So, you wake up, and there's blood in your bed...

[MissGinaKid]

I actually have woken up to find blood on my sheets what with menstration and all. So If it happened agian that would be my first guess.

 

[conflictofinterests]

A horse head

the obvious answer is this.

What about a pile of 50 severed penises? Cuz that's worse.

Not if you're a militant feminist. Then it's Christmas come early

 

[Lissa-QUON]

I actually have woken up to find blood on my sheets what with menstration and all. So If it happened agian that would be my first guess.

Repeated for truth and agreement.

 

[witness51]

Oh, shit. She escaped.

 

[aashell13]

I sometimes get nosebleeds in my sleep, so this has actually happened to me. my main thought is something along the lines of "oh crap, that's gonna be a PAIN to get out" mostly because it's inevitably dry by the time i wake up.

 

[SwimmingRock]

Not again...

Add in a *sigh* and that would be entirely accurate.

Had this problem a lot in my younger years. My mother used to freak out. I just used to get annoyed at the dried blood making my shirt stick to my hairy chest. Peeling off a shirt and ripping hairs out of your chest is not a good way to start your day.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I'd check my weiner first.

This

*obligatory period bloodstain joke here*

Followed by this (because when my bed is apparently bleeding, nothing says OMGWTF like multi-sex humour).

God damn it I need to see a doctor

And finally this (though at some point during this process, I'd check for incriminating evidence of foul play ... you know, missing kidney, foreign body parts, corpses nailed to my ceiling ... the usual suspects)

 

[Snotnarok]

Go back to bed, if I wake up later then I must be fine right?

 

[Ulixes Dimon]

DEAR GOD! My ANUS IS BLEEDING!

 

[theonlyblaze2]

Who stabbed my bed?!

 

[Blondi3]

I'd check my weiner first.

This.

 

[hendrix4ever]

I check to make sure the horse outside still has it's head

 

[Innegativeion]

Okay, I think we can make a comprehensive flowchart for reacting to this situation, based on the responses:

Are you a woman?----->yes-----> It's that time again----> No it's not...---> check for horse head
l
l
l
V
No
l
l
l
V
Check Dick--->Dick is fine---> check for horse head and/or hookers and/or virgin sacrifices
l
l
l
V
Call a doctor

 

[ImperialSunlight]

Eh, I'm a blood mage. There's already blood everywhere else in my house -.-

 

[Sacman]

Not again...

Oh look another Lain avatar...<.<

OT: I would assume that I'm dying and lay there because I'm too lazy to actually check...

 

[TheJulz]

Pray to the lord that I didn't go on another virgin raping spree.

So I'm not the only person who has those!

 

[thelonewolf266]

I DID NOT KILL THAT HOOKER!!!

 

[-Dragmire-]

"I shouldn't have eaten all that chipotle..."

 

[sharkinz]

I was thinking of making a menstruation joke but I decided against it.

So I am just going to say the worst scenario would be that someone cut off my legs in my sleep.

 

[shwnbob]

I had to get out of that handcuff somehow... If that meant cutting off my leg then so be it!