So what makes a guy a dickhead?

[DudeistBelieve]

I'm curious what with the whole "Nice Guy" sterotype. All us dudes have in our head what we don't want to be, so lets nail that down and not be that.

Just what does it take for us to look upon our gender with shame?

I really hate anyone that cheats on their partner. It just really seems like the the ultimate dick move to betray a person's trusts.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Spoiler: This

Alright I don't get the first bit of the post. What's wrong with being a nice guy? Did I miss the memo? Are nice guys now de facto cheaters?

 

[TKhanman]

Spoiler: This

Alright I don't get the first bit of the post. What's wrong with being a nice guy? Did I miss the memo? Are nice guys now de facto cheaters?

The idea is that "nice guys" are only being nice to get laid/get a partner, and feel entitled to those things because they are being nice, and this, in the end, makes them assholes. Being nice is okay though, but the attitude of "he/she should date me because I'm nice" is kind of dickish.

 

[BathorysGraveland2]

Anyone who harms others through violence or emotional trauma, I'd say. However, your use of the term "dickhead" indicates this thread is about far more trivial things. So I don't know, guys who drive through streets as loud as possible to show off their flashy cars. That's one for 'ya.

 

[VanQ]

I'm Australian so just about anyone that pisses me off or mildly annoys me is a "dickhead."
Even my mates are dickheads sometimes.

It's one of those words with subjective meaning to it. There's no objective definition of the term, beyond that it's someone that is or is being generally unpleasant.

 

[Weaver]

I feel like there was a music video about this...

Spoiler

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

I'd figured that it would be some guy who is both unconsidered of others to the point of making it a habit of theirs to constantly put down others, for no reason or provocation, and that they put themselves on a pedestal to serve as the best that humanity has to offer.

I unfortunately live with someone like this and I really don't understand how they came to be a d***head; partially due to insecurities, cowardice, haughtiness, greed, overindulgence, and idiocy, they feel like they are untouchable, so they act in a manner that they want to be perceived as.

I'm not at all concerned, as reality will quickly claim them for their lack of maturity and humility, and this d***head will no longer be a threat to enlightened, well-mannered, and conscious individuals.

 

[Thaluikhain]

To me, someone who refuses to know or care about problems for other people they might be contributing to. Selfishness, mixed with willful ignorance that makes them refuse to accept what they are doing.

 

[generals3]

The idea is that "nice guys" are only being nice to get laid/get a partner, and feel entitled to those things because they are being nice, and this, in the end, makes them assholes. Being nice is okay though, but the attitude of "he/she should date me because I'm nice" is kind of dickish.

While deceiving someone for sex sure is dickish (deceptive behavior is always kind of dickish) why is feeling entitled? Don't we always feel entitled? Don't we feel entitled to get a good game when we pay 50? for it? Don't we feel entitled to good grades when we study hard for an exam? Don't we feel entitled to a promotion when we feel we worked hard enough for it? etc...

If entitlement makes someone a dickhead than i can safely assume we all are dickheads.

 

[Dijarida]

The reason nice guys are dickheads is basic patriarchal reasoning (Bloody hell, thats a mouthful!)

Basically, when the basic act of being nice makes someone feel entitled for sex, it means they believe that just being a decent human being is equivelated to consent for sex. Not very high regard of the opposite sex.

 

[suitepee7]

The idea is that "nice guys" are only being nice to get laid/get a partner, and feel entitled to those things because they are being nice, and this, in the end, makes them assholes. Being nice is okay though, but the attitude of "he/she should date me because I'm nice" is kind of dickish.

While deceiving someone for sex sure is dickish (deceptive behavior is always kind of dickish) why is feeling entitled? Don't we always feel entitled? Don't we feel entitled to get a good game when we pay 50? for it? Don't we feel entitled to good grades when we study hard for an exam? Don't we feel entitled to a promotion when we feel we worked hard enough for it? etc...

If entitlement makes someone a dickhead than i can safely assume we all are dickheads.

there's a pretty obvious difference between feeling entitled to get a good game when you pay top prices, and feeling entitled to have sex with a girl just for not being a prick.

 

[generals3]

there's a pretty obvious difference between feeling entitled to get a good game when you pay top prices, and feeling entitled to have sex with a girl just for not being a prick.

Not at all. In both cases you feel entitled to a certain Return On Investment. At most you could say that in case X the person is being too optimistic or uninformed about the usual ROI. But does that make someone a dickhead?

 

[suitepee7]

-snip-

Not at all. In both cases you feel entitled to a certain Return On Investment. At most you could say that in case X the person is being too optimistic or uninformed about the usual ROI. But does that make someone a dickhead?

the return on investment principle only works when you invest something. being regular non-douchey person shouldn't be an investment, it should just be the norm. if you see it as an investment then it implies that you know you're an ass most of the time, but when you want sex you'll 'make the effort' to be a decent person for a change.

so yes, if you think making the effort to be a nice person means you should be entitled to put your penis inside another person - one of the most intimate acts that two people can do together - then yes, you're a dickhead

 

[generals3]

the return on investment principle only works when you invest something. being regular non-douchey person shouldn't be an investment, it should just be the norm.if you see it as an investment then it implies that you know you're an ass most of the time, but when you want sex you'll 'make the effort' to be a decent person for a change.

so yes, if you think making the effort to be a nice person means you should be entitled to put your penis inside another person - one of the most intimate acts that two people can do together - then yes, you're a dickhead

It depends on how you define "nice". Because there is nice and nice. You can be nice but still not really be inclined to always help someone out, wanting to listen to every single thing, or to pay for drinks or whatever. Usually the "nice" guys are not nice in the "that's how everyone acts towards everyone" way, there is a certain pro-activity to be extra nice. I don't think the lamenting of "I said hello/kept the door open for them/didn't insult them/whatever, but didn't get sex!" is what this is about.

And tbh in this day and age i think you're overestimating just how big of a deal sex is.

 

[suitepee7]

It depends on how you define "nice". Because there is nice and nice. You can be nice but still not really be inclined to always help someone out, wanting to listen to every single thing, or to pay for drinks or whatever. Usually the "nice" guys are not nice in the "that's how everyone acts towards everyone" way, there is a certain pro-activity to be extra nice. I don't think the lamenting of "I said hello/kept the door open for them/didn't insult them/whatever, but didn't get sex!" is what this is about.

And tbh in this day and age i think you're overestimating just how big of a deal sex is.

but neither of those definitions of nice entitles you to sex. if you wanted sex you could try being extra nice, and if it works then great, good for you. but as soon as you cross into the realm of feeling entitled to it is where the dickhead line is drawn.

and i'm not saying it is a big deal at all, but there are very few things two people can do together that is more intimate. and i think you're underestimating its value if you think a woman should put out just because a guy is nice to her.

 

[generals3]

but neither of those definitions of nice entitles you to sex. if you wanted sex you could try being extra nice, and if it works then great, good for you. but as soon as you cross into the realm of feeling entitled to it is where the dickhead line is drawn.

and i'm not saying it is a big deal at all, but there are very few things two people can do together that is more intimate. and i think you're underestimating its value if you think a woman should put out just because a guy is nice to her.

Who said it entitled them to anything? Working hard doesn't entitle you to a promotion, paying 50? doesn't entitle you to having an awesome gaming experience, etc. Everyone is already in the realm of entitlement one way or an other. And i'm actually quite baffled that the moment it involves sex suddenly it becomes dickish behavior.

And I never said a woman should put out. Personally i believe that sex/relationships are like pink sheet stocks. The ROI is highly unpredictable, you can get lots of return for very little but can also get nothing in return for a lot of investment. Some people however don't know/think this and they thus tend to actually expect a certain return. But this doesn't make them dicks but misinformed or maybe overconfident.

For me it's quite clear, if you expect a safe ROI sex-wise, prostitutes are that way.

 

[suitepee7]

Who said it entitled them to anything? Working hard doesn't entitle you to a promotion, paying 50? doesn't entitle you to having an awesome gaming experience, etc. Everyone is already in the realm of entitlement one way or an other. And i'm actually quite baffled that the moment it involves sex suddenly it becomes dickish behavior.

And I never said a woman should put out. Personally i believe that sex/relationships are like pink sheet stocks. The ROI is highly unpredictable, you can get lots of return for very little but can also get nothing in return for a lot of investment. Some people however don't know/think this and they thus tend to actually expect a certain return. But this doesn't make them dicks but misinformed or maybe overconfident.

For me it's quite clear, if you expect a safe ROI sex-wise, prostitutes are that way.

well it appears i misinterpreted what you were saying then, in the original post i responded to it came off as if you felt - in a way - nice guys were kinda entitled to sex, because we all feel entitled. but you've clarified this, so my apologies xD

as for whether it is bad judgement or dickheadedness, i suppose it would depend on their attitude towards it, for example
person A: "i was really nice to her, but she only saw us as friends so nothings gonna go on there. kinda sucks, but it happens"
person B: "i can't believe i spent so much time listening to her whine about her stupid problems, and she wouldn't even fuck me?! it's bullshit"
they could have put in the same amount of investment, but because of their attitudes about it person A i would say is the misguided one, whereas person B is a dick. a misguided dick, but the dick quality is still the quality most easily recognised.

as for safe ROI for sex being a prostitute, definitely agreeing there. it's only the form of investment that changes, from time/effort to money (which arguably is made from your own time and effort anyway, but that's getting a bit too off-topic). regardless, the return is at least guaranteed

 

[Saetha]

The thing I hate most in a guy (And in people in general really) would be dishonesty, or a... reluctance to take blame (Which I qualify as an extension of dishonesty) I like to think I'm generally accepting of people's flaws and shortcomings, but I have absolutely no tolerance for pride or overconfidence, even when it's feigned by someone in an attempt to save face. For instance, when someone fails at a task or something, they then immediately attempt to justify that failure - "Oh, I'm not feeling well today" or "Man, that other person really screwed me over here!" Just own up to your failure, and try to move on. So I generally dislike people who try to blame their mistakes on something else, or build themselves up as better than they are. I mean, people screw up. We do it all the time. It's nothing to be ashamed about. And wouldn't it be better to undersell yourself, and then blow me away later with whatever awesome talent you've got? But on the other hand, I don't like dishonesty, even when it's well intended. If someone gives me a compliment or a kind word, I want it to be genuine, or I don't want it at all. I don't care for empty words and broken promises - which apparently sets me apart from society, since I've been called a jerk for refusing to give undue compliments.

Another thing I hate is intentional malice, even if it's in retaliation for being wronged. I can understand being upset about something, and I can understand wanting to vent that frustration, but setting out to purposefully wound someone is not something I can agree with. Hate doesn't get anyone anywhere.