So you're watching porn...

[Varrdy]

I'd tell them to get the fuck out of my house before I rain my acidic jizz upon them and burn the flesh from their perverse, home-invading arses!

Can you tell I've been reading Transmetropolitan again?

 

[EHKOS]

Yell at the president for his inability to help the country, ejaculate onto the Pope's robes because I'm protestant, and then apologize to Julia Andrews that she had to be present for all this.

 

[White Lightning]

Start beating it even more furiously and stare them in the eye.

This is the only correct answer. However you forgot about breathing very heavily and roaring. Other then that, perfect.

And YOU sir, forgot about peeing on them to assert dominance!

Possibly also with some variation on the phrase "Oh, you're my wife now.."

I'm not at the level where I can pee and continue Masturbating. I'd have to settle on pooping all over myself and screeching. Maybe one day...

 

[Padwolf]

Well, the natural thing to do in this situation is just to invite them in, ask them for their suggestions and favourite porn videos and just have a party of it. It would be great.

 

[Gorrath]

I'd launch into a furious academic debate about the merits of the porn in question, why its inherent objectification of the characters involved is perfectly fine and the merits of free access to legally produced porn (not free monetarily) is a good thing for society! I would continue these arguments as if I were engaged in formal debate or giving a lecture, growing ever more passionate about the points in question as I lumbered, privates still-in-hand, toward the invader, at once threatening to overwhelm them with well reasoned arguments or else the frightening image of me jerking it wildly as I orated like the pastor of a Mega-Church on Sunday. Upon their inevitable retreat, I would give chase, following their fleeing form down the street and increasing my volume until it seemed as if the Gods of perversion themselves were given form and I was their avatar!

 

[Flames66]

I would ask them what the fuck they were doing in my house and chase them out with a sword.

 

[its big chope]

I'd stop cranking it but I wouldn't be ashamed because you know those guys do it too

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

I'm not Catholic, but I don't think the Pope would mind considering his latest antics, The President of The US has no sway here but out of respect I might stop(if it's David Cameron though, then I'd immediately switch to some more hardcore stuff just to fuck with him) and I don't care for The Sound of Music.

I guess I'd be okay. That, or I'd just alt-tab and sit cross legged (since my pc faces away from the door and I do my business elsewhere >_>).

"So uh...weird weather today!"

 

[its big chope]

if you're riding a rollercoaster and the person next to you starts jacking off, there's pretty much nothing you can do about it

 

[Mau95]

Complain that they didn't knock. Also, why are they here? Would they like something to drink?

 

[The White Hunter]

So is this a hypothetical or a plea for advice Barbas?

I'd offer them a cup of tea of course.

When I had finished.

 

[Headsprouter]

Well, obviously they came (heh) for a reason, and since they couldn't wait for me to finish and clean up it must be urgent!

So, I turn around, stand erect (heh) and ask "What is it you desire of me? Did Godzilla suddenly start eating white people!?"

 

[Ten Foot Bunny]

Ever see Blake Edwards' movie, S.O.B.? Watch it and you'll never think of Julie Andrews the same way again...

 

[Phil the Nervous]

Cover up with the Pope's hat to divert their attention away from the porn.

 

[Queen Michael]

There were these three flyers for a website that advertised the new Dead Or Alive game. Every flyer had a picture of a girl from the series wearing skimpy clothing. One day they weren't in my bookshelf anymore. I can't figure out if my mom found them or not.

 

[Little Woodsman]

...And the unthinkable happens: the pope, the president and Julie Andrews walk into the room.

I come {AA-HEM} to the conclusion that I'm dreaming and try to dream those three away in favor of a catgirl, a satyress and a bellydancer.

Judge me if you want.

 

[Godhead]

Offer them a Kleenex, no reason in being rude.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I ask Julie Andrews what the hell she's doing in my home. Not the Pope or the President, because they have lunch with me all the time.

 

[sanquin]

Welcome to Obama's America? The church and state are literally watching you watch porn.

Glad I don't live in America.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I would yell, ?I?M CHANGING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE? KNOCK NEXT TIME!?