Stand up, shake their hands, make them all some coffee and engage in plesant smallchat.
Still masturbating with one hand the entire time.
Still masturbating with one hand the entire time.
So you're watching porn...
- Thread starter Barbas
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That whole thing, on the Groot-swing, next to the Pope-mobile, while singing the sound of music?, (and maybe the Saint Bernard)? Photoshop!Evil Smurf said:
Maybe don't eat the donut.Fieldy409 said:
...do I get to at least wear the hat? Or the Saint Bernard that may or may not exist?Evil Smurf said:
My embarrassing/funny story goes something like this...
20 years ago technology was different. Me, my boyfriend (I'm gay BTW), and my mom were living together in a 2 bedroom apartment. The TV in my bedroom was small and wasn't "cable ready". It had no co-axial input just 2 screws to attach an antenna to. What I did have was an old switch box for a video game console (or that was it's original use). It did have a co-axial input. So, what I did was hook up the rabbit ear antenna, and then, so I could watch movies, a VCR was connected via the co-ax and I could switch between the 2.
One day me and my BF decided to watch some porn on the VCR and have sexy time. We finish up, and my BF gets dressed and goes to get a drink. He comes back pale as a sheet. Here is what my mother told him. She was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch (we didn't have cable so she didn't have many channels to flip through). Channel 7 was normally blank but today... She described to my boyfriend what she saw, 3 guys, a weight bench, and then they were having sex. The exact scene we had just watched.
Apparently I had unwittedly made a transmitter, and it transmitted whatever I was watching on the VCR which was frequently porn. Who knows who got a special treat when they tuned into channel 7? I disconnected my setup that day.
20 years ago technology was different. Me, my boyfriend (I'm gay BTW), and my mom were living together in a 2 bedroom apartment. The TV in my bedroom was small and wasn't "cable ready". It had no co-axial input just 2 screws to attach an antenna to. What I did have was an old switch box for a video game console (or that was it's original use). It did have a co-axial input. So, what I did was hook up the rabbit ear antenna, and then, so I could watch movies, a VCR was connected via the co-ax and I could switch between the 2.
One day me and my BF decided to watch some porn on the VCR and have sexy time. We finish up, and my BF gets dressed and goes to get a drink. He comes back pale as a sheet. Here is what my mother told him. She was flipping through channels trying to find something to watch (we didn't have cable so she didn't have many channels to flip through). Channel 7 was normally blank but today... She described to my boyfriend what she saw, 3 guys, a weight bench, and then they were having sex. The exact scene we had just watched.
Apparently I had unwittedly made a transmitter, and it transmitted whatever I was watching on the VCR which was frequently porn. Who knows who got a special treat when they tuned into channel 7? I disconnected my setup that day.
Well, I can only imagine it would go a little something like this:
"Ohhhh...,Oh nooo! While the video was clearly marked as 'scat,' there wasn't even a trace of Jazz influence here. Boy have I been made the fool. I didn't know what to expect, this German Scat, but I never expected it to be this shitty"
works every time.
"Ohhhh...,Oh nooo! While the video was clearly marked as 'scat,' there wasn't even a trace of Jazz influence here. Boy have I been made the fool. I didn't know what to expect, this German Scat, but I never expected it to be this shitty"
works every time.
Most likely just freeze... then I would probably think to myself "who the hell are these 3?"
Then I'd come to the conclusion they're nobody important and continuw, you don't want to waste a perfectly good boner do you? Well that might be a bit weird in some situations, but most of the time?
Then I'd come to the conclusion they're nobody important and continuw, you don't want to waste a perfectly good boner do you? Well that might be a bit weird in some situations, but most of the time?
Ask them if they would like to finish with me... I mean, what could [more] wrong?Barbas said:
Well, it's one thing for your parent(s) to walk into your room while jacking in that plug of yours... It's another for their suppose date to walk in on you wearing the sexy clothing of your parent(s) while jacking in that plug of yours... For me, the latter happened more than the formal... and thank glob we both agreed telepathically to never bring up that part of the past...
Other than that, never let the teacher find out that your gang's equivalent to "The D Club" hangs out in the girl's bathroom... (Not that I'm saying that I've had personal experience with that kind of situation, by the way... *shifty eyes*)
Welcome to Obama's America? The church and state are literally watching you watch porn.sanquin said:
To put it simply, my mother was an unusual person. I mean it wasn't weird for her to take me shopping for female clothing in my teens. But yeah her talking me to an adult store took the cake. Then again she bought me a black PVC dress with pink chiffon frill and a that laced up corset style in the front with pink satin ribbon from hottopic when I was that age too. The potentially sad part is even post my last growth spurt everything that fit me as a teen still fits me.Dirty Cop James funs said:... first of all, let me just tell you you have a very interesting life.KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
Second, what the fuck!?!?Did your mother of all people take you to an adult store? That's... unusual.
OT: Obviously, I would finish right at 'em. That will teach them not to walk in on me while I am having an intimate moment with Rosy Palm and her five sisters. >_>
But yeah the adult store adventure... My mom was had a tipped cervix and recessed and was a very open person, in spite of being schitzo-effective. So regardless of my gender identity, or sexual preference... She wanted to make sure I could be pleased, partly because it was so hard for her. She never invaded my personal time there. But hell did she make sure that I had options. Really though with accepting parents as a transperson... I am so amazingly thankful. Even if they did humiliate and mortify me on a regular basis.
Keep going and then at the climax leap into the air, let go, spin 360 degrees and let loose in their general direction. If I hit all three, yell 'OH BABY A TRIPLE!'
First response:
The fuck are you all doing in my house?! Get the fuck out!!
Also, if the Pope tried to make any righteous statements. "Yeah, well considering you are the impotent figure head of an institution that protects and supports pedophiles worldwide, and also peddle a fictional invisible guy in the sky to judge us, so you can make money, I don't really give a flying fuck what you think of me. Clean up your own house and get a real job before you try and act all judgemental at me."
To the President and Julie Andrews. "Seriously why the fuck are the two of you hanging out with him?" *point to the Pope with the hand not currently occupied.*
The fuck are you all doing in my house?! Get the fuck out!!
Also, if the Pope tried to make any righteous statements. "Yeah, well considering you are the impotent figure head of an institution that protects and supports pedophiles worldwide, and also peddle a fictional invisible guy in the sky to judge us, so you can make money, I don't really give a flying fuck what you think of me. Clean up your own house and get a real job before you try and act all judgemental at me."
To the President and Julie Andrews. "Seriously why the fuck are the two of you hanging out with him?" *point to the Pope with the hand not currently occupied.*
Is asking for group sex out of the question? I think Obama, the Pope and the sliver fox Julie Andrews would make for a wonderful orgy.
I'd tell the Pope and possibly the president (president of what exactly?) to kindly GTFO. I'd tell Julie Andrews that she should stay and inquire what she's into.