So what makes a guy a dickhead?
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I got to thinking recently about what separates an "asshole" and a "bastard". (Excluding being an actual anal aperture or illegitimate child, thank you, ye wits.)
To my mind, the "asshole" is someone who either hasn't thought about how his actions are affecting others or is too distracted (possibly by the objective of his actions) to care. The guy who swerves into your lane so he can advance two car lengths as you slam on the brakes is an asshole.
Most of us are assholes at some point in our lives, or have individual days when we're like that because we have too much on our plate to think much past our own blinders. If we're decent people, though, we're embarrassed when we act like that, and we try to keep it to a minimum.
The "bastard" is the guy who swerves in front of you, knowing you won't be able to stop in time, because the insurance company is almost certainly going to find you at fault and he doesn't want to pay off his car.
Bastards are completely aware of the results of their harmful actions; they may even get off on them. They're pressing for an advantage, damn the cost. That guy who hits on the women in your party while genially insulting the men, certain that social propriety will keep him from getting called out? That's a bastard.
Assholes can get better. Barring a major dark night of the soul or a "A Christmas Carol"-level intervention, bastards think they've found a way that works for them.
I got to thinking recently about what separates an "asshole" and a "bastard". (Excluding being an actual anal aperture or illegitimate child, thank you, ye wits.)
To my mind, the "asshole" is someone who either hasn't thought about how his actions are affecting others or is too distracted (possibly by the objective of his actions) to care. The guy who swerves into your lane so he can advance two car lengths as you slam on the brakes is an asshole.
Most of us are assholes at some point in our lives, or have individual days when we're like that because we have too much on our plate to think much past our own blinders. If we're decent people, though, we're embarrassed when we act like that, and we try to keep it to a minimum.
The "bastard" is the guy who swerves in front of you, knowing you won't be able to stop in time, because the insurance company is almost certainly going to find you at fault and he doesn't want to pay off his car.
Bastards are completely aware of the results of their harmful actions; they may even get off on them. They're pressing for an advantage, damn the cost. That guy who hits on the women in your party while genially insulting the men, certain that social propriety will keep him from getting called out? That's a bastard.
Assholes can get better. Barring a major dark night of the soul or a "A Christmas Carol"-level intervention, bastards think they've found a way that works for them.
who is a dickhead. literally the guy with a dick on his head. If you know your memes, scumbag greg fits the picture quite well. Also lanisters.
If that makes me a psychopath, then every single human on this earth is a psychopath.
Its more a situation of she breaks up with an asshole, complains to you that "why cant her boyfriend be nice like you" then goes on to find another asshole.TKhanman said:
You do it yourself. You give "Value" to the relationship. you do things for people who you "Value". People value things that are beneficial to them. You expect them to help you, which is where thier value comes from. you sugarcoat it because its not acceptable to openly talk about benfit relationships and that may decrease the value of your relationship, since your friends may become less willing to help you. Now, favours are different and personal. For some thats free food while others just knowing somone knows about you is enough. Its still some fomr of personal gain. humans do EVERYTHING for personal gain. Its just that its popular to mix personal gain with material gain because of the money cult.ClockworkPenguin said:
If that makes me a psychopath, then every single human on this earth is a psychopath.
I think it's simply indifference towards anyone else's feelings or lack of empathy that makes a person a d*ck
I think I agree here - herein lies the problem of defining when a 'guy' is a 'dickhead'.VanQ said:
Without some sort of definition or agreement of the severity of that label means or a definition of it, in itself outside of this context, then we are a bit stumped.
I don't really use 'dickhead' to be honest. I'm more for just calling a guy a 'dick'. It is a specially-reserved term in my book and I've only really met a couple in my life - but I wouldn't say that I look out for a particular characteristic or trait and then immediately assign that person as a 'dickhead'. It's more of just a general feeling or gist of a 'guy - perhaps influenced by key events, but not always.
In so far as the relationship is valuable, and therefore actions taken to strengthen it benefit that aim, then yes you do gain from it. But the difference is that the relationship is itself the aim, rather than a means of receiving favours down the line. 'someone knowing about you' is not a favour. Not unless you want to stretch the term to breaking point. The key factor isn't whether you gain from a relationship or not, its whether you consciously treat it as an ends in itself, or merely as a means to get something.Strazdas said:
If it's the latter, you're kind of an asshole. And no, I've seen far to many examples of people doing things for no gain to believe that 'everybody acts that way'.
So, I've been noticing a lot of this on the Escapist lately.
"What makes a man a dick?"
"What is this 'Nice guy' Thing about?"
"Why are fedoras a universal sign of creep? Along with tapout shirts, and being 'alpha?'"
"Why do people give me looks when I'm barefoot with a trench-coat?"
"I just think women are deplorable when they don't shave. Am I a bad person?"
Really? You can't hit up tumblr? You haven't checked reddit in a macaw's age? Have we not spent any amount of time on social media? (Even the ones I'm not allowed to talk about here. Oh, so many posts about this where I frequent.)
If you're a deplorable hateful human being, then you will find that people will label you as such. If you look and act as one, you are one. I can't simplify this any more. That is the answer OP. But, say, you're not. You genuinely care, you're a good person. You just look like the people I kindly guide out of the bar. Well, perhaps you should come out from under that rock and find the number one rule of our society. PEOPLE. RUIN. EVERYTHING. Maybe that's the answer! I've had so many things ruined by people, it's completely foolish that I can still stand then for any amount of time.
It's not a gender problem, it's a wide-spread problem that hits both side of things. We just use different names for the female creeps.
"What makes a man a dick?"
"What is this 'Nice guy' Thing about?"
"Why are fedoras a universal sign of creep? Along with tapout shirts, and being 'alpha?'"
"Why do people give me looks when I'm barefoot with a trench-coat?"
"I just think women are deplorable when they don't shave. Am I a bad person?"
Really? You can't hit up tumblr? You haven't checked reddit in a macaw's age? Have we not spent any amount of time on social media? (Even the ones I'm not allowed to talk about here. Oh, so many posts about this where I frequent.)
If you're a deplorable hateful human being, then you will find that people will label you as such. If you look and act as one, you are one. I can't simplify this any more. That is the answer OP. But, say, you're not. You genuinely care, you're a good person. You just look like the people I kindly guide out of the bar. Well, perhaps you should come out from under that rock and find the number one rule of our society. PEOPLE. RUIN. EVERYTHING. Maybe that's the answer! I've had so many things ruined by people, it's completely foolish that I can still stand then for any amount of time.
It's not a gender problem, it's a wide-spread problem that hits both side of things. We just use different names for the female creeps.
Is "dickhead" really a clearly defined term these days? I call anyone (male or female, friend or stranger) who even slightly annoys me a dick/dickhead. It can be said in a serious or a jokey way and its meaning is entirely dependent on context.
Basically, I really wouldn't worry about it too much.
Basically, I really wouldn't worry about it too much.
If the aim is relationship, why is it your aim? Why do you need relationship?ClockworkPenguin said:
There are no people that do anything for no gain. There are only people who gain something that you dont consider valuable. since, you know, they are different than you. For example for some people to see another person smile is useless and for some it enriches their life.
You know, some people actually dont go around the internet and stick their parts on every website they meet. The only website that i have been more than perhaps once or twice on your list is reddit, and that is limited to 1 single circlejerk subreddit.BeerTent said:
feeling entitled to a game being good since you payed for it can (arguably) be acceptiblegenerals3 said:
feeling entitled to someone ELSE namely the girl of your desires is not ok, because unlike a game she's a person with her own reasons and motivations, something the stereotypical "nice guy" seems to forget for example
guy: will you go out with me?
Girl: oh ummm...look, you're a nice guy but I don't feel that way about you
correct response
guy: ok
entitled response
guy: *****....
oh the things one can learn on reddit! I've been studying the common "neckbeard"Strazdas said:
you havent stumbled upon the Redpill have you?BeerTent said:
Hey, I've only gone to ONE circlejerk, I thought it was fun but it wasn't!Strazdas said:
Jokes aside,
I don't have accts there either, but this day and age, we need to gather our information from somewhere. We've all got friends who use facebook. Friends who reddit, and likely a friend who stumbles about tumblr. If you talk to these people, they're often more than happy to show you what they find. From foolish things like what really happens in that pokemon daycare, to the "nice guys" from okcupid, nice classy, fedora clad men who declare it's mortal sin for a woman to not shave her legs.
But the fact that you don't surf news aggregators and imgur, peeking for Ukrane's situation and adorable cat pics isn't the part that bothers me. The part that bothers me is that for some reason, people just don't understand. You know, the whole "I'm a deplorable human being. Why are people calling me crazy?" And one I've heard myself, "So what, I look like a streaker. Why are you taking me out of the bar?"
Everyone's so concerned about being some asshole, that they turn around and show it all off. People try so goddamn hard to fit into some sort of cliche that, yes, they make an ass of themselves. They put out this extremely heavy outward appearance that doesn't define them in any way shape or form. And when you ask them two solid questions, you just realize they're just an asshole, and they have no value for other human beings. This is why both women and men can take one good look at that dumbass fedora, or those thick black frame glasses and say "Eugh, creep." They are completely justified, wholeheartedly to make these justifications and associations.
And I haven't even touched the desperate yet. The "She owes me because I bought her a drink." or, "She's a **** because she won't get to know me." Why are you, so entitled, that people need to know you?
Now, Strazdas. Keep in mind that none of this is directed to you. I don't think your a horrible person because I have no idea who you are, and I'm trying to keep away from any gender bias too. I've seen both men and women pull this shit.
Actually, I go on news and frontpage.Vault101 said:
I've bounced before the province started requiring licenses for bouncers, while it's great there's no thug bouncers, being one means I'm out of a side-job.[footnote]On the bouncing topic, I know the rule of Zero, and have followed it.[/footnote] I don't need no redpill to see this shit. We've got what, 4 major universities here? We got a lot of stupid fucking people here.Wait, didn't you d- Aah, never mind. You can only go cold turkey for so long. WB.
No, i dont have friends who think its funny to make fun of how people dress, regardless of website they visit. Nor do they ever share tumblr with me. the only time i went to tumbler other than google image search was for Desert Bus Photo gallery. and even then i was triced into that by redirecting link. And i never saw what happens in pokemon daycare either (seriuosly, is that a thing?).BeerTent said:
And no, they are not justified by making these assumptions. that makes them asshole on the same level as those creeps. People dont need to know me. people need to stop making assumptions based on clothes. not everyone has the same taste like you. not everyone tries to define themselves by clothes. i wear what is comfortable first and practical second. looks only come into it as much as is defined by my work rules. Yet, if you were making assumtions at first glance i would be that "bully untouched by intellect" based on looks alone. I actually heard that one couple times.
Yeah, im not taking it personally, i merelly gave myself as an example that not everyone is following all of internet. and im not saying assholes dont exist, merely that they are not defined by clothing.
while I understand the distaste towards Fedoras I don't think its particularly fair to write people off just because they wear one, they aren't [i/]always[/i] misplaced either, I honestly think some people pull it off fineBeerTent said:
I mean yeah if I see some guy in the classic Fedora outfit I will internally roll my eyes but at least give him a chance,
To be fair, what they want doesn't really factor into it, it's how they act when they realise they aren't gonna get it.Cecilo said:
Nobody's bad for just wanting something.
I probably shouldn't be posting more about this, but I'm against the `but they don't just want sex` as a defence. Even if they did it wouldn't matter.
The Pokemon daycare thing's a joke. You put two in there, and if you did it right, you get eggs. Doesn't stop the internet from making copious amounts of jokes about it though.Strazdas said:
First of all, experience overrules kindness. I'm not saying that just because you look a certain way, you're going to get kicked out instantly. If that were the case, I would agree with you, but it's not. I feel that we're missing something, because it's not the clothes we're making fun of. [http://i.huffpost.com/gen/913644/thumbs/o-NICE-GUYS-OF-OKCUPID-facebook.jpg] Make sure to understand that.
Second, how can you say it's not right for someone to judge based on appearances? Are you saying this because you've never done this before? Are you the sort of person to sit with the shaggy unfortunate to listen to their story? Or when they hold a used needle, do you step aside because they "look" dangerous? How does the basic human ability of picking out dangers, wrong on the exact same level as saying "Rape is okay? [http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2XoWDHBHCEw/UOhiqmuxOpI/AAAAAAAABGo/8x2Y0kEo6j0/s640/tumblr_mfiyctmuFX1s0cjm8o1_500.png]" Why is the assumption of me being weak and nerdy, wrong on the same level as saying "Homosexuality is wrong?"
First impressions are a thing. If you or I dress like an idiot, then you or I are likely going to be treated as such in public. If people don't want to know you, that shouldn't bother you, but if it does bother you, that's your problem. (Unless, this person's actually important, but I assume you're smart enough to dress nice to a job interview.) People have a right to say no to you, or make assumptions based on that first impression, and there's nothing you can do about it other than accept it. If someone doesn't like you on that 1st impression, step aside. It does not give you the right to force yourself on them, to 'make' them like you.
Finally, I'm not saying everyone who wears a goddamn fedora's a "Nice guy." But it's become this unsightly thing in today's culture. I've had to take more of them out than I've had to leave alone. This is what we call a trend. This is what we look for, both when we're in charge of keeping a place clean, and when we're looking for someone to take home. I'm not saying it just because "The internet." I'm saying it because I'm in a city with 4 universities, and the most bars per-capita in the Atlantic. This is what we see, and if you look like a cookie-cutter bully, then people are going to assume that at first...
well.... thats a... post.BeerTent said:
Experience overrule kindness but you have no experience if you dont get to know that person. due to each person being unique your experience with another person does not apply. ever. However many people falsely apply said experience and make the mistake of grouping people based on some artificial trait that isnt important (such as clothes).
I can say it easily. here i said it right in this post. I have to admit there were sitautions where i did, however i do my best not to do that when i can. It is as wrong as assuming all gamers are fat nerds living in basements. Im sure you can see why its a bad assumption.
Its not a matter of people not wanting to know me. That is totally fine. Its people that change their actions based solely on the fact that i wear different pants than others for example. I never said it gives me any rights to force them to do anything, merely that they should not judge people before knowing if thier judgement has any basis. The pictures you provide are more than looks. This is knowledge, altrough indirrect since the person is speaking (to you, and everyone else reading that) at that point you can read what he says and decide whether your views math.
(altrough i was actually interested that OkCupid actually had that kind of question. I used that service for... 3 days... then got bored).
And these people prejudging would be completely wrong. on a whole opposide end of the spectrum even. Only goes to prove my point really.
Capcha: walk free. Well i cant because social norms and shit.
Loud, obnoxious, intimidating people, that basically drag a lot of attention to themselves. They try to stand out however they can. What they wear, how they speak, what they say... usually they act with total disrespect for everyone around them, except their friends (who they are never without).
These people, are big, freaking, cowards. They can't go through life just minding their own business. They're too scared nobody will notice them. They have to disturb as many people as they can, to feel important, or something.
I don't get it, but the guys sure are dickheads.
Oh yeah, also people that have extremely loud vehicles (motorcycles im looking at you, but also cars). They think when people hear their engine they think "oh wow thats sooooooooooo cooooooooooooooooool! I wish I had that!" But in reality, people, after jumping in reaction to the sudden noise, groan and think "ugh, I hate that noise so much, that's so annoying".
It also annoys me when drivers are impatient about pedestrians. I mean, you get to sit on your ass while a vehicle propels you at extreme speed, and someone that has to walk needs to cross the street. An action that takes -seconds- and you inch along, rev your engine and act like its the worst thing in the world. GOOD LORD I HATE DRIVERS! Appreciate your freaking car, not everyone gets to enjoy the luxury! But regardless, when you do get out of your car and need to cross a street (say, in a parking lot) you're not going to want some dickhead reving at you and acting impatient! So don't do it to others! Ya dick!
These people, are big, freaking, cowards. They can't go through life just minding their own business. They're too scared nobody will notice them. They have to disturb as many people as they can, to feel important, or something.
I don't get it, but the guys sure are dickheads.
Oh yeah, also people that have extremely loud vehicles (motorcycles im looking at you, but also cars). They think when people hear their engine they think "oh wow thats sooooooooooo cooooooooooooooooool! I wish I had that!" But in reality, people, after jumping in reaction to the sudden noise, groan and think "ugh, I hate that noise so much, that's so annoying".
It also annoys me when drivers are impatient about pedestrians. I mean, you get to sit on your ass while a vehicle propels you at extreme speed, and someone that has to walk needs to cross the street. An action that takes -seconds- and you inch along, rev your engine and act like its the worst thing in the world. GOOD LORD I HATE DRIVERS! Appreciate your freaking car, not everyone gets to enjoy the luxury! But regardless, when you do get out of your car and need to cross a street (say, in a parking lot) you're not going to want some dickhead reving at you and acting impatient! So don't do it to others! Ya dick!
Well if I go by the way some guys have treated me in the past...
Being too ashamed to admit you're together or that he knows you. Not holding your hand in public and making sure you only met at night so no one sees you together but he could still get sex out of you.
Spending absolutely ages trying to get into your knickers then completely distancing himself afterwards and acting like a little *****.
Only texting you when they have problems and need your advice but ignoring you in your hour of need.
Dickhead is probably the most gentle word to use.
/Not bitter
Being too ashamed to admit you're together or that he knows you. Not holding your hand in public and making sure you only met at night so no one sees you together but he could still get sex out of you.
Spending absolutely ages trying to get into your knickers then completely distancing himself afterwards and acting like a little *****.
Only texting you when they have problems and need your advice but ignoring you in your hour of need.
Dickhead is probably the most gentle word to use.
/Not bitter
Audi drivers mostly. I have a long running joke that audis dont have indicators fittted as standardFappy said:
Im the same the example above pretty much sums up the frequency I use this word. I dont think it is a strong enough word for some of these people mentionedEamar said:
OT: people who say that people who go into relationships for sex are some sort of comedic villians. Sex is a big part of a relationship and youd be pretty naive not to consider it a pretty major factor. Sure you dont go out with someone just for sex but dont lie and say its not important
Dickhead is kind of a subjective insult. Generally it just means someone who's rude or inconsiderate.
But it's such a light insult that sometimes it isn't one at all.
If one was in a cheeky mood they might greet a friend with "Y'alright dickhead?"
It doesn't have a specific meaning like the stereotype/boogeyman, the "nice guy."
What makes a dickhead for me? Anyone who texts while driving (male or female).
It's just the right combination of stupid and selfish.
But it's such a light insult that sometimes it isn't one at all.
If one was in a cheeky mood they might greet a friend with "Y'alright dickhead?"
It doesn't have a specific meaning like the stereotype/boogeyman, the "nice guy."
What makes a dickhead for me? Anyone who texts while driving (male or female).
It's just the right combination of stupid and selfish.