.

If he was genuinely more interested in spending time with her than his friends then power to him, but one would ask why she does not repsect the fact that he already has plans elsewhere for a single evening.

 

[Chiasm]

I think he isn't whipped,Just like many have said before it is his choice.As well he may just be getting older and value the peace and quiet with his girlfriend over the choatic yesteryear of gaming.

Indeed, I agree with all that is said there. However I feel I should add that sometimes the submissive role can be unhealthy when the person is giving into the needs of their partner but not getting anything in return (no I am not referring to sex here). That can become a problem, not an epidemic of course, but something the friends might feel they should bring up.

The thing is this, I can't speak for submissive men. But as a female I think the submissive, Dominant relationship is often played out wrong in most media. You end up not forming a sub-Dom bond unless you are both enjoying the two sides of the coin. With what many just end up seeing the sub being ordered and not realizing what he/she gets out of the relationship with having a set of rules and also attention and love from the Dom. While the Dom also gets the enjoyment of having someone who needs him/her.

 

[Grimm91]

No insult to my male friends but I like spending time with my girl. I hope to spend the rest of my life with her please just understand. That is all I ask, I'm not whipped, just living something that I can't share with you.

 

[s0denone]

Never let poon come between you and your friends. Friends are for life, girlfriends are just a pain in the ass.

With fear of sounding like a fucking asshole: "Bros before hoes"

I completely agree here. If you trust your mates (Mates you think will be for life) you should pause a bit and wonder, if they tell you your relationship is fucked up. Chances are they're right, because they wouldn't bother you if it didn't bother them that you might be taken advantage of.

My friend is always telling me about her pushover of a boyfriend - she, uncontrollably, is a real biatch to him and she fully knows what she's doing. She said she just wants him to 'fight back' (i.e. stand up for himself) sometime instead of rolling over. The problem is a misplaced sense of romanticism that guys get taught from crappy movies, or girls who watch and then buy into crappy movies, which basically all make the point that the guy needs to be prepared to make a series of increasingly large personal / lifestyle sacrifices in order to hold down the girl of his dreams. Once you see 'romance' in this way, it's a slow spiral into hell as you fork over your autonomy and dignity one piece at a time.

This is actually also very interesting, and I think there might be something there!

 

[Emperor Inferno]

A really funny comedian, Ralphie May, said it best: You can be whipped, or you can be hand-whipped, if you know what I mean.

I personally would choose whipped any day.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

I cannot see myself becoming whipped....simply because I react pathologically to assertive authority. Though a smile and a please will send me, as another poster said, driving around the city at 3AM for candy and whatever.

 

[Sewblon]

That happens in America too; it is a problem with Western Civilization at this point. Once a civilization becomes prosperous it becomes soft and relatively feminine. You wouldn't see that problem in a Islamic country. You would see different problems, like much rape.

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Of course I will favor the opinion of my friend I have known practically since birth, over someone I probably just met who I would be having sex with.

 

[Helnurath]

Never let poon come between you and your friends. Friends are for life, girlfriends are just a pain in the ass.

Spoken like a true Xbox-Live twelve year old.


As for myself- well, I to have never had a serious relationship. Partly because I'm, if not unattractive, not exactly Adonis, partly because I'm inexperienced and partly because I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually psychotic....ach, to hell with it. The idea of making sacrifices for someone is as alien to me as wandering around Swindon in the nude with my testes painted bright green.

Welcome to my world.

 

[Vuzzmop]

Eh. Some men are just more submissive than others. It doesn't correspond with what society expects a man to be i.e. dominant masculine, but its up to them. It does make them appear weak though, a trait which I myself can't stand in a person. I have always been highly dominant in any relationship, but when I actually get around to having a girlfriend (right now I don't see the point) I don't want someone too submissive. Spinelessness is pathetic in anybody, no matter what gender.
I have a friend who is quite impressively whipped by his girlfriend, but who sticks with her despite her verbal abuse because of something he calls "love." Sweet Ghandi its sad.
I ditch people who don't respect me and never look back, and its part of what makes my life so much better than what it could have been.

 

[Locust]

I have a friend who is quite impressively whipped by his girlfriend, but who sticks with her despite her verbal abuse because of something he calls "love." Sweet Ghandi its sad.

That's essentially what my last relationship was. A girl can abuse your generosity and devotion to her and she'll treat you like crap because she knows you won't do anything about it. After a while of it, I did act more dominant and we'd often start arguing, almost every night. The end result was she took another boyfriend over me and said she didn't love me and wanted me to hate her so we'd break up. It could be the same for your friend, or she's probably treating him like crap because she wants him to man up and be dominant.

In the end though, there is no right or wrong conclusion to the subject. If you're an independent, dominant person, you won't understand why someone would be so devoted to their girl and you may not respect them for it. Likewise, if you're devoted and "whipped", you won't care what anyone else thinks because she makes you happier than your buddies ever can.

Just make sure the one you're devoted to isn't a complete ***** and abuses it. If she's loving, clingy and reliant to you, most guys, including myself, love that and would gladly go out of our way to make her happy. If she doesn't care and just fucks you over, don't waste your time, she isn't worth it and she's only using you.

 

[humpees]

Never let poon come between you and your friends. Friends are for life, girlfriends are just a pain in the ass.

Spoken like a true Xbox-Live twelve year old.


As for myself- well, I to have never had a serious relationship. Partly because I'm, if not unattractive, not exactly Adonis, partly because I'm inexperienced and partly because I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually psychotic....ach, to hell with it. The idea of making sacrifices for someone is as alien to me as wandering around Swindon in the nude with my testes painted bright green.

Dear god don't do it... For one thing you'll get knifed anyway, they'll now have targets. Plus I so -don't- need to see that.